New_Life08 Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Puts a different perspective on things doesn't it? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t210180/ I looked at this thread and maybe I didn't go far enough but I couldn't find what he said to her that night. My only guess could be he offended her by telling her to get over it or something. maybe it is simply the fact he was so drunk that bothers her. Who knows, but she should have been straight up about what was said (maybe she was... who knows). But she is obviously done; he needs to move on.
Author cognac Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 I looked at this thread and maybe I didn't go far enough but I couldn't find what he said to her that night. My only guess could be he offended her by telling her to get over it or something. maybe it is simply the fact he was so drunk that bothers her. Who knows, but she should have been straight up about what was said (maybe she was... who knows). But she is obviously done; he needs to move on. Thanks New Life, you are obviously smarter than the sheeple who are blindly following "dreamergrl". And no I didn't even say that. I didn't say anything at all, she actually told me "you were just trying to be nice" but was confused because in the living room there were people laughing (they were all very high) and you could hear that in the background. I find it hilarious how some simple minded, tyra banks watching people like "dreamergrl" think people are actually black and white, that I'm some kind of comic book supervillain and this girl is a brave heroine thwarting my master plan to "abuse her" (never did such a thing) by randomly (after confessing her love) throwing up a shoulder colder than an iceberg in january.
Vertex Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Cut me some friggin slack, some of you are acting like I'm one of the plaid shirt villains from those Brink's Home Security commercials. Actually, the Brink's Home Security criminals stop trying to break in once their plans have been foiled. You keep going even after the alarms are blaring. Would you mind sharing the message you left on the machine?
dreamergrl Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Thanks New Life, you are obviously smarter than the sheeple who are blindly following "dreamergrl". And no I didn't even say that. I didn't say anything at all, she actually told me "you were just trying to be nice" but was confused because in the living room there were people laughing (they were all very high) and you could hear that in the background. I find it hilarious how some simple minded, tyra banks watching people like "dreamergrl" think people are actually black and white, that I'm some kind of comic book supervillain and this girl is a brave heroine thwarting my master plan to "abuse her" (never did such a thing) by randomly (after confessing her love) throwing up a shoulder colder than an iceberg in january. I don't watch Tyra Let's just pretend you didn't say anything offensive in that drunken message... your hate still spews out. Not just in that thread. It spews out in other people's threads. You bash on women so often. You have no respect for them, regardless. This girl doesn't want anything to do with you (which I'm sure has a lot to do with your attitude), instead of letting it go like any mature person, you send her texts flipping out and admit to wanting to hurt her and do damage to her. The elevator is not going to the top floor in your head.
Author cognac Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 Actually, the Brink's Home Security criminals stop trying to break in once their plans have been foiled. You keep going even after the alarms are blaring. Would you mind sharing the message you left on the machine? I haven't mustered up the courage to actually call her yet. I want to make sure she doesn't actually have a good reason for not talking to me before burning all the bridges. If I get the slightest hint she has picked the guy she was with over me then I will surely leave her that text message I haven't sent yet. I'm hoping her knucklehead boyfriend calls me after this in response to talk crap, then at that point I will inform him of all the things his sweet little girl has been up to Then I will throw down the smoke pellets and vanish, Joker style (since you guys think I'm a comic book villain)
Author cognac Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 Let's just pretend you didn't say anything offensive in that drunken message... your hate still spews out. Not just in that thread. It spews out in other people's threads. You bash on women so often. You have no respect for them, regardless. [/Quote] I was never like that around her. If anything, she was more anti-woman than I ever could be. She barely has any female friends and loathed being around them, she would tell me most women are dumb and men are far more interesting and intelligent. This wasn't an issue at all because I didn't treat her like I "hated her" , quite the opposite, my attitude towards her was of great admiration and love. This girl doesn't want anything to do with you (which I'm sure has a lot to do with your attitude), instead of letting it go like any mature person, you send her texts flipping out and admit to wanting to hurt her and do damage to her. The elevator is not going to the top floor in your head.[/Quote] I don't think letting her slither away after what she did to me is right. I hope you are never a judge of anything dreamergrl, because you allow your own emotional personal bias against me to get in the way of accurately assessing my situation.
Vertex Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I don't watch Tyra Let's just pretend you didn't say anything offensive in that drunken message... your hate still spews out. Not just in that thread. It spews out in other people's threads. You bash on women so often. You have no respect for them, regardless. This girl doesn't want anything to do with you (which I'm sure has a lot to do with your attitude), instead of letting it go like any mature person, you send her texts flipping out and admit to wanting to hurt her and do damage to her. The elevator is not going to the top floor in your head. I'd agree with this. A lot of it is in your attitude. You act like you're entitled to do disrespectful, hurtful things as long as you also do "good" things (lend money, talk, etc). You've admitted in other threads that you don't believe in equal partnerships and that women need to "learn their place" if they're with you. It's an attitude and mold that is very conducive to mind games, especially where women of low self-esteem are concerned. How do you not see the problem with this? Why do you assume that she owes you an explanation despite your attitude and actions (hell, you even called her a slut)? You act baffled that a woman would drop from the face of the earth when you act disrespectful -- the ammunition you've been firing off here in response is in the form of supposedly good deeds, and flaws on her part. Neither of those things can really justify a misogynistic attitude, no matter how you slice it.
Vertex Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Sent her two text messages today: "Found ur number on my pc. I just want to say if you want me out of your life just say so, I'm a big boy and I won't care, but this disappearing stuff is real baby ****. Fickle Slut" This is the one I'll send next: "PS, I'm not angry about what you did to me. Despite not just leading me on, and even spending a good amount of your time convincing me to let you lead me on, it's still not your fault but mine. It was my fault for passing up all the opportunities for sex I had because you had a boyfriend, you've got some nerve, you're a plain jane flat chested ginger and you act like you're carrie bradshaw. " -This one should nuke her self-esteem , I'm saving it for when I know for sure she doesn't have a good excuse for ignoring me. I didn't treat her like I "hated her" , quite the opposite, my attitude towards her was of great admiration and love. You have a very strange way of showing love, sir.
Author cognac Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 You have a very strange way of showing love, sir. Well if she no longer loves me , then I no longer love her. Period. My first name is not jesus, and my last name is not Ghandhi. I'm not going to hang my head in shame after she makes me worried sick about her for a month without the common decency of telling me she's ok but doesn't want to talk to me. Sorry vertex, I don't think women are above morality. Can you imagine if I did this to her? What would her reaction be? I'd probably have her staking out in front of my apartment building as we speak. I'm 100% sure that if it were a woman making my post instead of me, the responses would be radically different.
Vertex Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Well if she no longer loves me , then I no longer love her. Period. My first name is not jesus, and my last name is not Ghandhi. I'm not going to hang my head in shame after she makes me worried sick about her for a month without the common decency of telling me she's ok but doesn't want to talk to me. Sorry vertex, I don't think women are above morality. Can you imagine if I did this to her? What would her reaction be? I'd probably have her staking out in front of my apartment building as we speak. I'm 100% sure that if it were a woman making my post instead of me, the responses would be radically different. Let's just entertain the notion for a second that she's completely in the wrong. She's an immoral, selfish person who doesn't prioritize your feelings. Even if she drops from the face of the earth in a rude way, your reaction is *still* quite childish. A self-respecting man would simply move on and let bygones be bygones instead of pestering her with petty insults. It shows a great deal of immaturity. I'm not saying you should be like Gandhi either, but either way, "eye for an eye" is indeed not something you should live by, if you want to talk about being "above morality," here. If you are so disgusted with this woman and no longer love her, then why continue to speak to her? Do you really need any further explanation?
dreamergrl Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I was never like that around her. If anything, she was more anti-woman than I ever could be. She barely has any female friends and loathed being around them, she would tell me most women are dumb and men are far more interesting and intelligent. This wasn't an issue at all because I didn't treat her like I "hated her" , quite the opposite, my attitude towards her was of great admiration and love. Really, you never spewed out the crap to her face that you said about her behind her back on here? And you don't think that's disrespectful, that you bashed her behind her back? I don't think you can understand what great admiration and love is. You are on a mission to tear her apart, all because she doesn't want you. You can't handle rejection, even when it's her given right. You never answered Vertex when he asked you to share the drunken message. Even if all it was was telling her to move on, that's a crap thing to say to someone you supposedly care about. Telling her to get over it. It was her dad for crying out loud. Then you go on rants about she must be on her period and crap. I don't think letting her slither away after what she did to me is right. I hope you are never a judge of anything dreamergrl, because you allow your own emotional personal bias against me to get in the way of accurately assessing my situation. And then why am I not the only one who thinks you are going off some high extremes. Revenge is not healthy. Anyone can tell you that. I don't have a biased against you, because even my most unhealthy relationships didn't have such hatred to women. Not even close. I have a happy life. I don't go crying about my physical flaws. I have great friends. I don't plot things against guys who dump me. I don't go out for revenge. I've had my own battles with hardships, but I learned to deal with them, and face them. And I never took it to the length you are. You just want to believe you are right. You want to feel validated for your hate. You despise anyone who wont validate your hate. You can't stand a strong woman. You want them to bow down to you. You think you magically deserve the best, but the problem is, is that you can't have the best while hating everything about the person you want to give you the best. And that person is a woman.
lordWilhelm Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 She's clearly already made up her mind, and I really don't see any good coming out of trying to spite her. You're just giving her confirmation she did the right thing. In fact, the best thing you can do right now is to let this go before it escalates any further and she calls the cops on you.
Vertex Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I lost my father to an accident a few years ago, cognac, and I can tell you right now, that if anyone -- drunk or sober -- gave me any sort of attitude with an air of "move on already/when will you come around," I would tell them off, drop them like a hot potato, and move on without looking back.
dreamergrl Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I lost my father to an accident a few years ago, cognac, and I can tell you right now, that if anyone -- drunk or sober -- gave me any sort of attitude with an air of "move on already/when will you come around," I would tell them off, drop them like a hot potato, and move on without looking back. Not the exact same, but I was pregnant and miscarried, I had a lot of grief for a long time. If anyone told me to get over it, I'd want to smack them.
Vertex Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Not the exact same, but I was pregnant and miscarried, I had a lot of grief for a long time. If anyone told me to get over it, I'd want to smack them. As a general rule it's always quite inconsiderate and selfish to discredit or attempt to invalidate someone's feelings for one's own benefit or utility.
dreamergrl Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 As a general rule it's always quite inconsiderate and selfish to discredit or attempt to invalidate someone's feelings for one's own benefit or utility. And you can't push someone to end their grief. It's a natural thing. You are right, it is very selfish to push that away from someone so you feel better. Buy apparently he thinks money and talking make it okay.
TheLoneSock Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Going off of the assumption that you're telling the truth, and you did in fact not say anything bad about the situation with her passing step-father... IMO she started losing her interest when: you didn't bang her, you told her she was perfect physically, and you expressed love. When a girl wants to have sex, you have sex with her. When a girl changes something about herself because she thinks it will make you happy, you say "Oh hey that looks great, much better than before." It makes her feel good but doesn't put her on a pedestal. And you always hold back on your expression of love. Never tell a girl something like that while she is with another guy. She went back to a guy who A) does bang her, B) doesn't think she's perfect, and C) probably doesn't let her know he loves her on a regular basis. In other words, she went back to the bad boy. What did we learn from this cognac?
Author cognac Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 (edited) Well there's good news and bad news. Bad news is I sent her a furious text with lots of rudeness in it at about 7 PM eastern time, telling her I never want to know anything about her again unless she has an amazing excuse. Good news 10 minutes later I got a text back. According to her, she was in another country to spend christmas and new years with her family there and just got home today and to calm down. My gut tells me she's telling me the truth, but my brain says there is a chance she is lying. She has yet to lie to me yet (that I know of) I have no reason not to trust her, the one or two times she has told me a lie, she confessed right after. An hour later after telling her how wrong it is to make me worry by just disappearing off the earth, she said "alright, i'm jet lagged, going to bed ttyl xoxo " at approximately 10 PM. What do you guys think? It's a very possible coincidence. And judging from other evidence her story may check out. I don't know what's going to come out of this, but I am relieved for the time being. I lost my father to an accident a few years ago, cognac, and I can tell you right now, that if anyone -- drunk or sober -- gave me any sort of attitude with an air of "move on already/when will you come around," I would tell them off, drop them like a hot potato, and move on without looking back. I agree completely Vertex. It's a good thing I didn't say anything remotely close to that. Dreamergrl is seriously, completely pulling all of that out of her ass. Here is the truth: when she was going through all these hard times I would call every other night to make sure she was alright. That night I was out partying and I got wasted, so I called her wasted. Her dad died either that day or before ( I don't remember), the message was all jumbled up but it was essentially telling her I was sorry for her loss and I was there for her until the end. But because my friends were all stoned and drunk in the next room watching freddy got fingered laughing their asses off, she thought they were all laughing at her (for whatevber reason). Going off of the assumption that you're telling the truth, and you did in fact not say anything bad about the situation with her passing step-father... IMO she started losing her interest when: you didn't bang her, you told her she was perfect physically, and you expressed love.[/Quote]She thanked me for not doing her, she said she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she did that. The girls has enough problems as it is, I don't want to add any more. I wouldn't like it if someone did that to my girlfriend, and while this other dude is a piece of crap, he's still a human being. 2) I always tread carefully about complimenting her looks. Whenever I give her a compliment it's about her personality or intelligence or humor, I don't want her to think she is too hot for me. But when she starts actually completely transforming herself I said something like "You're fine the way you are". The compliments about her looks are kept at a bare minimum "I think you're beautiful" I said once when she was getting really emotional about something, and she said "thanks it means so much to me". Trust me I'm not as clueless as you think . 3) She expressed love to me first, and I don't do it very often. When a girl wants to have sex, you have sex with her.[/Quote]Her body wanted to have sex with me, not her brain. When a girl changes something about herself because she thinks it will make you happy, you say "Oh hey that looks great, much better than before." It makes her feel good but doesn't put her on a pedestal.[/Quote]I honestly I did like her the way she was. Idon't think this puts her on a pedestal. One time she put on makeup and i said "there's something different about you you look so pretty today" and she replied "you only think I'm pretty when i wear makeup?" And you always hold back on your expression of love. Never tell a girl something like that while she is with another guy.[/Quote]She tells it to me. She went back to a guy who A) does bang her, B) doesn't think she's perfect, and C) probably doesn't let her know he loves her on a regular basis. In other words, she went back to the bad boy. What did we learn from this cognac?[/Quote]I actually think it's the other way around. IF anything, I'm the TRUE bad boy in the situation, by far. I did a lot of the things you're suggesting, but there IS a line. Sure , if I wanted to just bang her and leave I would follow your advice, but I sincerely enjoy her companionship and personality, the whole package. I want to be friends with her AND bang her at night, not be some antagonist constantly playing guessing games. Edited January 7, 2010 by cognac
tami-chan Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I haven't mustered up the courage to actually call her yet. I want to make sure she doesn't actually have a good reason for not talking to me before burning all the bridges. And this is why you can't get the women you want. You have no courage (balls?) and on top of that you are also dense...she does not want to talk to you-you are trying to entrap her into a situation where she has to talk to you. That is creepy behavior. UGH...stop! If I get the slightest hint she has picked the guy she was with over me then I will surely leave her that text message I haven't sent yet. I'm hoping her knucklehead boyfriend calls me after this in response to talk crap, then at that point I will inform him of all the things his sweet little girl has been up to Then I will throw down the smoke pellets and vanish, Joker style (since you guys think I'm a comic book villain) Yes, send that text....why wait? send it right now....sheesh....
meerkat stew Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 People get in touch with those they really care about over the holidays, no matter where they are, unless they are in a coma. You have spent so much energy on this woman, a small percentage of that is represented by all these posts and angst here. That energy could be spent much more productively in many other ways. It sounds like you have called "jihad" on this girl and are just not going to let things lie. Is that out of true feelings? or out of laziness at the prospect of spending time and effort moving forward and wanting to blindly cling to your anger here? When you cling to anger and get bitter, they win, and by "they" I mean all the morons you will have to deal with in life. If you had spent 50% of the time you have spent angsting over this woman out meeting new prospects, you would have forgotten this one by now. If you are just in love with this one, make a straight up play. Go to her and lay it out, spend the energy in makeup sex with her you would have spent sending nasty texts (provided she still wants to sleep with you). Sex > text any day if you want to get this woman back in the fold.
Author cognac Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 People get in touch with those they really care about over the holidays, no matter where they are, unless they are in a coma.[/Quote] She was in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere in europe. I personally don't really care about the holidays either. You have spent so much energy on this woman, a small percentage of that is represented by all these posts and angst here. That energy could be spent much more productively in many other ways. It sounds like you have called "jihad" on this girl and are just not going to let things lie. Is that out of true feelings? or out of laziness at the prospect of spending time and effort moving forward and wanting to blindly cling to your anger here? When you cling to anger and get bitter, they win, and by "they" I mean all the morons you will have to deal with in life.[/Quote] Read my newest post. It was all a big misunderstanding (as far as i know). If you had spent 50% of the time you have spent angsting over this woman out meeting new prospects, you would have forgotten this one by now. If you are just in love with this one, make a straight up play. Go to her and lay it out, spend the energy in makeup sex with her you would have spent sending nasty texts (provided she still wants to sleep with you). Sex > text any day if you want to get this woman back in the fold.[/Quote] I guess Im just a weirdo then . When I go out I see pretty girls sometimes, but I just can't push myself to actually muster up the energy to get them unless I know for sure they're worthwhile. 9 out of 10 times they have a boyfriend or are people I don't want to know. I would rather do all I can to make this work first, finding girls I can actually click with and get along with is hard for me, then when I know 100% for sure it won't work out, sure I'll be pissed at first about wasting time, but I'll take my odds as they are. Besides, I wouldn't even know where to start when meeting random women outside of trolling for sex at the local bar. Even if I had the opportunity, I can't "multi-date" , I prefer to be immersed in one person at a time. I'm a sensitive guy and prefer deep connections with one person over 1000 superficial dates with 1000 very hot women. May sound like a weenie admitting that but it's just me.
meerkat stew Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 She was in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere in europe. I personally don't really care about the holidays either. Fair enough, I'm old and it colors my experience. Besides, I wouldn't even know where to start when meeting random women outside of trolling for sex at the local bar. Even if I had the opportunity, I can't "multi-date" , I prefer to be immersed in one person at a time. I'm a sensitive guy and prefer deep connections with one person over 1000 superficial dates with 1000 very hot women. May sound like a weenie admitting that but it's just me. Man you shouldn't have told me you only meet five women a year, cause I'm gonna keep harping on that. Also told you a plan to meet more women. No one is arm-twisting you to multidate, just ask more women out. It's not weenie-ville, just make sure you are not making excuses to justify the status quo as opposed to putting in the effort to move forward and work on your skills. When I was your age, I had such a streak of women ****ting all over me that it would have turned most men into a monk. I sulked about it and raged about it, but that was done, I realized it was time for a change, those changes were hard, but after putting in the sweat equity, never had to go through that again. Have been brutalized by women on occasion since, you can't help some of that, but it just doesn't sting any more because I know the next one is just around the corner as soon as I put my skills in play. It's like riding a bike also, once you have it, you always have it.
PinkToes Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 WTF?? I thought Woogle had the only decent woman in the world. You obviously don't know her as well as you thought, if she hasn't shown her true colors yet. Be careful; odds are she's just gonna screw you over again.
Author cognac Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 Man you shouldn't have told me you only meet five women a year, cause I'm gonna keep harping on that. Also told you a plan to meet more women. No one is arm-twisting you to multidate, just ask more women out. It's not weenie-ville, just make sure you are not making excuses to justify the status quo as opposed to putting in the effort to move forward and work on your skills.[/Quote] Heh, I hear you man. It's just that a lot of times I'm just exhausted from all the other stuff going on in my life and just don't feel with talking to people who are not very friendly (such as a large portion of women). I remember in college last year I asked a girl for a light because I forgot my lighter at home , and she snapped at me like I asked her to give me her first born! I called her a cunt and walked away of course, but its still hard to find girls who are friendly and open ya know. When I was your age, I had such a streak of women ****ting all over me that it would have turned most men into a monk. I sulked about it and raged about it, but that was done, I realized it was time for a change, those changes were hard, but after putting in the sweat equity, never had to go through that again. Have been brutalized by women on occasion since, you can't help some of that, but it just doesn't sting any more because I know the next one is just around the corner as soon as I put my skills in play. It's like riding a bike also, once you have it, you always have it.[/Quote] What kind of changes meerkat? I'm pretty interested. I've read through all the game/pick up artist stuff, and a lot of it is great advice, but another large amount is just so damned cheesy and not something I'm comfortable. The stuff like wearing those big fuzzy top hats and eyeliner, i'd feel like a douchebag in that stuff . WTF?? I thought Woogle had the only decent woman in the world. You obviously don't know her as well as you thought, if she hasn't shown her true colors yet. Be careful; odds are she's just gonna screw you over again.[/Quote] I don't understand this post pinky.
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