starscollide Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 My ex boyfriend realized I defriended him on facebook shortly after telling me he was still seeing someone. Mind you, we'd been hooking up for six months before this ever came out. I was pissed that he'd lied, that he'd been cheating with me without my knowledge that he was still with someone, and I defriended him simply to not drive myself crazy seeing things I'm better off not seeing, pictures, comments, etc. I thought my way of handling it was right. So he texts me the night before New Years saying, "You didn't have to unfriend me on facebook you know :(" and I said that I wasn't doing it to be a b----; however, he writes back saying, "Suuure..you know, its times like this I'm glad I have a big d--- cuz otherwise, you'd tell me how you REALLY feel lolol jk" This isn't the first time this has come up! So when I received that, I called him up and I told him that he can't say things like that to me, and he claimed no one else would get annoyed over that. He constantly brings up his size, he wants to know how he compares to other guys (I've only ever been with one other guy since!), he even bought a pump, trying to impress me while we were hooking up, saying "You always liked it, I thought you'd like it even more if it was bigger." I DON'T GET IT!! I've told him over and over I don't care about his size, I care about him, I care about how he treats me and I see it clearly that its all his insecurities. But I don't understand why he thinks thats all he has, because he always uses that to say, "If it wasn't for that..." as in he thinks he doesn't have anything else going for him.
ordinary_girl Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 please read your post again as if a stranger has posted it. can you see how he is trying to manipulate you? he has been using you for sex completely betraying you! he doesn't care about your emotional well being. you should cut all ties with him and never speak to him ever again. he is not a friend and shouldn't be a lover either
lucy9216 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 please read your post again as if a stranger has posted it. can you see how he is trying to manipulate you? he has been using you for sex completely betraying you! he doesn't care about your emotional well being. you should cut all ties with him and never speak to him ever again. he is not a friend and shouldn't be a lover either I agree, you "defriending" him was not a bad idea because he would probably post comments on their just to piss you off as well. Just cut all contact with him, you will be better off.
phineas Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 my, my. Looks like you hurt "god's gift to women"'s ego when you defriended him. LOL! His getting you to call him was just the self-esteem boost he needed to get through the night. you did the right thing.
Author starscollide Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 my, my. Looks like you hurt "god's gift to women"'s ego when you defriended him. LOL! His getting you to call him was just the self-esteem boost he needed to get through the night. you did the right thing. lol I've been standing up to him a lot more than I ever use to ... so when I called him, he let it ring 4 times before picking up and when he did, he was all quiet. Its amazing how fast he cowers when he no longer has the upper hand. His relationships though are with assertive, controlling women, thats what I don't get. So I think he sees me as being like him, easy to control, and in the past that was true but I'm 23 years old. You don't get to talk down to me or push me around. Or claim I just like you for THAT!
Author starscollide Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 I agree, you "defriending" him was not a bad idea because he would probably post comments on their just to piss you off as well. Just cut all contact with him, you will be better off. He use to ALL the time! He'd comment other girls' pictures, he'd write all over the gfs page, and it really did hurt. He's all about playing games, and I've seen them work on him with the girlfriend...she'll post pics of her and a guy, or she'll be nasty to him, and he'll eat it up...he's 25..grow up!
CaspianDreams Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 He's playing games and there's a terrible stench of low self esteem...I say good riddens...beside, he doesn't sound like the nicest of friends, as he doesn't seem to care too much about your feelings. Forget about him.
Author starscollide Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 He's playing games and there's a terrible stench of low self esteem...I say good riddens...beside, he doesn't sound like the nicest of friends, as he doesn't seem to care too much about your feelings. Forget about him. Honestly, we have a long, long history and I know that his insecurities from childhood are what come up now. His gf is rather immature, even from her posts on facebook before I defriended him that much was obvious. She'll tease him, especially on his looks, even just little comments here and there and he'll kiss her ass in return. I don't know if he attracts really bad people or if he just likes getting **** on, but I've learned through the years that underneath it all, its all his insecurities, all his low self-esteem and he projects it onto me. He wants my reassurance, he wants me to boost his self-esteem, and honestly, his size is perfectly normal. Its probably 6-7 inches, but I made sure to tell him this time around: "Thats one part of you, not all. I don't care about your size." I don't understand how I'm a Size-Queen in his eyes. I'm not a shallow person, and when we'd hang out its like a light-bulb would go off and he'd say to me, "You're really nice." As if its a shocking quality to have. I'm not fake, I'm just me, and I'm always told I'm a "nice girl" but I'm not a pushover either and you can't take me down because you feel a certain way about yourself. He's not happy in his relationship, yet he stays. I don't feel comfortable talking to him because even something as simple as saying hey, how are you..his girlfriend will check his phone. She'll post pics of her and a guy, she's more demanding and for whatever reason...girls like this can get their way with him. You probably think I'm crazy, but I've learned to deal with this over time that I'm the one person in his life who treats him like a person. So when he's at his lowest points, he'll come around. But here's the thing. Most of the time, he's all talk. He'll talk a big game about hooking up, but when I finally did see him (haven't in months since learning he was with someone) he'd just be watching TV or would wanna show me a video game. He's 25, he's a cop, why isn't he more mature than this? He admitted in the past that he looks at my page and reads my wall posts...which is also probably why it bothered him not to be able to see what I was doing, but I even said, "If you want to know whats going on in my life, you could just ask ya know." I just feel like no matter how much I care about him...it never sinks in that I genuinely care about him. He always assumes there's a motive or that I just want him for his size or that I only want him because there's no one else. There are all these deep-rooted issues that I can't even begin to post, we'd be on here all day ...
O'Malley Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 My ex boyfriend realized I defriended him on facebook shortly after telling me he was still seeing someone. Mind you, we'd been hooking up for six months before this ever came out. I was pissed that he'd lied, that he'd been cheating with me without my knowledge that he was still with someone In reality he is a little pr!ck. It's natural for him to get upset when you don't provide him with attention (behind his current girlfriend's back, of course). He knows all he has to do is cry victim and you will be back to boost his self esteem. His girlfriend provides him with one set of needs and you provide him with another. The best way to get away from his attention wh*ring is absolute no contact -- change your accounts/phone number so that he can't even contact you. Make yourself stick to it and you'll see how much more your life will improve without him in it.
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