Tina1689 Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I have a boyfriend that I have been with for a little over 4 months now and he and his ex broke up 6 months ago. Well they still talk, hang out text each other ALL day long. Like consistently for hours. We will be sitting there and there he is texting and texting. He says they are still friends, that he still cares for her but not romantically and he still wants to be friends with her. Oh and she never wanted the breakup so she is still wanting him back. Plus they were together for 3 years. I just don't know if I should trust him like I feel like they still have something going. Need some advice. Thanks!
Bejita463 Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I can have relationships with my exes, and keep things in the proper perspective just fine. In general however, I would consider this sort of behavior from any partner to be... disconcerting. I don't think his being friends with an ex is a problem, depending on how he handles it, but if she still wants him back and he is paying that kind of attention... he isn't handling it right.
Ronni_W Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I think...is that his only "friend" who he is allowing to monopolize his time like that, and for whom he ignores you? For me, it's not a matter of trust but one of respect -- mostly significantly for you and your time. But also for his primary/romantic relationship -- he does not appear to have clue one as to how to conduct himself with his actual, current girlfriend...almost as if he's not even seeing you like that, huh? I would suggest: Tell him it's not working for you, tell him what would work better, and tell him to stuff it if he balks at your (appropriate) request that he stay predominantly (within reasonable limits) engaged with and emotionally connected to YOU when he's with you.
Author Tina1689 Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 And actually he has many friends that are girls which he is texting all the time whenever I am with him. And I want to believe that he isn't messing around with any of these girls or his ex but I feel like he is disrespecting me while I am with him and your right it is our time together. And he can text them that is fine but just not the WHOLE time I am with him ya know. Oh and I just wanted to add that if the ex calls him or he needs to call her I have to be quite because he doesn't want to hurt her or make it a big fight, cuz she doesn't like me because I am seeing him.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Oh and I just wanted to add that if the ex calls him or he needs to call her I have to be quite because he doesn't want to hurt her or make it a big fight, cuz she doesn't like me because I am seeing him. I think with this said, he is still mentally and/or romantically involved with his ex. It seems like he is still in love with her and isn't willing to let go. Has he ever showed you the texts to re assure you that he is having a platonic conversation?
phineas Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 It must be a generation thing. I'm late 30's. I have a female friend late 30's also. we are not dateing or anything like that & both of us barely touch our phones if we are doing something together. If I go to her house she keeps it on a shelf. If i'm at my house I keep it on my desk. Neither of us carry them around with us while we are in our houses. It's just damn annoying when someone your with has their nose in their cell phone. It's rude also. The fact your supposed to be his GF makes it doubly so in my opinion.
stace79 Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 RUN. As fast as you can. The fact that she's still into him is a huge red flag, and the fact that he still pays her that kind of attention KNOWING she still wants him is also a red flag. If he was a kind person, worried about other people's well being, then he would back off so she would move on. Not continue to lead her on the way he is. Additionally, do you really want to be with someone who's texting another woman all the time when you're with him? He should be paying attention to you. Actually, I wouldn't care who he was texting -- texting the entire time you are sitting there with someone is just bad manners.
donkey riding Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 im good friends with my ex wife. she comes out with me and has even meet some of my dating friends. no problems, women can read other women better and as long as your honest w self and dating partner you should fine.
Recommended Posts