fierceblossoming Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 So here is my story: I was best friends with my partner for 10 years, and 3 years ago we decided to take the plunge and try being in a relationship. Things were great, except then a wrench got thrown in the mix when I became pregnant and a couple weeks later he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. We decided to terminate the pregnancy which was the most disturbing, aweful thing I have ever done, but probably the best thing at the time since we were dealing with so much together. Fast forward a year and a half: he hasnt really dealt with having the cancer. He is essentially cured now but has had to face his own mortality and needs to do work on himself. Things were fine two weeks ago, he was being sweet, loving, everything was great. He even said (ver batim) that he cant do life without me in it and he loves me so much and cant stand the thought of not having me in his life. No red flags whatsoever. Then BOOM! He called me up and said he wanted to separate and cut off all communication compeltely. We havent even talked at all. I have been a mess, I have tried really hard to give him space, but its so hard when I feel like I am not only losing my companion, my lover, but alos my best friend in the entire world. I kept on trying to get in contact with him to at least have some closure, but he wont even read my text messages, or even read a letter I wrote to him (his mom is telling me all this, and I believe her). Two days ago he sent me a text message saying basically that he wants to separate, he cares for me deeply, he feels really weird about the way he is doing this but he has to do it this way and not to contact him. Ouch. I have tried REALLY hard to leave him alone because I know thats what he wants. But I have slipped up a few times and sent him a couple text messages (one each day... thats it. WHich I know he isnt even reading). So... two things: One, an ******* aquantaince of ours told me that he is hanging out with some other girl now. I know he never cheated on me and apparently he met this girl on New Years Eve, and I am sure he is just trying to distract himself from how he is feeling right now. But HOLY F I am freaking out! I try not to think about it, but its SO hard. Help!!!!! Two, does it ever work out? I read on here and I am trying to stay positive. I love him and he loves me, I have no doubt inmy mind. Our roots run so deep and I am trying to give him what he needs (and kinda failing) because I love him so much. Letting go is so hard though when you have so much invested. I know he is suffering right now and I knwo that any contact from me makes it ten times harder for him. I honestly believe that this isnt the end for us, but sometimes I have doubts. Am I being hopeful? Or just crazy? I can handle ending our romantic relationship, but I really cant handle losing my best friend. Help!
ginyi1111 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 I understand how you feel. My ex cut off contact the day he broke up with me as well and it's been almost 2 months now, absolutely no contact. I'm afraid you have no choice but to go NC as well. Considering the way he has been treating you, you will need to let your pride and dignity do all the talking. If he really appreciates you the way that you appreciate him, he will be back.
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