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To any female that's ever been pursued by an ex after a break up

letitrock40

By letitrock40
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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letitrock40 Member

letitrock40

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If you broke up with someone, or you got dumped and the person that dumped you wanted you back, what tactics did your ex use that moved you a little bit and made you reconsider?

 

Also what tactics really pissed you off and pushed you away?

RA1 Established Member

RA1

Posted
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Only one person that I broke up with (or who broke up with me) ever showed an interest in getting back.

 

That was an occasion where we both communicated how much we missed each other and how we had not been able to be happy with anyone else. We are together now.

Citizen Erased Established Member

Citizen Erased

Posted
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The first time, turning up at my place distraught made me cry and we eventually started seeing each other again.

 

The second time, just annoyed me and made me not want to go home in case they showed up again.

LovelyDaze Established Member

LovelyDaze

Posted
Posted
If you broke up with someone, or you got dumped and the person that dumped you wanted you back, what tactics did your ex use that moved you a little bit and made you reconsider?

 

Also what tactics really pissed you off and pushed you away?

 

Whoa. That just happened to me last year!

 

My ex dumped me for a teen and regretted after only a few DAYS. I went on LS to figure it all out and strength to stay away from him for good.

 

What my ex did was try to show off his new fiance' where we both worked, dump her cold then ask for me to come back, lavish me with cutesy texts about how much he missed me, and right before New Year's, he came by my home to ask me one last time to wait for him to return from Afghanistan in 2011 because he is "sure he will not get married" and wants us to try again then.

 

Not only did that piss me off & push me away..but it made me feel that if I took him back, I'd win the title of "Biggest Doormat & Moron of the Decade"

 

yea..I still have feelings for the jerk but he can NEVER get me back. That door is shut, closed and locked tight.

lmauk Member

lmauk

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its so weird how our brains can clearly see they are being horrible but our hearts are like noooooooooo. Its so back and white yet its not?! head F***.....

ordinary_girl Established Member

ordinary_girl

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it depends on what went wrong in the first place. when you are younger you don't realise what the underlying issues are and it can take a break up and some space to think them through.

 

when you are older you are supposed to be able to make permanent decisions and not second guess yourself

Simon Attwood Established Member

Simon Attwood

Posted
Posted
If you broke up with someone, or you got dumped and the person that dumped you wanted you back, what tactics did your ex use that moved you a little bit and made you reconsider?

 

Well to start off with, I should clarify that i'm male and approaching this not from the perspective of the pursuee, rather the pursuer, and saying what i think makes pursuing successful (at least has worked for me)

 

Patience

Consistency

Reliability

Perseverence

Calm Determination

Tolerance

Sensitivity

 

The biggest push away would be;

 

being too pushy and not knowing when to keep a safe distance.

sunrae Established Member

sunrae

Posted
Posted

My friends ex at the time (now husband) stood on a street corner with a sign, saying "I'm sorry, please forgive me", she say it on her way to work... He stood out there for 2 hours before she drove by, he wanted to make sure he was there in time.....

 

Being to pushy is a diff. turn off for me along with begging...

bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

Posted
Posted
My friends ex at the time (now husband) stood on a street corner with a sign, saying "I'm sorry, please forgive me", she say it on her way to work... He stood out there for 2 hours before she drove by, he wanted to make sure he was there in time.....

 

Being to pushy is a diff. turn off for me along with begging...

 

wow...

 

i would never =/

Silver_star Established Member

Silver_star

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My ex has broken up with me 4 times in 2 years. It hurt a little bit more every time he did. Truth is he said everything I wanted to hear (I missed you, and Your all i want and ever could want and I think im a better person now) and he never let too much time pass so I wasnt ever over him. It was always 5 weeks or less. In the end he completley ruined my trust in him and ruined any chance at us being friends, and he wasted more of my time.

bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

Posted
Posted
My ex has broken up with me 4 times in 2 years. It hurt a little bit more every time he did. Truth is he said everything I wanted to hear (I missed you, and Your all i want and ever could want and I think im a better person now) and he never let too much time pass so I wasnt ever over him. It was always 5 weeks or less. In the end he completley ruined my trust in him and ruined any chance at us being friends, and he wasted more of my time.

 

As much as I know my last relationship was toxic and I CAN'T ever get back with her... I am so dying (after a 3 month no contact and she finally unblocked me on FB) to message her those words...

Silver_star Established Member

Silver_star

Posted
Posted

Well you shouldnt. This "No contact" thing is not a game. You shouldnt treat it like its some game of endurance (who can last longer without contact) you should be using this time to try and heal and move on, not backslide and go back with someone who you said yourself you are not going to get back with. So why open old wounds? Do u like to torture yourself?

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