New Again Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I found this girl who dropped off the face of the earth's phone numeber in one of my old emails today. (I lost it due to my phone breaking) My question is this, what do you think about giving her a call? She had AIM on her phone 24 hours a day for the past month , but today she finally logged off and hasn't been online (she has ignored or not received my AIM texts to her by the way). I'm not going to call her all whiney "WHHYYYYY" , I'm just going to call her and tell her if she wants me out of her life, to say so, rather than just dropping off the face of the earth after telling me she is in love with me. Does this sound reasonable? No, it doesn't sound reasonable. Also, I'm pretty sure she blocked you on AIM (you keep sending her AIM texts, she ignores you, then finally just "logs of"?)... Obviously she doesn't want to talk to you.
dreamergrl Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 No, it doesn't sound reasonable. Also, I'm pretty sure she blocked you on AIM (you keep sending her AIM texts, she ignores you, then finally just "logs of"?)... Obviously she doesn't want to talk to you. If this is the girl he left nasty drunken messages about her dad dying, can you blame her?
DustySaltus Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 If this is the girl he left nasty drunken messages about her dad dying, can you blame her? wait, i didn't know this
kiss_andmakeup Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Maybe I will give you my perspective as I have done this to a guy once before - and keep in mind I don't know your whole story - but when I essentially started ignoring this guy it was because he was getting creepy, stalkery, texting me constantly, always asking me where I was, what I was doing, wanting to talk about our "future" together... ...after two dates. It's also worth noting that this was a couple of years ago and I was immature and handled it poorly...but my reasoning at the time was "well, I barely know him and he's giving me the heebie-jeebies so I'll just ignore him." It was passive-aggressive, immature, and non-confrontational, but that's what I did. SO, assuming this girl is probably also immature, passive-aggressive, and non-confrontational...she will do exactly what I did when this guy tried to contact me or left me voicemails...ignore and delete. Seriously...it's totally pointless. But you're going to do it anyways.
dreamergrl Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 wait, i didn't know this Puts a different perspective on things doesn't it? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t210180/
Vertex Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Wow. After going through that thread, that poor girl was basically going through a really hard time in her life as a result of her father dying, and then cognac said something stupidly insensitive about it to her in a drunken stupor, terribly upset her, then tried to berate her for her behavior after the fact. He was more concerned with "when she'd get over it all and come around" instead of caring about her obviously hurt feelings. His posts reek of hatred for women, as he has a history of treating them like some sort of disposable toys that exist to merely follow men instead of realizing that they are thinking, feeling human beings deserving of respect and love. His actions are emotionally abusive -- he won't leave the poor girl alone, who has clearly stood up for herself and told cognac that she's not going to put up with his obviously self-centered, disrespecting ways. Apparently, to cognac, this sort of action is unacceptable. "Do I have a right to an explanation?" Absolutely the hell not -- isn't her justification obvious? Anyone with a functioning brain can see why she isn't interested in communicating with you in any fashion. The only thing you've earned a right to is a swift kick in the nads for tarnishing everything that a true man stands up for.
DustySaltus Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Puts a different perspective on things doesn't it? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t210180/ So between the drunk text and the ex bf, I think it's easy to understand why she might have fell off the face of the earth at this point. Cognac, I would just leave it alone.
Author cognac Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 Sent her two text messages today: "Found ur number on my pc. I just want to say if you want me out of your life just say so, I'm a big boy and I won't care, but this disappearing stuff is real baby ****. Fickle Slut" This is the one I'll send next: "PS, I'm not angry about what you did to me. Despite not just leading me on, and even spending a good amount of your time convincing me to let you lead me on, it's still not your fault but mine. It was my fault for passing up all the opportunities for sex I had because you had a boyfriend, you've got some nerve, you're a plain jane flat chested ginger and you act like you're carrie bradshaw. " -This one should nuke her self-esteem , I'm saving it for when I know for sure she doesn't have a good excuse for ignoring me.
Author cognac Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 Dreamergrl is full of self-righteous crap don't listen to her. That issue was already resolved when it came to light that I did not do anything wrong or say anything about her dad. She admitted it and said she was just taking out her own personal anger on me. Maybe I will give you my perspective as I have done this to a guy once before - and keep in mind I don't know your whole story - but when I essentially started ignoring this guy it was because he was getting creepy, stalkery, texting me constantly, always asking me where I was, what I was doing, wanting to talk about our "future" together... ...after two dates. It's also worth noting that this was a couple of years ago and I was immature and handled it poorly...but my reasoning at the time was "well, I barely know him and he's giving me the heebie-jeebies so I'll just ignore him." It was passive-aggressive, immature, and non-confrontational, but that's what I did. SO, assuming this girl is probably also immature, passive-aggressive, and non-confrontational...she will do exactly what I did when this guy tried to contact me or left me voicemails...ignore and delete. Seriously...it's totally pointless. But you're going to do it anyways.[/Quote]This is not at all what happened with us. In my case, she chased and pursued me, I even warned her to stay away from me because I didn't want anything to do with her. But she won me over after enough time. I never texted her that often, never swamped her with attention, she was essentially more like a friend who the future would be a girlfriend rather than anything like someone I'm dating.
thegreatmoose Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Puts a different perspective on things doesn't it? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t210180/ It sure does.
Angel1111 Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I think I'm confused. Do you think maybe she's mad at you when you lost her number and never called her? Or did she fall off the face of the earth before that? Maybe there's some mixed messages going on.
Vertex Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 You're horribly disrespectful to women, and I truly hope you seek some help. You're never going to have a healthy relationship with your type of mindset.
dreamergrl Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Cognac, you are angry at women in general. Your posts always reflect on it. That thread says it all why this girl does not want to speak to you. I am sure the things you said about her in that thread speaks volumes to her IRL. That much hatred can't be concealed. You need to learn to treat women with respect, instead of demanding respect regardless of how nasty you are towards women. It's not your height that gives you problems, it's your attitude, and IF you ever realize that, you might have a good relationship someday.
Johnny M Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Puts a different perspective on things doesn't it? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t210180/ Wow....it sure does.
ordinary_girl Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Sent her two text messages today: "Found ur number on my pc. I just want to say if you want me out of your life just say so, I'm a big boy and I won't care, but this disappearing stuff is real baby ****. Fickle Slut" This is the one I'll send next: "PS, I'm not angry about what you did to me. Despite not just leading me on, and even spending a good amount of your time convincing me to let you lead me on, it's still not your fault but mine. It was my fault for passing up all the opportunities for sex I had because you had a boyfriend, you've got some nerve, you're a plain jane flat chested ginger and you act like you're carrie bradshaw. " -This one should nuke her self-esteem , I'm saving it for when I know for sure she doesn't have a good excuse for ignoring me. I think you need to seek professional help. seriously. I don't think you can recover from this state of mind by yourself
Author cognac Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 I think I'm confused. Do you think maybe she's mad at you when you lost her number and never called her? Or did she fall off the face of the earth before that? Maybe there's some mixed messages going on. What happened is that after she told me she loved me. I decided to give her some space for a few days without contacting her, to see if she would contact me first . During this period my phone broke and I lost all of my phone numbers, so I sent her an I.M. to her phone (She doesn't use her computer at all) asking for her number back. Nothing. No response. IMed her 1 or 2 times a week since then, (trying to see if I get a response but not too desperate), no response. She might be really busy (she sometimes gets that way). She might not have gotten the IM's. But the probability is that she was just using me (for reasons I don't know since I am almost 100% sure she's probably hurting more than me judging from how she would act when I got mad) or still loves me but chooses her boyfriends money over my person. You're horribly disrespectful to women, and I truly hope you seek some help. You're never going to have a healthy relationship with your type of mindset.[/Quote] Thanks vertex I'm so disrespectful towards women, that when this girl's body was essentially begging me to put it in her pie one night in her car, I refused because I knew she was still with her boyfriend. Now I regret it. Vertex, I am going to send her that "disrespectful" text soon, because what she did to me was far worse than some disrespect, far more bruising to my dignity and heart. While she probably has no heart, I know all women have ego's and princess complex, by telling her the truth about her looks (the fact that she has all these guys in her life is shocking to me considering how average she is) I will be doing as much damage to her as she did by playing games with my feelings.
Author cognac Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 Can the feminist screaming girls (and fairy men) club get back on topic or leave my thread? IF you want to talk about that incident, post in that thread. I already cleared up that this girl took the whole thing out of context and tricked me into believing I had actually done something wrong, she admitted this about a month ago. She did something similar to one of her female friends as well. I think dreamergrl just doesn't like me, and that's her right, but please stop trolling me. All the shrieks of "SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP" make me laugh, a girl lies to me and manipulates me for 6 months, and I'm the one who needs help I really dislike this feminized society where men are to blame for everything.
Angel1111 Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 What happened is that after she told me she loved me. I decided to give her some space for a few days without contacting her, to see if she would contact me first . During this period my phone broke and I lost all of my phone numbers, so I sent her an I.M. to her phone (She doesn't use her computer at all) asking for her number back. Nothing. No response. IMed her 1 or 2 times a week since then, (trying to see if I get a response but not too desperate), no response. That was really bad timing with losing your phone. I think she interpreted your silence to mean that her 'i love you' freaked you out. It's going to be really hard to backpeddle on this one, and to sell the 'i lost my phone' story. Maybe it's worth a shot, though.
dreamergrl Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Thanks vertex I'm so disrespectful towards women, that when this girl's body was essentially begging me to put it in her pie one night in her car, I refused because I knew she was still with her boyfriend. Now I regret it. If you had respect for women, you would not regret this because she wont give you the time of day. You would not have done that to her while she was grieving. If you respected her, you would have let her go when she asked you too. Vertex, I am going to send her that "disrespectful" text soon, because what she did to me was far worse than some disrespect, far more bruising to my dignity and heart. While she probably has no heart, I know all women have ego's and princess complex, by telling her the truth about her looks (the fact that she has all these guys in her life is shocking to me considering how average she is) I will be doing as much damage to her as she did by playing games with my feelings.The sad part is you don't realize you wont be doing anything to her. She doesn't feel bad for moving on. She didn't and doesn't want to be with you because of your hateful attitude. There will be no damage done, unless you do something psychotic, which I really hope you don't. You go on and on about how she's not worth anything you, how average she is... but yet you are so angry that she dumped you. And she dumped you because you treated her poorly. Maybe she is an average kind of girl, so what. She obviously had enough self worth to realize she can do better, and she did. Oh... and btw... it is still on topic, because it's the girl in question. She dumped you because you treated her bad, so why should she owe you any type of explanation?
Author cognac Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 The sad part is you don't realize you wont be doing anything to her. She doesn't feel bad for moving on. She didn't and doesn't want to be with you because of your hateful attitude. There will be no damage done, unless you do something psychotic, which I really hope you don't.[/Quote] I would disagree, with the bond we had (now I know you will say, "you had no bond") I find it really difficult to believe. One time she asked me what my favorite hair color was , i said, I didn't really care, I liked her the way she was. But she said "IF YOU HAD TO PICK COME ON" and I just said brunettes over blondes to stop her from pestering me, low and behold the next day she had brown hair! I was furious about this and told her why she was changing herself and she said "I want to look perfect for you" despite reassuring her she was perfect, her brain was her best trait. So even today, Im sure she values my opinion on her appearance to some extent. You go on and on about how she's not worth anything you, how average she is... but yet you are so angry that she dumped you. And she dumped you because you treated her poorly.[/Quote] Yes I treat her poorly, despite her boyfriend constantly cheating on her and disappearing on the weekends. Get real Maybe she is an average kind of girl, so what. She obviously had enough self worth to realize she can do better, and she did. [/Quote] Yes, she did better, with a 30 year old who dresses like a teenager, cheats on her, and sells pot in his spare time Oh... and btw... it is still on topic, because it's the girl in question. She dumped you because you treated her bad, so why should she owe you any type of explanation?[/Quote] Because it wasn't over that. She came back and confessed I did nothing wrong. I won't repeat myself again dreamgrl, stop trolling me.
DustySaltus Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Sent her two text messages today: "Found ur number on my pc. I just want to say if you want me out of your life just say so, I'm a big boy and I won't care, but this disappearing stuff is real baby ****. Fickle Slut" This is the one I'll send next: "PS, I'm not angry about what you did to me. Despite not just leading me on, and even spending a good amount of your time convincing me to let you lead me on, it's still not your fault but mine. It was my fault for passing up all the opportunities for sex I had because you had a boyfriend, you've got some nerve, you're a plain jane flat chested ginger and you act like you're carrie bradshaw. " -This one should nuke her self-esteem , I'm saving it for when I know for sure she doesn't have a good excuse for ignoring me. Yeah, that will help her get over her step-father's passing. It just seems that what's left of this "relationship" is beyond repair. I don't think this about men or women or "fairys" at this point. It's just a matter of right and wrong.
Vertex Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 cognac I get the impression that you've got some kind of weird misogynistic power complex going on here. Despite what you claim, you seem to be really into headgames. Whenever a woman decides not to play along, you say THEY'RE the ones at fault. This woman told you straight-up to back off because *you* screwed up and seem to be unable to feel any true remorse for it. You'll "say" that you're sorry, but only to try to change someone's behavior. Now you're absolving yourself of guilt because you apparently can't remember exactly what you said? Just going by the way you speak on these forums, I can only imagine what you say when drunk. Instead of respecting her wishes you try to diminish self-esteem and guilt-trip. The only reason you find this woman "average" is because she's strong enough to stand up to you, and you can't stand the fact that you can't control people. For someone who thinks so little of her, you sure do seem riled up over the whole thing. Whenever you lack control, you throw tantrums like a little child and assume that you're certainly not the one to blame. It's quite obvious why she doesn't want to talk to you. No woman wants to put up with that kind of abuse unless they're completely devoid of self-respect, which is apparently what you want in a woman.
dreamergrl Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Sent her two text messages today: "Found ur number on my pc. I just want to say if you want me out of your life just say so, I'm a big boy and I won't care, but this disappearing stuff is real baby ****. Fickle Slut" But you do care or else you wouldn't be going to such drastic measures to make her feel bad. You hurt yourself by treating her bad, because you lost her. Your threads are proof. Calling her names and degrading her? All she will do is laugh in your face because you are acting immature, and quite frankly a bit psycho. This is the one I'll send next: "PS, I'm not angry about what you did to me. Despite not just leading me on, and even spending a good amount of your time convincing me to let you lead me on, it's still not your fault but mine. It was my fault for passing up all the opportunities for sex I had because you had a boyfriend, you've got some nerve, you're a plain jane flat chested ginger and you act like you're carrie bradshaw. " -This one should nuke her self-esteem , I'm saving it for when I know for sure she doesn't have a good excuse for ignoring me.Yeah... I'm sure she'll believe you aren't angry You know Alpha's whack job psycho that wont leave him alone....
Author cognac Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 (edited) cognac I get the impression that you've got some kind of weird misogynistic power complex going on here. Despite what you claim, you seem to be really into headgames. Whenever a woman decides not to play along, you say THEY'RE the ones at fault. This woman told you straight-up to back off because *you* screwed up and seem to be unable to feel any true remorse for it. You'll "say" that you're sorry, but only to try to change someone's behavior. Now you're absolving yourself of guilt because you apparently can't remember exactly what you said? Just going by the way you speak on these forums, I can only imagine what you say when drunk. Instead of respecting her wishes you try to diminish self-esteem and guilt-trip. The only reason you find this woman "average" is because she's strong enough to stand up to you, and you can't stand the fact that you can't control people. For someone who thinks so little of her, you sure do seem riled up over the whole thing. Whenever you lack control, you throw tantrums like a little child and assume that you're certainly not the one to blame. It's quite obvious why she doesn't want to talk to you. No woman wants to put up with that kind of abuse unless they're completely devoid of self-respect, which is apparently what you want in a woman. Yeah I'm so evil and I'm so bad. I didn't say anything bad to her when drunk (we listened to the message together and she admitted she overreacted and it wasn't anything bad). EVIL things I've done to her: Offered to take care of her when she was sick with some super contagious virus that made her boyfriend pack up his stuff and move out leaving her puking and fever ridden alone. Offered to let her "borrow" ( I was just going to give it to her) a thousand dollars when she lost her job after I ran into some money recently. Offered to do whatever needed when her father died, from talking to her to accompanying her wherever she wanted to go. Brightened up her day with my humor, wisdom and interesting conversation that even she said she had never had before meeting me. Sure I've got some flaws, but my good traits far outbalance them. I give (whether its love, compassion, money, or whatever) until it hurts, even she said so before dropping off the face of the earth about how i am the "complete package" (and no, there was no "but"). Cut me some friggin slack, some of you are acting like I'm one of the plaid shirt villains from those Brink's Home Security commercials. Edited January 6, 2010 by cognac
Crazy Magnet Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 As for the OP....nope. Don't contact her. You will be the punch line of many jokes in her future if you do. But as I see you have already sent her a text, she's probably already laughing and forwarding it to her friends. Bad idea all the way around.
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