KangaKitten Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. We have a good relationship in general, we really care for each other and have been through ALOT together. Anyways, about 2 months ago i was living with my mom, jobless and he was doing the same. My mom flipped out and within 2 weeks i had to move to Oklahoma to be with family cause i had no where else to go. I have been out here a month, he is coming in a little over 2 weeks. At first he had no way to get a hold of me so i would get a call maybe once a day at most..a couple days i went without a call at all. even though it was hard, i think we were both happier. he was focusing on getting money for a ticket and i was focused on family. whenever we did talk we mostly had good conversations with alot of love and understanding. I guess knowing he couldnt call me kinnda forced me to let go. But now we both have internet and have been talking over webcam and fighting alot. I get frustrated because i have to sit in the living room to talk to him and the tv is always on and my elderly grandma is constantly making weird sounds(as old people do) and smoking ciggs(i hate ciggaretts) . On top of it i cant get out of the house because its freezing cold here and i dont know anyone. Im under alot of stress here and really miss him. I feel like im REALLY starting not to trust him(about girls, drugs, his health, even if he really got a plane ticket) and have a short fuse for him especially. Maybe its because of the distance, or i have control issues..Or maybe i have a valid reason to be so frustrated with him. Sometimes, especially the last few days he seems to be taking off alot or ignoring me on webcam. My little brother will come up to the camera and they will make weird faces at each other and ignore me or he will be playing games online or just say brb and walk off and not come back for hours.I am also annoyed with how he is handling his money and time out there, he has 2 weeks to handle some traffic tickets and save money for out here and for his luggage but his money is just flying out the window. He never talks to me about his plans with money or court and when i try to drag it out of him he flips out. When i try to talk to him about how i feel about his behavior he usually kinnda ignores it, handles it real lightly with a bunch of i love you's and kisses. but that doesnt make me feel better and when i keep pushing for answers he gets really defesive and usually takes off. I guess i am being kinnda a bitch but i dont know how to handle him when he is like that. Nothing is ever resolved and im going crazy. Today i talked to him for maybe 5 mins, he said he was going to look for something upstairs, i said ok, then he shut off the webcam and i waited for him for an hour. then i left him a message saying he sucks and im hurt by him leaving and that i regret getting the internet because now he doesnt dedicate anytime to me. i also told him that if he wanted to talk to me he better find a phone because im not going back on aim. 3 or 4 hours later he came back then just signed off. i feel bad about saying that and regret it. i am so confused right now, i know he loves me so much and hes is doing so much to get out here with me, he is even leaving behind the car his mom gave him but he just is bugging that hell out of me....i dont know what to do or why im feeling like this...please help me.
Sparkling Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. We have a good relationship in general, we really care for each other and have been through ALOT together. Anyways, about 2 months ago i was living with my mom, jobless and he was doing the same. My mom flipped out and within 2 weeks i had to move to Oklahoma to be with family cause i had no where else to go. I have been out here a month, he is coming in a little over 2 weeks. At first he had no way to get a hold of me so i would get a call maybe once a day at most..a couple days i went without a call at all. even though it was hard, i think we were both happier. he was focusing on getting money for a ticket and i was focused on family. whenever we did talk we mostly had good conversations with alot of love and understanding. I guess knowing he couldnt call me kinnda forced me to let go. But now we both have internet and have been talking over webcam and fighting alot. I get frustrated because i have to sit in the living room to talk to him and the tv is always on and my elderly grandma is constantly making weird sounds(as old people do) and smoking ciggs(i hate ciggaretts) . On top of it i cant get out of the house because its freezing cold here and i dont know anyone. Im under alot of stress here and really miss him. I feel like im REALLY starting not to trust him(about girls, drugs, his health, even if he really got a plane ticket) and have a short fuse for him especially. Maybe its because of the distance, or i have control issues..Or maybe i have a valid reason to be so frustrated with him. Sometimes, especially the last few days he seems to be taking off alot or ignoring me on webcam. My little brother will come up to the camera and they will make weird faces at each other and ignore me or he will be playing games online or just say brb and walk off and not come back for hours.I am also annoyed with how he is handling his money and time out there, he has 2 weeks to handle some traffic tickets and save money for out here and for his luggage but his money is just flying out the window. He never talks to me about his plans with money or court and when i try to drag it out of him he flips out. When i try to talk to him about how i feel about his behavior he usually kinnda ignores it, handles it real lightly with a bunch of i love you's and kisses. but that doesnt make me feel better and when i keep pushing for answers he gets really defesive and usually takes off. I guess i am being kinnda a bitch but i dont know how to handle him when he is like that. Nothing is ever resolved and im going crazy. Today i talked to him for maybe 5 mins, he said he was going to look for something upstairs, i said ok, then he shut off the webcam and i waited for him for an hour. then i left him a message saying he sucks and im hurt by him leaving and that i regret getting the internet because now he doesnt dedicate anytime to me. i also told him that if he wanted to talk to me he better find a phone because im not going back on aim. 3 or 4 hours later he came back then just signed off. i feel bad about saying that and regret it. i am so confused right now, i know he loves me so much and hes is doing so much to get out here with me, he is even leaving behind the car his mom gave him but he just is bugging that hell out of me....i dont know what to do or why im feeling like this...please help me. You said you know he loves you so much, and doing so much to get you out of here...but, then you just also said how he is spending all of his money of frivilous stuff which contradicts this. He has time to make goofy faces with your brother but not you. You said he told you he would brb then leaves you for an hour... He is very immature. Plus, he is being disrespectful of you and your feelings. If this is how someone treats you when they love you... I don't want it.
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