OceanTropic Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 (edited) If a guy calls too soon, he will think he seems desperate or needy. So many guys decide to wait. This guy I am interested in (we have mutual friends, seen each other a couple times, the last of which we kissed for many hours), doesn't seem too sure if he likes me back or not. He got my messenger, but over the course of about 4 days, I contacted him first (only twice) we had short but friendly convos. Last time I spoke to him was Monday, my take is that if by Friday he doesn't contact me (to see if i'm up to anything on the weekend) then he is not interested at all and I should leave him alone and move on. Am I right? I think a week is enough time to gather his thoughts...if by then he's not sure, then he's not really interested. Right? P.S. A question for the gentlemen: I have heard that if a man knows you are interested, he will make you wait in hopes of making you think more about him, so you like him more and are more eager to see him. Is this true? If so, does it work the same way with women? If she contacted you a few times, then all of a sudden stops, even if you liked her only a little bit, would it peak your interest? Or would you not notice? Edited January 5, 2010 by OceanTropic
DustySaltus Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 I don't like to play games. If I like someone my actions will show that sooner than later. I will tell you that the more you keep reaching out to him, the more available you are obviously becoming. That could work in a couple of ways. He could respond in the way you would like, he could not respond at all or he will see you as a potential friends with benefits situation. This whole push/pull thing DOES work under the right circumstances however at the beginning of something with potential, you need to be upfront. A confident man goes after what he wants. Then we become comfortable. It's too early for him to be able to do that.
CaspianDreams Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 He may be trying to play games to bolster interest, but at the same time, it's probably not a good sign. I know when I'm interested in some one, I definitely respond pretty quickly, not 4 days. Of course, occasionally my schedule is hellish, and 4 days would probably be a quick response during those times. In the end, I'd assume he wasn't going to contact you back. I see no harm in another brief communication in a few days if he hasn't responded, but definitely end it at that. I say that, as occasionally people forget, or just need a slight kick. More contact, however, would start to communicate bad things on your end, not to mention what it's saying about him. It's a tough situation - most would tell you that you've done what you can, and it's simply a waiting game. That said, try adding another pot to the fire, at a minimum it will keep you mildly distracted while waiting.
meerkat stew Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Well, the MO of most folks these days is to go on a date, then start contacting each other constantly and seeing each other several times a week right off the bat. Many are waking up and realizing this is not the best way for them, your guy may be one. Doesn't mean he's not interested. If you are looking for a yardstick, greater than 2 weeks without asking you out or contact is probably a sign of weak interest or that he's otherwise involved. Whether he's playing games or not is anyone's guess. The biggest "game" I see men playing early on is making a full court press with constant contact, compliments and declarations of affection undue for two people who don't really know each other. This is the game you have to watch out for IMO.
Lucky555 Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I say give it a week. I am giving the guy i like a week myself. Thats the best i can do. Yes it drives me nuts but i am doing other things. Its nice to know for sure. But i have to agree. the guy that shows a ton of attention early on is not really that interested in you..and they usually are not good guys. However, lets wait a week you and I for these guys see what happens! Good luck! Do things to occupy your time!
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