Heartbrokenandinlove Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Well she admitted it - she left me because she has feelings for someone else.... No more second chances then...no more trying to win her back...I actually think I want to get over her now... So what next? Shes ripped my heart out all over again
Brokenhearted_girl Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Well she admitted it - she left me because she has feelings for someone else.... No more second chances then...no more trying to win her back...I actually think I want to get over her now... So what next? Shes ripped my heart out all over again Hi Heartbrokenandinlove... My heart goes out to you. We are both on the same boat. The part where there are no more second chances, where you can't win your ex back, that is what kills me too... I am currently trying to find a therapist to help me out as I think this will help me out sort out a lot of questions in my mind. I wish I can give you sound advice, but I am as shattered as you are. Just know that you are not alone and through time and no contact, you will be able to move on...
gaudi Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 So what next? Shes ripped my heart out all over again Hey I'm sorry for what has happened, no-one should have to go through the pain that heartbreak brings, unfortunately we all do, and it's what makes us who we are. As for what next, NC, NC all the way, it will help you to move on from the way you are feeling right now. And that is what you need. Good Luck my friend.
Author Heartbrokenandinlove Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 Thank you for the supporting messages. I have initiated NC - and I am determinded to see it though!! It hurts but at least now I want to get over her....Onwards and upwards I guess....Her loss (thats what I keep saying)
Vampire Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Sorry to hear about your situation pal. I'm dreading the day I find out my ex has someone new. For what it's worth, I'm guessing there will be days when all the pain starts up again, no matter how far forward you think you've gone. Just accept it as a minor momentary lapse of reason and not a full time position to occupy. You will have good days and bad. Eventually the days you lapse will be fewer and less impactive on your life. I'm hoping the final hurdle is the bit where you feel bad because you think you're supposed to feel bad and when that happens, you've finally broken free. A saving grace is that you're only human and most certainly not alone. Talk hard fella and stay focused on yourself.
Author Heartbrokenandinlove Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 Thank you Vampire!! Part of me feels free - like why would I want to be with someone who is so messed up in the head...i'll find someone whos a bit more chilled out...But obviously this comes with feelings of loss and lonelyness. I will keep telling meself its a tempory lapse of reality - onwards and upwards....I guess!
Vampire Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Absolutely brother. Share the good days and the bad with us, as we're all in the same boat and it sure as hell helps knowing others are going through the same spectrum of emotions. Keep yourself as busy as possible, regardless of how impossible it may seem. I'm doing my best to keep my mind occupied; college helps as does the odd hobby. Feels like my ex-fiance stole my heart when she walked away, but my soul? Well what's left of it is mine.
Author Heartbrokenandinlove Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 I will do mate - thanks for your kind words!! Hope you can start seeing thight at the end of the tunnel... She can take it, she can have my heart it was mine to give her but she will not leave with my life too
LovelyDaze Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I will do mate - thanks for your kind words!! Hope you can start seeing thight at the end of the tunnel... She can take it, she can have my heart it was mine to give her but she will not leave with my life too Love that. You will learn to love her from a far, then wish her well, then not give a damn at all. How do I know? Been through it half a dozen times before...
Author Heartbrokenandinlove Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 Thank you Loverly Daze, today seems too easy in a way - I mean i woke up feeling slightly happy because I didn't have to face her and her games, I feel free from her emotional unstability! - i think i got some closure from her yesterday... I know this isn't going to last and sooner or later I will crash again but right now i'm happy to ride this rollercoaster... She is now staying with this person she has feelings for - and im not bothered...In a way I hope they hit it off and get together because you can see that it will never work....their both emotionally unbalanced and don't know whether they're coming or going...and they both certainly don't know what they want - out of anything! The strangest thing is....I am meeting someone today....a friend of a friend that I have been chatting to over the past week....We've never met up before, but clearly know alot about each other through our chats. I've found myself sat here with butterflies at the thought of meeting her (shes beautiful). This is too soon for me to be feeling anything (only a month since me and my ex broke up) so I'm confused about why i'm so excited. I DONT want to rebound because I dont want to mess anyone around, and I know I need to be ready in myself to love someone again, in a way I dont think im looking for anything romantic...perhaps it just the thought of knowing theres others out there? Confused....but happy!
Wicker_Parked Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 (edited) wow sounds like poor old me before, what you have to do is find something to take your aggression out on, like do a contact sport, i love boxing. you see 1) as a male your confidence takes a major hit, you just dont understand, how can this guy be better or what does he have that i dont 2) dating other girls wont help at this point nor will trying to make your ex jealous 3) Dont pine and wait around hoping that this rebound will fall through and you will be there to pick her up, and i know you have heard it but no contact does friggin wonders mate. I know every time i heard or tried to find out info on my Ex or her rebound(s) it would hurt, so dont - move away delete all facebook, email and phone numbers for now. She will and always definately calls especailly when she has a crappy day, when this eventually happens you will feel a momentous power shift. I fell into a deep hole, lost my jobs, moved from the city to a country town where i knew no one, while her life was going up and up, new job, guys, study and busy all the time. and me living with my mom again, no money, and putting on weight. Soooo fast forward 2 months to the present, i got a well paying job, just enrolled in uni study, and just finished my assessment for the airforce as a pilot or linguist, yes 4 years in the airforce by the time i get out i wont even remeber her, and getting ripped for upcoming music festivals. You see when this happened to me i tried every way to understand why this new guy was better, this was good as i spent months bettering myself so that she would see that i am better, and eventually it just clicked that you dont have to prove anything to your ex, this improvment becomes a part of you and you start to forget why you started the whole process. My backgound was my Ex dumped me, when we were going out i missed all the redflags, 1) she asked for and open relationship 2) she asked if she could have guy friends to talk to, to which i said was fine, she then told me she previously hooked up with the guy she wants to talk to... 3) 2 weeks after the first time we broke up she called me drunk and says she is out with friends who are looking after her, she eventually tells me she hooked up with 2 guys that night, lol 4) the second time we broke up 5 days after i was on a snowboarding trip with mates, she calls and tells me she slept with some guy that looks like me in the back of his car, says she thinks its good for me to know this 5) 3rd breakup she eventually tells me that she broke up the first time cos she started liking someone else and it wasnt the guy she slept with! 6) She told her family and friends we broke up over money im guessing so as to make it look like it was my fault and she keeps her prissy image, like she is the victim, but after a loooong time the truth always comes out.... Now you guys are prob saying 'dude why did you give her 3 chances? its your fault' but during all these red flags she never told me the whole truth only when we were done and over did it all come out. so at the end of the day, leave em, and move on, and send a thank you card for xmas to the rebound guy for taking the problem ex off your hands and now you have more money and feedom for yourself! My best moment was when she ran into me while i was working at this new nightclub, i was with two hot girls i work with, and the club was known for being the busiest club and for the hottest girls that go there and how they only hire hot bargirls to work there haha..thatll learn her! she ended up ringing me up the next week twice a day, i ignored only when it was convenient....so boys it does all work out in the end, my ordeal went for 6 months of this breakup mess! so Heartbrokenandinlove the point to my story is that, this whole thing is a process, it sux, it hurts, and she has all the power and you are priviledged to go through this experience called love, but one day, i dont know when its been 6 months for me and its only just starting to look up. But when it does, you will regain your confidence, stand on your own 2 feet and your mind will reset back to when it was before you met her, you will become attractive again - but no or limited contact is the only way this will happen and remember the reason why you guys got together was becos u did something that made her chase you... The thing i learnt was that the reason she started liking someone else was that i changed and stopped being the guy she was chasing, i got lazy, needy and i know now that is a mistake i wont be making with my next Ex lol! Edited January 7, 2010 by Wicker_Parked
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