cognac Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I found this girl who dropped off the face of the earth's phone numeber in one of my old emails today. (I lost it due to my phone breaking) My question is this, what do you think about giving her a call? She had AIM on her phone 24 hours a day for the past month , but today she finally logged off and hasn't been online (she has ignored or not received my AIM texts to her by the way). I'm not going to call her all whiney "WHHYYYYY" , I'm just going to call her and tell her if she wants me out of her life, to say so, rather than just dropping off the face of the earth after telling me she is in love with me. Does this sound reasonable?
burning 4 revenge Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Not really to be honest Obviously you have a lot of rage now and its great. Youre so alive and you dont even know it Think about ways to turn that rage into something productive You can call her and make a fool of yourself if you thinks its oh so important but it wont change anything
Johnny M Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I'm not going to call her all whiney "WHHYYYYY" , I'm just going to call her and tell her if she wants me out of her life, to say so, rather than just dropping off the face of the earth after telling me she is in love with me. Does this sound reasonable? No, it doesn't sound reasonable. Why give her the ego boost? If she has disappeared off the face of the earth, it's already patently clear that she's not interested in you. Move on without any drama.
Author cognac Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 Honestly I also want to see if she is alright. I also want to hear her voice one last time My plan is to say "hey, if you don't want me in your life anymore, that's fine with me, but making me worry about you like you have with this cold shoulder business will guarantee you a spot in hell" *hangs up* Obviously you have a lot of rage now and its great. Youre so alive and you dont even know it[/Quote] I don't even feel rage at this point. I did at first, but now I feel the opposite of alive. Wouldn't you feel really bad and guilty about leading someone on, making them worry about you, etc for no good reason? Or are women less sensitive about this? My goal is to not be whiney or rageful , just normal tone of voice and say tell her what she did is not right.
boogieboy Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 She found someone else and hasnt thought about you since she stopped contacting you. She probably wouldnt remember who you are. You already know she doesnt want to hear from you, put your energy into finding a new girl to stalk instead of her. And no, you already know that this isnt reasonable, but youre going to call her anyway arent you?
Author cognac Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 She found someone else and hasnt thought about you since she stopped contacting you. She probably wouldnt remember who you are. You already know she doesnt want to hear from you, put your energy into finding a new girl to stalk instead of her. [/Quote] I wouldn't go that far, but it's possible she chose her boyfriend over me. Despite talking about how much she hated him and loved me. And no, you already know that this isnt reasonable, but youre going to call her anyway arent you? Probably. I would rather know the truth than not know anything at all . Atleast if she tells me anything at all saying she's sure she doesn't want me in her life I can finally have peace and move on. But not knowing at all just leaves the wound open.
CrestfallenNoMore Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 If your goal is not to appear "whiny" or "rageful" telling her that she is guaranteed a "spot in hell" and then hanging up on her is pretty much the opposite of that.
deux ex machina Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 ...I don't even feel rage at this point. I did at first, but now I feel the opposite of alive. Wouldn't you feel really bad and guilty about leading someone on, making them worry about you, etc for no good reason? I wouldn't lead someone on in any case. But if I'm that indifferent? I wouldn't consider it my problem. And I wouldn't appreciate you trying to make it mine. Or are women less sensitive about this? I'm sensitive to it. I'd be as gentle as I could. I'm getting the feeling she's less thoughtful, though. Wish you wouldn't do it. Keep your dignity intact.
Johnny M Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Honestly I also want to see if she is alright. I also want to hear her voice one last time My plan is to say "hey, if you don't want me in your life anymore, that's fine with me, but making me worry about you like you have with this cold shoulder business will guarantee you a spot in hell" *hangs up* Stop being such a sentimental 'nice guy'. No offense, but this is rather pathetic. She can't be bothered to reply to your texts and you're worried if she's alright? Seriously? Wouldn't you feel really bad and guilty about leading someone on, making them worry about you, etc for no good reason? Or are women less sensitive about this? My goal is to not be whiney or rageful , just normal tone of voice and say tell her what she did is not right. And what do you think that would accomplish? A change of heart on her part? A feeling of shame....regret? I doubt it. More likely, she would call up her friends and tell them what a douchebag/creep you are.
Author cognac Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 Stop being such a sentimental 'nice guy'. No offense, but this is rather pathetic. She can't be bothered to reply to your texts and you're worried if she's alright? Seriously? [/Quote] She's got a lot of stuff going on in her life right now that would make anyone act weird. I don't think it's solely about me but I've got to suffer for it anyway. I've personally never been as close to a girl as to this one, if you liked her like I did you'd understand how hopelessly in love with her i am. And what do you think that would accomplish? A change of heart on her part?[/Quote] Maybe if she starts to talk to me, yes. A feeling of shame....regret?[/Quote] At the very least, she is a very sensitive person . She would feel regret or shame for the littlest things. I doubt it. More likely, she would call up her friends and tell them what a douchebag/creep you are.[/Quote] Who cares? I don't know her friends and never will. If anything ,she is the creep, she almost brainwashed me into giving her a shot, and was borderline stalking me for a while by calling me all the time and getting all worked up if i forgot to text her or something. I wouldn't lead someone on in any case. But if I'm that indifferent? I wouldn't consider it my problem. And I wouldn't appreciate you trying to make it mine. [/Quote] I atleast want to be annoying one last time. No matter how cruel a person is, everyone's got a conscience. I'm sensitive to it. I'd be as gentle as I could. I'm getting the feeling she's less thoughtful, though. Wish you wouldn't do it. Keep your dignity intact. [/Quote] By feeling the way I do, I've pretty much got no dignity anymore. Might as well do something , if it makes me feel better, no? Honestly, some of you guys are making good arguments, but does anyone have advice for me if I do call her?
CaliGuy Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Do what you've got to do. Just know you're not going to feel better if you talk to her. I mean, if she really wanted to talk to you, she knows how to find you. And you weren't the one to walk away, she was. She should be the one to initiate contact with you.
boogieboy Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Probably. I would rather know the truth than not know anything at all . Atleast if she tells me anything at all saying she's sure she doesn't want me in her life I can finally have peace and move on. But not knowing at all just leaves the wound open. Shes not going to tell you the truth. Shes going to either ignore you, or leave you thinking you still have a chance, so you can keep contacting her. Dont call her so she can play with you.
meerkat stew Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Don't do it, let her go, especially if she is ignoring texts. Spend the time and energy finding another option instead.
dreamergrl Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Is this the same girl you got nasty with when her dad died?
TheBigQuestion Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I'm going to contradict everyone here and agree with you (which honestly is a rarity for me). I recommend you sound confrontational and pissed off rather than concerned or whiny. People who **** with you the way she did deserve to be called out. You spent enough time with her to know what her sore spots are. Be sure to touch on those. This will possibly provide you some closure, as long as you're 100% clear that you think what she did was wrong and that you're not interested in seeing her again. If you're trying to sneak your way back into her life in any way shape or form, don't call her.
skydiveaddict Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I'm not going to call her all whiney "WHHYYYYY" , I'm just going to call her and tell her if she wants me out of her life, to say so, rather than just dropping off the face of the earth after telling me she is in love with me. Does this sound reasonable? dont waste you time, my friend. that fact is she's not interested anymore. Even if if you ask "why" you will not get a straight answer.
betamanlet Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Honestly I also want to see if she is alright. I also want to hear her voice one last time My plan is to say "hey, if you don't want me in your life anymore, that's fine with me, but making me worry about you like you have with this cold shoulder business will guarantee you a spot in hell" *hangs up* I don't even feel rage at this point. I did at first, but now I feel the opposite of alive. Wouldn't you feel really bad and guilty about leading someone on, making them worry about you, etc for no good reason? Or are women less sensitive about this? My goal is to not be whiney or rageful , just normal tone of voice and say tell her what she did is not right. she's with someone else. just let it go. Don't even think of calling her. She obviously doesn't care about you, or how you are, so don't care about how she is.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 If you are sincerely worried about her and she is dead you couldnt help her anyways In fact just assume shes dead because death is easier than rejection
burning 4 revenge Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 She's got a lot of stuff going on in her life right now that would make anyone act weird Yes, theyre called penises
Vertex Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Do what you've got to do. Just know you're not going to feel better if you talk to her. I mean, if she really wanted to talk to you, she knows how to find you. And you weren't the one to walk away, she was. She should be the one to initiate contact with you. I second this advice.
Krazysweet Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 im thinking maybe she doesnt check it as often anymore it happens dont freak out yet give it time n if she never replies just see it as ok whatever it happens n if she does it might be ment to be but DONT send another msg. trust me whatever it is ull find out n ull know what to say then. for example if she msgs u o sry i havent checked my email in blah blah..thats acceptable but if u get a msg saying sry my bf wouldnt let me get on or something like that then u will know she is not worth it!!!! you deserve better n u have no reason to subcome to 1 person unless they deserve it! if it makes u feel better tho think if shes being a b**** karma will get her two-if not 3 times worse =D hope i made u feel better.
New_Life08 Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Emotions like this play tricks on our ability to reason. I have been there, and probably everyone has a time or two. The trick is denial. Justifying that perhaps the person did not receive multiple messages we've sent, or that there was some other road block that has kept them from corresponding. It just isn't so. If this were the case the other person would have found a way to communicate. It is painful and rude how a person can pop into our lives professing undying love and then pop out as if nothing happened. The answers your looking for are not going to be found. Even if you did talk to her, she is not going to tell you anything that will validate what happened. In fact it will probably leave you with more questions and confusion. I know it is hard, but you have to let it go and chalk it up to another game player you shouldn't have trusted.
DustySaltus Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Hate to say it Cognac, you were a rebound. She has blocked you from aim. I assure you she is perfectly fine. But seriously **** her. She dropped you like a hot potato. She shouldn't get the courtesy of a phone call either way. The word "LOVE" gets thrown around so much these days it almost doesn't mean anything anymore. It is shown through ACTIONS. What have her actions shown? They've shown that she has this idea that their are interchangable parts in her life that she can use to make herself feel better. She made you one of the parts. It's a mistake to call her.
TheLoneSock Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Not really to be honest Obviously you have a lot of rage now and its great. Youre so alive and you dont even know it Think about ways to turn that rage into something productive You can call her and make a fool of yourself if you thinks its oh so important but it wont change anything Yeah, I agree with this. Use your anger in the gym and on the running track. Oh, and delete her number again, along with that email.
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