Wicked Child Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I've noticed alot of posts from people that have gone back to or tried online dating. I've recently been perusing the world of e-suitors, after a string of two date Toms that have gone nowhere, and have managed to find a quite delectable man....Job, car, owns a business, has his own place...very driven and successful. We chatted briefly before meeting, and had a successful first date that did involve some randy play. A week later, I went to his place and spent the night. Afterward, I had pretty much figured that it was just a fwb type thing, as all we did was get intimate and watch a movie after. The contact in between meetings has been quite minimal, random texts here and there...we rarely talk on the phone (which I don't really have an issue with, cos I hate talking on the phone..) .So you can see where I wouldn't really take anything that seriously..I didn't really have a problem with any of it..We get along great, and at the very least, I've made a good friend. Here's where the confusion sets in: A couple weeks ago, I had planned to spend the night there...When I got there, it was frisky business as usual. Afterward, while we were cuddling in bed, he formally asks me to go out with him on V-day...Then goes on about how he's started planning it and what not. (what?! It's like 2 months away!!! and I have never been taken out on V-Day.) My head spun...exorcist style, I swear. I was very careful not to let myself get carried away in something that was possibly only for satisfaction..so I had been treading carefully and treating it as a fleeting hookup. It was a bit of a bombshell to discover that this guy may actually be interested in more than booty...Something I wasn't really expecting at all, given the sexual nature of things between us. Don't you agree? This is also the first I've encountered of a man making future plans to such a degree...let alone after having a primarily sexually based relationship...I know it's rather long winded, and there really isn't an actual question here...i'm basically just looking for opinions on the whole thing...I haven't been in a serious relationship in 5 years, (and that one was just a jobless waste of space...a complete 180 from this guy.) or dated anyone where it's gone any further than a couple dates...So ladies, have you ever encountered this??? Gentlemen, what's your take? Think I should let my sappy side through a little, or just follow his lead? I have to admit, I'm a little hesitant about starting something based on sexual compatibility, even though it's important to me..
CaspianDreams Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Thinking that far in advance is definitely strange. That said, he cares about you - if you want a more significant relationship, I say see how things pan out, and if you want more communication/contact, talk with him about it. If you're looking for more casual, well, maybe move-on. Moreover, if you're scared of the sexual basis of the relationship, if he's serious about things, chances are you can throttle back and get to know each other a bit more. If he says no, well, you know why he's around. If he really cares, he should be willing to slow up a bit, and get to know the personality in the body a bit better.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I generally like the tone of most of your offering, and I think the first respondent here used the word "strange" in a way that might inspire the wrong amount of caution. It is "unique", and perhaps "unusual", but "strange" almost implies 'creepy', and I would never see that in what you've shared. You and this man are certainly allowed to have romantic pursuits online, and you are allowed to make-nice with one another quite soon after initial real-life encounter. You don't have to talk on the phone, and it doesn't even have to be serious if that suits you both. AND there is nothing wrong with a considerably-physical-at-first encounter evolving to produce enhanced interaction and traditional romance, even IF it was partly a product of sexual compatibility that things evolved. Consider, also, that the internet allows a woman to have sex with a man she feels she *knows* while at the same time a man is having sex with a woman he *just met*. Then open your thoughts to the chance that other things which comprise traditional romance could possibly happen in strange-to-you order after an initial online encounter.
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