drew86 Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I've been hitting the gym daily and I'm just starting my next semester at school. I don't have any true friends here like I do back home, which is tough. For me the worst part is at night. I have nothing really to do and it's hard to concentrate on even simple things like reading... My mind wanders too much... I saw this today too and it really bummed me out. (The writing in the sun says "I've been thinking about you too much"...)
Howitzer Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 It's hard when you don't have true friends around. I didn't have many friends around either when my break up happened, but I told a few acquaintances about what happened, and they opened up to me. I guess showing vulnerability makes people trust you more? Either way, it wouldn't hurt to tell people around you what happened. Just make sure you don't lean on them too much since you don't know them well. Best of luck man. Night's are the worst for me too. That, and waking up.
DenverBachelor Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 The best thing to do is to stop fighting the loneliness and embrace it. You need to always be yourself first and foremost before any supplemental relationship. We came into the world by ourselves and will leave by ourselves. Everything in between is transitory because everything we experience, think and feel is for us to grow as individuals. Tough, but if you can embrace your own existence to the point of not needing another, then you're well on your way to having fulfilling relationships.
Author drew86 Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 You guys always have good advice, thank you. I've talked to a couple acquaintances about it and I really agree with what you're saying, Howitzer. It's so refreshing when somebody who barely knows you can be so supportive. I suppose you're right too DB; when my first long-term girlfriend broke up with me it took me a long, long time to get back to being comfortable with being alone again. Shortly after I was, I met my current ex. I'm sure this time it won't take as long for me to get back to being ok with being on my own. Thanks for the support
adamt Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I worked away from my home town during the week so i would have been speaking to my ex on msn on evenings. turning on my computer when i got home from work was always the first thing i would do.When we split up that left a big whole and i couldnt handle coming home from work and not speakign to her on msn. so i got in the routine of goign to the gym each night. get in from work at 6pm. eat pre-gym, watch a bit of tv. go to the gym/swim at 7pm, come back at 9pm. cook and eat again. 10pm-midnight watch tv and surf the internet. i still sometimes struggle to spend an evening at home in these dark nights. sometimes i just have to get out. if i felt lonely i would just ring up some friends. i've also bought a ps3 and a few games. so got dvds and bluray disks to get through. got the soprano boxset. i cant stay in at home for a full day now 8 months on it is a lot better but somedays i have bad moments when i wish the whole thing would go away.
DenverBachelor Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 (edited) I suppose you're right too DB; when my first long-term girlfriend broke up with me it took me a long, long time to get back to being comfortable with being alone again. Shortly after I was, I met my current ex. I'm sure this time it won't take as long for me to get back to being ok with being on my own. Thanks for the support The expression, "throw caution to the wind" is very similar to just going outside on the corner of the city and screaming, "FREEEEDOM!!!" I know it's a bit tough now and sometimes we forget about our previous breakups and how we survived those. You're a free man. Hit some bars, meet some women and just have a good time. Sometimes in life God throws us on a new path unexpectedly. You don't have to trash the memories, but don't dwell on them either. Just go out and BE YOU and socialize. Talk to every chick you meet. Have a good time. You'll get through this. This too will pass. Whatever metaphor you want to use, use it. You're not a bad person or undesirable person simply because someone left you. They'll go down their path -- you'll go down yours. Don't wish them ill-will. Don't hate. Don't let raw emotions consume you. Just go out and have fun and realize that your life path is so much wider than you realize. You'll give your heart out again -- over and over. Don't let a failed relationship make you jaded. Don't let the pain and heartache leave you as a hitchhiker on your own path. You don't need to hitch hike. You just keep walking, loving and exploring. Life is this -- infinite diversity in infinite combinations. Embrace the strong memories and cherish them. Keep on walking, though. Don't get stuck on the path trying to find something that isn't there any more. Just keep fighting and keep loving. You have to love. The heart is too big not to love. You have to realize that you'll always be you through this breakup and future ones. Keep perspective and live in the moment. Don't dwell on future plans. The future contains too many paths. Just live in the moment and embrace the experiences and grow from them. Again, keep perspective and embrace the infinite diversity that's possible to you. You can walk down any path. You can share paths. Some people walk away down their own path. Just wave them goodbye, smile and lock up the experiences in your heart. Keep walking and loving. Edited January 6, 2010 by DenverBachelor
bluestraps Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 All very true, but sometimes a break is'nt a you just you go your way and i'll go mine. Sometimes its got alot of drama and hurt and emotional disaster involved. May want to think about, this if its just lonliness it may not have really been love.
Author drew86 Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 Yeah, I will definitely be taking my time to think through it. The more I do, I realize she really wasn't right for me. I think I'm more upset that I was used the way I was... From day one she had another guy lined up and told me everything I wanted to hear so I would stick around and help her be ok with breaking up... So yeah, maybe I don't love her anymore? I am really lonely though. I really miss how happy we were. I think I'll be ok
Author drew86 Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 Fixed that for you. Haha you are right, I know I will. Had a much better day today already, the worlds a big place with a LOT of great people
sugarmomma Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I don't suffer with loneliness as long as I don't abandon myself. what I mean by that is as long as I love me and take care of me mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Self acceptance is key and happiness really is a CHOICE.
Recommended Posts