travelbug Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 So I need help decoding my ex's text messages... He broke off our 9 year relationship 4 months ago. Our contact has been a mix of calls, text messages, and emails--about equally initiated by both of us. Contact seems to occur about once every couple weeks. This morning he texts me to say he just saw a movie that reminds him of me and some of the places we travelled together and then says I should check it out. I've gotten about 3 or 4 other messages like this since the break (about once a month). He's obviously thinking about me. And the fact that he's sending me these things says he's missing me. Could it be more than that? Why would he text me just to say (in an obscure way) that he is missing me? Do you suppose he's trying to see if I am missing him by how I respond? Or am I reading into something that isn't there? Anyone else have an ex out there doing this kind of thing?
sheithappens Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 he might be testing the waters, nine years is a long time to develop a love bond with someone, and it is kinda hard to forget about, is he seeing someone right now? if so, he might be regretting the decision or he might be wanting to have his cake and eat it as well....
DenverBachelor Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 he might be testing the waters, nine years is a long time to develop a love bond with someone, and it is kinda hard to forget about, is he seeing someone right now? if so, he might be regretting the decision or he might be wanting to have his cake and eat it as well.... Nobody shares a relationship with someone else for years and just writes it off. They may push it into the recesses of their mind or find another person as an emotional aspirin (thank you Sean1970), but in the end, it is impossible to let go of that much history without having that relationship make some major impact on your life. But I wouldn't read into the texts. Focus on yourself and your goals. There are better fish in the great sea we call life.
hopesndreams Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 He sends those kind of messages now and again because he doesn't want you to hate him. He is also doing it because he wants you to think about him and miss him. If he wanted back with you, he would let you know. Anything else is just an ego stroke for him. Don't feed his ego anymore. Don't respond. Don't initiate contact either. You need to get on with your life.
sheithappens Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 the post up top is right, ignore him for awhile and he WILL miss you simply at the fact that you guys were together for so long..... also YES there are a lot of fish in the sea, but honestly i am pretty sure you have been out of the dating game for 9 years that its going to be hard to pick up where you left off, give yourself sometime, but also if you want him back , whats to stop you from trying behind the scenes... I am not saying to go throw yourself at him, but by being hot and cold might work, or a little bit different because he know how you think and act...... GOOD LUCK
sheithappens Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 denver, you made a good point about the emotional aspirin thing, never really thought about it like that .....
HeavenOrHell Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 From my experience I wouldn't read into it, my ex misses me etc etc but he doesn't want me back. Things might turn out differently for you though. Both yours and my ex left as they felt neglected, so in your shoes I would respond, I have tried to show my ex what he means to me, it wouldn't have felt right to just cut all contact, I doubt he will want to try again with me, but maybe yours will. I wanted to give it my best shot before giving up.
DenverBachelor Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 denver, you made a good point about the emotional aspirin thing, never really thought about it like that ..... The emotional aspirin quote belongs to Sean1970. Gotta give credit where credit is due, but good advice should be spread around for all.
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