Hurt

[Jam3s]

Honestly I don't know how to feel or what to think. Two days ago things couldn't have been better, we did a web cam session for close to 6 hours and were laughing and joking and generally having a great time the whole way through. We were discussing plans to see each-other and how excited we both were for this to happen and things were just....well perfect.

 

Then suddenly the next day it all changed. She told me that a combination of school starting and her friends returning from holidays led to her not being able to think straight and she needed to sort things out in her life and worst of all she told me that she could not be 100% certain that she could be faithful to me, she said she had been asked on a date to a party and accepted it and could not guarantee that nothing would happen.

 

I feel betrayed. It's almost as if it has not had much affect on her either because her latest facebook status is how much she is enjoying school and there have been no attempts to contact me either.

 

I don't know what to think, I want her to be happy, it's all that matters to me but I just do not understand how someones feelings can do a complete 180 just like that, it makes no sense to me.

 

She has not said straight out that is is over forever between us, but honestly even if she does sort herself out and want me in her life again, I am not sure I could take her back. Being with someone who can just completely change their attitude like that overnight is not something I find comfortable.

 

I was convinced her feelings for me were genuine and strong but I guess I was wrong. Another problem with online relationships I suppose, it is easier to hide your true feelings.

 

Life goes on, I just need to learn from this I suppose but I don't know WHAT to learn, because all it has taught me is that at any second, someones thoughts and feelings can changing with a snap of the fingers, and that is so unsettling it's not funny.

 

The joys of life.

[Lovelybird]

I don't know how long you've known each other, but 6 hours on web cam is lots of time. I met guy who can talk on phone that long, he is a nice guy, but I thought he had no life, we women long for communication, that is true, but 6 hours one time is a bit too much. We like a kind of man who is busy with his own life but still squeeze some time with his best to connect with us. Does this make sense?

[Jam3s]

Thanks for the reply. It does make sense but I don't think it was a problem, I had the day off as did she so we knew we had the time to do it and if anything she was the one who kept the conversation going. I have a lot of other things going on in my life anyway which she was well aware of, a very promising career for starters.

 

Oh forgot about the amount of time, kinda important. Known eachother for about 3 months and it was serious for just over 1 month.

[Lovelybird]

Ok, I see. Online dating is a bit of surreal or sometimes flaky, I did several of this in previous years, one is 3 years, another is 4 years on and off, even so I don't know them quite well. No matter how much you talk online, it is very different when you see the person in real life. In real life you can know how she interacts with others, how she treats others, how she treats you, does she do what she promised, is she affactionate in real life, is she flirty around other guys, so many things you can only know from real face to face interaction and around other people.

 

The lessons I learned from online dating are many, one of them is "don't fall in love with my own imaginations", second is "slow to fall in love until I really know him"

 

Oh, good luck with your new career

[KangaKitten]

how long were you guys seeing each other?

She is probably just figuring her life out still...cant hate her for that. If she really loves you she will be back, if not just take a lesson from her and go out and have fun with someone else.

[Jam3s]

I certainly don't hate her for it, i'm disappointed about the fact she is accepting dates and can't guarantee nothing will happen at them though, I suppose she is just needing more of a close physical relationship.

 

I hope she sorts it all out and understands what she really wants but I can't take her back of that is what she wants, I couldn't be with someone who just like that can walk away from the relationship, it would make me feel so insecure. So yeah, it's over, but it's life.

 

I will try to learn from it and move on and I hope she does the same

 

I just needed to rant more than anything I guess and get it off my chest, it's not healthy to bottle everything up which I have learned the hard way in the past.

[Romance]

Ahahah, if my boyfriend EVER said to me "A girl invited me to a party, I can't guarantee I won't cheat on you." The next thing I said to him would be "goodbye." Do not need someone like that, seriously.

[JustLooking123]

Ahahah, if my boyfriend EVER said to me "A girl invited me to a party, I can't guarantee I won't cheat on you." The next thing I said to him would be "goodbye." Do not need someone like that, seriously.

 

Completely agree. She straight-up told you that she is, more or less, considering cheating and would possibly do so if the opportunity presented itself. Can't you do better?

[Jam3s]

yeah you are right. I suppose a combination of her friends arriving back from vacation and her suddenly being invited to parties and on a date etc made her realise she did not know what she actually wanted. It's for the best, it's 100% over as far as I am concerned and I think she is going to realise that she has made a big mistake, but that's the way it is.

 

I am moving on anyway, it's difficult but it's the only thing to do.

 

Thanks for all the replies, has made me feel better and I appreciate it