You Might Do NC..But what if Your Ex BREAKS NC for you???

[LovelyDaze]

Just wondering if any dumpees out there have the strength to keep NC if your ex should call,text, e-mail, Facebook,etc. you?

 

I already "allowed" my 30 year old ex to break it last year to ask for another chance, I knew he hadn't changed and refused..he was STILL engaged to a 17/18 year old at the time he asked also.

 

He is now serving in Afghanistan and although I wish him great safety, I will NOT break NC again. When he comes back...he can't come back to me. What about you all?

[Golfilla]

No ex who dumps me will be hitting me on facebook or email because they'll be blocked, and if they get through I'll just delete the message without a reply. If they do manage to call me or if they bump into me, I'll keep it polite, but if they try to start a conversation, I'll just tell them I have things do to and goodbye. The last thing you want to do here is to show your ex that you're hurting, so simply keeping it polite and saying nothing is the best option.

[silverplanets]

I agree - keep NC and keep putting yourself first.

 

Although I still miss mine (they were in my life for a long time) I am careful not to confuse natual feelings of loss with wanting all the drama they always bring back in my life again.

 

I miss them in my mind but I don't miss them in reality (if you see what i mean).

 

I would rather be alone and clear headed than with someone who is not good for me.

 

(mind you it took me a long time to work that one out !!!)

 

:-)

 

Well done, sounds like you're keeping it together ...

[bananaboat11]

She dumped me (over facebook). Tonight, she unblocked me on facebook... we're engaged in a 3 month NC so far. I CAN'T break it.. for my own mental sanity. If she DOES contact me.. I don't know what I'll do

 

I'm scared... a 25 year old bodybuilder / graduate student... I want to cry =/

 

[GrayClouds]

Just wondering if any dumpees out there have the strength to keep NC if your ex should call,text, e-mail, Facebook,etc. you?

 

I already "allowed" my 30 year old ex to break it last year to ask for another chance, I knew he hadn't changed and refused..he was STILL engaged to a 17/18 year old at the time he asked also.

 

He is now serving in Afghanistan and although I wish him great safety, I will NOT break NC again. When he comes back...he can't come back to me. What about you all?

 

 

Ohhhh dazy duke, can I go out on a limb? And if I crack the branch and whack myself in the head on the way down I will be the first to say I deserve it. But what can I say I am a thrill seeker.

 

So here goes... "Me think the lady protest to much"

 

So what do I mean by that? I am not sure. Maybe I want to sound smart (yes I know "good luck with that"). Maybe I am hear a smart lady who gives others really good advice and deep in her heart know what she has to do. Knows what she wants to do. Know that she is going to do it. But there is still a little nagging, belligerent, strong willed voice in her saying "do not let go". This having her doing these round about ways of saying damn I missing this guy.

 

That is ok but maybe being a bit more direct with that voice will help you push beyond it faster.

 

Or maybe I am thinking way to much ( and will hurt myself if I keep that up). Thats a lot of maybe but one thing I am sure of you deserved much better then him and in time you will find it.

[Ro2Pi]

It's really hard. My ex just started doing that to me. The catch is... every time she wants to talk it turns into some awkward argument or fight. That's not my opinion but a matter of fact. I don't really know what to do except to not be angry or else she wins.

[LovelyDaze]

Ohhhh dazy duke, can I go out on a limb? And if I crack the branch and whack myself in the head on the way down I will be the first to say I deserve it. But what can I say I am a thrill seeker.

 

So here goes... "Me think the lady protest to much"

 

So what do I mean by that? I am not sure. Maybe I want to sound smart (yes I know "good luck with that"). Maybe I am hear a smart lady who gives others really good advice and deep in her heart know what she has to do. Knows what she wants to do. Know that she is going to do it. But there is still a little nagging, belligerent, strong willed voice in her saying "do not let go". This having her doing these round about ways of saying damn I missing this guy.

 

That is ok but maybe being a bit more direct with that voice will help you push beyond it faster.

 

Or maybe I am thinking way to much ( and will hurt myself if I keep that up). Thats a lot of maybe but one thing I am sure of you deserved much better then him and in time you will find it.

 

 

Yea...a teeny tiny itsy bitsy part wishes my ex will think it over while serving overseas without me his new fiancee in his sights to allow him to THINK. That minuscule part wants my ex to fight for me like the soldier he is over there. Do anything to win me back.

 

Thing is, I am beyond TERRIFIED we will fall back into the same old pattern of him wanting someone else to satisfy whatever the heck it is he feels is missing in his life. His pattern is getting engaged to pre pubescent girls then dumping them later in the relationship. Mine is sticking by a cheater time and time again like a loyal puppy dog. I broke the pattern and now I am scared of the unknown. But I have to. There's got to be something better than this continuous cycle.

[deux ex machina]

I broke it off, but really he made it impossible to stay togther, so it doesn't matter in my case. It's been since the beginning of December with fully no contact, no matter what (it was very low for months before that, though - so I got used to it). No contact feels much better than any at all.

Edited January 6, 2010 by deux ex machina

[GrayClouds]

Yea...a teeny tiny itsy bitsy part wishes my ex will think it over while serving overseas without me his new fiancee in his sights to allow him to THINK. That minuscule part wants my ex to fight for me like the soldier he is over there. Do anything to win me back.

 

Thing is, I am beyond TERRIFIED we will fall back into the same old pattern of him wanting someone else to satisfy whatever the heck it is he feels is missing in his life. His pattern is getting engaged to pre pubescent girls then dumping them later in the relationship. Mine is sticking by a cheater time and time again like a loyal puppy dog. I broke the pattern and now I am scared of the unknown. But I have to. There's got to be something better than this continuous cycle.

 

Wow that takes a great deal of courage to admit, be very proud of yourself. It is with that strength that you will make the unknown known and your future one a quality.

[DenverBachelor]

I broke it off, but really he made it impossible to stay togther, so it doesn't matter in my case. It's been since the beginning of December with fully no contact, no matter what (it was very low for months before that, though - so I got used to it). No contact feels much better than any at all.

 

Totally unrelated, but what was that actress's name that played catwoman in the old series? The girl in your avatar? She's incredibly hot and I've always had a crush on her -- even when I was 4 and didn't know why I felt that way.

 

Man is she hot. is = was.

 

Edit: That is either Lee Meriwhether or Julie Newmar. I think it is Julie Newmar, though. Man.

Edited January 6, 2010 by DenverBachelor

[DenverBachelor]

Totally unrelated, but what was that actress's name that played catwoman in the old series? The girl in your avatar? She's incredibly hot and I've always had a crush on her -- even when I was 4 and didn't know why I felt that way.

 

Man is she hot. is = was.

 

Edit: That is either Lee Meriwhether or Julie Newmar. I think it is Julie Newmar, though. Man.

 

Never mind -- that is definitely Newmar. Married in '77 and divorced in '84. She was neighbours with Jim Belushi.

[deux ex machina]

Totally unrelated, but what was that actress's name that played catwoman in the old series? The girl in your avatar? She's incredibly hot and I've always had a crush on her -- even when I was 4 and didn't know why I felt that way.

 

Haha. Yes, it is her.

 

Man is she hot. is = was.

 

Edit: That is either Lee Meriwhether or Julie Newmar. I think it is Julie Newmar, though. Man.

 

Good at names. It's Julie Newmar, you're right.