bwidger Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 (edited) I kind of expect to be able to see someone I'm first dating 1-2 days a week. If someone doesn’t offer the time to see them at least 1-2 a week I become dissatisfied and want to end it. I think having an expectation to date someone 1-2 a week isn't too much, do you? If my expectations are 1-2 days a week and that person doesn’t find the time, should I keep looking until I find someone who will? The thing is, I've run into a lot of women who won't put in 2 days a week and sometimes not even one so I'm at odds at what to think about it. I mean, isn't it normal to see someone at least 1-2 days a week when dating? Can I get some input on this please? If she doesn’t meet my time expectations I should just move on, right? Are my expectations too unreasonable (1-2 days a week of hang out) if I just met someone? Explain this to me please... Edited January 6, 2010 by bwidger
xpaperxcutx Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 If their interests matches yours, then 1-2 times a week is reasonable ( depending on work and schedule). However I don't agree that it should be an expectation unless there was spoken agreement that the both of you are exclusive. Otherwise they're allowed to say they don't want to see you.
Author bwidger Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 If their interests matches yours, then 1-2 times a week is reasonable ( depending on work and schedule). However I don't agree that it should be an expectation unless there was spoken agreement that the both of you are exclusive. Otherwise they're allowed to say they don't want to see you. Well let me admit this, I get needy and/or insecure if I'm not able to see someone once a week because usually it seems like the beginning of the end. It's horrible feeling that way and I don't know what to do about it to be honest. It would appear as if they can't see you one week then it might be the week after, and sometimes this happens. And as far as you speaking interests, do you mean how often they would want to see someone a week? In other words, we both want to see each other 1-2 times a week and that is what we are both looking for?
meerkat stew Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Try to worry less about setting expectations like this and more about having fun while you are together in the early going.
Author bwidger Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 Try to worry less about setting expectations like this and more about having fun while you are together in the early going. I try to but eventually I'll want to see them more and I always find it a problem when I can't see them so many times a week.
DustySaltus Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I think you need to realize that some weeks it may not be possible and others it might be 4-5 times in a week. When you find someone that is mutually attracted to you they will understand what you are all about and you won't even have to say anything, it will just happen. Just have fun and enjoy the moment. Don't be out on these dates thinking, "Gee, this is great I wonder if we'll hang out again this week" Just live in and enjoy the moment and project confidence. Unfortunately, sometimes the people you want to hang out with the most are the least available and the people that you only have mild interest in want to hang out six days a week, so go figure.
Author bwidger Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 I think you need to realize that some weeks it may not be possible and others it might be 4-5 times in a week. When you find someone that is mutually attracted to you they will understand what you are all about and you won't even have to say anything, it will just happen. Just have fun and enjoy the moment. Don't be out on these dates thinking, "Gee, this is great I wonder if we'll hang out again this week" Just live in and enjoy the moment and project confidence. Unfortunately, sometimes the people you want to hang out with the most are the least available and the people that you only have mild interest in want to hang out six days a week, so go figure. Thanks for the responses. I suppose you two are right. I'll just see what happens...
ordinary_girl Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 it's good to know what matters to you though. I wouldn't date anyone either that doesn't want to hang out a couple of times a week. what's the point? if you are not bonding, it's wasting everyone's time. people make time for those they like
meerkat stew Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 it's good to know what matters to you though. I wouldn't date anyone either that doesn't want to hang out a couple of times a week. what's the point? if you are not bonding, it's wasting everyone's time. people make time for those they like The point is to have fun with someone. For me, this works better than starting a dating process of systematic, escalating dates and contact in the early going. I don't want to start a bonding process with someone just met, but rather a fun, social process. The bonding comes a bit further down the road after we have been on several early dates.
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