Author Lizzie60 Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 Were online dating not involved, he would likely be doing the same thing, via the pages of a little black book, just not as transparently in a monitorable way. In one respect, seeing him logged on the dating site is a good sign, as we usually don't log onto dating sites while we are in bed with a woman. They tend not to like that. If you are looking for a relationship, and not another stable mate, when exactly will you feel a need to reveal your activities with other men to this one? IF we ever become exclusive and in a committed relationship..... I will be faithful... always been... BUT to reveal my past.. NOOOOO... I don't ask questions about his past.. he doesn't need to know anything about mine..
carhill Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Lizzie, I would say that until there is a ring on your finger, your profile stays there... I approve this message Lizzie, right now, in the present, since you've been dating this man, if you've had relations with other men, or, if you intend to, you're essentially doing the same thing as him cruising the dating site. This minute's present is the next minute's past so be mindful of that slippery slope. I would not have approved as I did above prior to being married, but now, having been married, I see the wisdom of that perspective.
meerkat stew Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 IF we ever become exclusive and in a committed relationship..... I will be faithful... always been... BUT to reveal my past.. NOOOOO... I don't ask questions about his past.. he doesn't need to know anything about mine.. Sorry, assumed wrongly that you meant you would continue with your other men even after starting to date this one exclusively. My misread.
sagetalk Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 That's what I'll do.. say nothing.. and wait to see what he does... I'm not 'in love' with the guy.. so if I see that he's still shopping after a while.. I won't answer his calls.. or his emails... that should do it.. The amount of pressure some of you girls on here put on men on the first few dates is agonizing. It makes me want to not date at all .
Author Lizzie60 Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 The amount of pressure some of you girls on here put on men on the first few dates is agonizing. It makes me want to not date at all . Humm... you remind me of someone else.. like 'Owl'..
sagetalk Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Humm... you remind me of someone else.. like 'Owl'.. Owl from Winnie the Pooh?
Author Lizzie60 Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 Owl from Winnie the Pooh? No.. Owl.. from LS.. (I never watched WtP)
sagetalk Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 No.. Owl.. from LS.. (I never watched WtP) I hope that's a compliment.
Author Lizzie60 Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 I hope that's a compliment. I was talking about your avatar... (just kidding)...
TheLoneSock Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Yes... because he has no idea about my extra-curricular activities... Remind me to watch out for girls like you... I'm so fragile as it is.
MyNameIsJonas Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 (edited) That's what I'll do.. say nothing.. and wait to see what he does... I'm not 'in love' with the guy.. so if I see that he's still shopping after a while.. I won't answer his calls.. or his emails... that should do it.. No offense Lizzie, but if a woman did that to me, I would assume she lost interest, which would cause me to conclude that I should move on to different options, which would increase my activity on the site. Isn't the point of this to decrease his attention to the site and increase his attention to you? Your idea has a high risk of backfire. Think of a different option that is more direct and gives the guy the benefit of the doubt. You do have an interest in him and not just in playing games, right?? Unless you were being sarcastic and I am completely off base here, in which case ignore everything I just said. Edited January 7, 2010 by MyNameIsJonas
Author Lizzie60 Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 No offense Lizzie, but if a woman did that to me, I would assume she lost interest, which would cause me to conclude that I should move on to different options, which would increase my activity on the site. Isn't the point of this to decrease his attention to the site and increase his attention to you? Your idea has a high risk of backfire. Think of a different option that is more direct and gives the guy the benefit of the doubt. You do have an interest in him and not just in playing games, right?? Unless you were being sarcastic and I am completely off base here, in which case ignore everything I just said. No.. I was serious... if, after a few dates, he's still 'shopping'... I will ignore him... and of course I know he will think I lost interest.. and he'll be right.. I will have lose all interest in him... I'm already starting to lose interest...
MyNameIsJonas Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 No.. I was serious... if, after a few dates, he's still 'shopping'... I will ignore him... and of course I know he will think I lost interest.. and he'll be right.. I will have lose all interest in him... I'm already starting to lose interest... Well, it seems to me that you didn't really care for this guy in the first place if you are getting a kick out of playing these jedi-mindtrick games with him. I figure that if you actually did care about him, you would be upfront and ask why he's still poking around on the site (pun. hah.). Again, I mean no offense by this because I don't know you at all. I'm just stating things as I see them. Hopefully you have better luck with the next guy.
alphamale Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 No.. I was serious... if, after a few dates, he's still 'shopping'... I will ignore him... yea but you're "shopping" 24/7/365
sagetalk Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 No.. I was serious... if, after a few dates, he's still 'shopping'... I will ignore him... and of course I know he will think I lost interest.. and he'll be right.. I will have lose all interest in him... I'm already starting to lose interest... That paragraph is so unattractive I can't even begin to explain it.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 I get where Lizzie's coming from, totally. I've never done online dating, but I can say in a broader way that when a woman is AWARE that her man is "shopping", "browsing the merchandise", whatever, it is not uncommon for her to lose interest in him. Women are wired to reject prospective mates who show hints of disloyalty. We want to be your one and only. Of course, the kicker here is that Lizzie is herself the merchandise to other men, but her prospective beau can't see that. So it's anybody's guess.
Author Lizzie60 Posted January 8, 2010 Author Posted January 8, 2010 yea but you're "shopping" 24/7/365 OMG.. Alphabits (kidding) you are wrong.. I do not shop around ... I already have my 'stable' of men .. I am just interested to see if I can find someone 'serious'... maybe...
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