datura_noir Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Do you really need to contact him again? "MM, I am contacting you just to say that I won't be contacting you anymore"! Him: "uuhhhh, okkk...." There! Now he'll get it! Sounds so Jr. High to me. Be the woman you would want to be if YOU were his BW. Now THAT would be interesting! You would probably be ready to put him out with the trash, and serve his balls up on a rusty skewer!:lmao:FIND your anger, but most of all, find your LOVE FOR YOURSELF and your protection of your heart.
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 WWIU and Datura, I know you are both VERY right. And I had to laugh at both of you, you made me giggle with some of your stern statements... but I giggled because I know you're right I especially like the one about how I should react as if I was his BS... and that is so true. Balls in a vice! Although, as I type that, I know his balls are anywhere but in a vice... she seems to want him at all costs and doesn't question him once he comes back (and back and back and back)... but that's her right, too... So on I go! I'm really doing a lot better than I thought I would be today. This NC thing really DOES help. We've never done that before. We always had texting available, so it is a lot easier for me now that I can't do that with his number being changed. I admit to being weak, so this does help. Email is still there, but with that you never really know if they actually open it up or not. Texts are a little harder to avoid when you are a guy who has his phone on him 24/7. Oh well... I keep telling myself she can have him. Like you said, he didn't make vows to me, but he sure as hell did to her... But I miss him.... so much it makes me hurt Those crystal blue eyes are seared into my heart...
sugarmomma Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 But I miss him.... so much it makes me hurt Those crystal blue eyes are seared into my heart... If only he felt the same way, then you would be happy. I just bought this No Contact Guide and it is absolutely priceless! The site itself really helped getting over an attached/MM. http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-no-contact-rule-ebook-2/
jennie-jennie Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I know you're hurting because the married guy I cheated with stopped calling me out of the blue the minute I was single. He literaly didn't answer my calls or emails (there was no txting then). My friend finally called him to say "WTF"and he called me and said "I met somene else, I don't love you anymore and please don't call me again" Turns out, I was not the only one he was cheating with. I was STUNNED and devastated. I was going to move to where he was (4 hrs away), leave my great job, my family etc for this PIECE OF DIRT! I look back (this was 11 yrs ago) and can't believe how in denial I was Interesting to get some background to your posting, RedDevil. It gives perspective to the sharpness of your posts.
Spoiled Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I didn't read anywhere that he told you he was "feeling victorious that he stood up for her and their M". Did he say that? I could only base this on my situation. There's a lot to be said for some people about obligations and doing 'whats right' vs doing what you want. I agree entering into an A is a very selfish thing to begin with. I've learned that. In the d-days I've had the pleasure of enjoying, to make the actual words come out and say "I'm done" is a very hard thing. Neither my AP or I have really been able to do that to this point. I used to think that if our SO's would make the decision for us that it would be easier, but now I think that if we really wanted to be together, we'd better be able to make that kind of decision on our own or we wouldn't have the commitment to each other we'd need to get through the rest of the damage. I guess what I'm saying is that maybe he really is hurting, just like you inside. Maybe he got a huge dose of reality of what he was about to do and all the obligations came right into the fore front. Maybe he's realizing what other family and friends will be affected by all of this. Maybe he really thought he could do it when he told you that he would. Maybe he really does love you like he says. I know I love my AP more than anything. I've never said words to her that I didn't mean. She says she needs to work on her M. I love her enough to let her. I know I seem to be the minority here. I'd just like to think that there are people out there that don't enter into these A's on purpose and play games to keep they're AP in the emotional frenzy..... call me crazy. I do wish that he would've had enough courtesy to at least tell you why and not just disappear. That is really chickensh*t. I'm sorry for that IMTK. I do feel your pain. As a xMOW, I understand your post. I know about "obligations" and "doing what's right." If my H did not have the desire to reconcile, I would have left after d-day as I had offered to leave. It is very possible he is hurting from his lost. But, she is going to have to let him go. Right now, the pain is great and I know she has questions. She wants to understand, that's normal. But it will take time. I miss the kiss...........do not contact him.
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