A Second Chance? Don't do it... This is what I believe I've learned

[bananaboat11]

A relationship is passion, infatuation... being with someone you can't/don't want to live without. You need to begin somewhere otherwise what are you left with? Fall head over heels for him/her and love them like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him/her? Forget your head (and all your delusion), listen to your heart. Risk it all and if you get hurt, you'll eventually bounce right back. What's living your life without these feelings and emotions? To go day to day and not fall deeply in love... well, you haven't lived a life at all, I say. Try! If you haven't tried, you haven't lived. (took some of these ideas from Meet Joe Black lol)

 

Granted, relationships are nothing like what you see in the movies, but what is it about the movies we enjoy so much? The ability for motion pictures to capture our imaginations, our hearts, and our inner child. Let the little things count, the sweet nothings you want to whisper in your partner's ear, the euphoria of the physical bond between the both of you... let them captivate your heart as you and your inamorata/beau transcend this "world"... they say love is a drug, and when you meet him/her.... time stops. It's true. You should try it some time.

 

And when things go sour in a companionship, it wasn't meant to be. And know, regardless of being the dumper or dumpee... you BOTH are questioning yourselves and what went wrong. Different people... different personalities have different ways of coping with the pain and inner agony they endure. Some withdraw from human emotion while others seek self-satisfaction in another. Sometimes depicting a cruel and insurmountable scenario you firmly believe they've moved on. They haven't. Regardless of the belief 'once an ex, always an ex'... fine. No argument there, but sometimes there is more that can be built off a breakup than one comes to realize.

 

Some people are better off with no contact... others with a generic friendship. And still some become best friends. It isn't YOUR call to make... it's how the situation plays itself out. 1,000 years couldn't change how he/she feels. If it's more than 1 month... there was something there. And no matter how much the other person tries to push you out, you're still there in the back of their head... and maybe, just maybe a bit of you is still lingering in their heart. Why do you think you still have those subconscious urges to contact them? They have them too... but you fight it.

 

And those of you who renounce these thoughts are simply in denial. Not everyone is meant to be. I do not believe in a 'soul mate', but I do have hope there is 'The One'. There are definitely people out there that are VERY compatible with YOU. You just need to live your life and quit being so hung up on trying to find them. Let you find eachother. If you live your life looking introspectively the entire time, you're blinding yourself to seeing the colors around you. He/she that is right for you will glisten and will burn with ardor... and only you can see it.

 

Some of you are just so obsessed with yourselves and on the go 24/7 without stopping to observe the world around you... you're blinded by your own insolence and hauteur.

 

Something didn't work the first time... despite the connection and/or attachment... don't risk your heart a second time only to go through the same trainwreck. Very few times does it work...

 

I wish you luck in life =)

[DenverBachelor]

Something didn't work the first time... despite the connection and/or attachment... don't risk your heart a second time only to go through the same trainwreck. Very few times does it work...

 

For some people, that train is such a comfort-zone to them that they will continue to ride it while it derails and after it wrecks, they'll stand there blaming themselves instead of the conductor / tracks / maintenance / weather / etc.

[dreamer84]

for the relationships ive had, it was a reason why we broke, i don't go back...oneof them was tring to get back saying, she missed me, and i said well you hurt me really badly. you should of thought when you were treating me the way you did...ive moved on now. (I was in this weird sitaution with another ex) -i think she just wanted me back cause she knew i was with someone else.

 

my current heartbreak is different...we never were together...we don't know if it will work...she is too young and wants to be free....i can't fault her for that....

Edited January 9, 2010 by dreamer84

[jjhart]

Man, i gotta disagree, Second Chances are possible, but its got to be something in the relationship significant. My good friend, he broke up with his girlfriend at least 4 times before they were married. Each time, they found their way back to each other. Each time. Do i believe my ex girlfriend and i are going to get back together? no. In the back of my mind, do i want us to be back together? hell yes. If i had a second chance, would i take it? yes, if she has changed and i have changed, then its not the same relationship. People change, and that can make it different. My friend, he and his wife changed alot over the course of dating. I think thats why they worked out. So i agree, a second chance with a person is probably going to be a train wreck, but getting that second chance, well, you gotta think about it right? you cant just dismiss it. you cant just say, "no second chances dont work", and not sit down and talk, and say "this is why it didnt work before". I think its possible, but it takes two people who care about each other to work through things. But i will say this. Loving someone is hard enough. Loving someone who hurt you is even harder, and second chances do happen and do work out, but the odds are not very good at all. But hey, if i got a second chance, and someone told me there was a 99% chance it was going to fail, i would say, if it works with a 1% chance of success, then it was meant to be. Of course, i have also been accused of being into self torture in relationships.....

[9Lives]

people go into second chances with the wrong mind set and also move too fast and that has alot to do with second chances not working. You are starting alll over and it takes time for it to be good again. Plus you have to learn what made it go bad in the first place. Second chance work but it takes time, patiences, and very low expectations. It can happen