Lisha Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Any insight or thoughts would be great because I'm kinda confused. Back in May 2009, I was introduced to a guy at a party thrown by a mutual friend. I probably talked to him for a couple of minutes before giving him my email address (I wasn't completely comfortable giving a stranger my cell even if we have a friend in common). So, he emailed me 2-3 days later and we started talking back and forth everyday. It took him a little more than a week to ask me out. We went to a movie and dinner. It could have been better but at the same time, it could have gone worse. I will admit that I wasn't the funnest of dates, and I ended the date a bit earlier than I should have. I only did that because I didn't really feel too much chemistry, he's like the guy next door who has more friend potential than bf potential. But at the same time, I really did like him. He's a really sweet, nice guy. So, i was confused. So, after that first date, we went out another time shortly afterward, probably the next weekend (I don't remember the next date). But after that date, we didn't go out again. But we did text everyday, several times a day. We talked on the phone a couple of times as well. But he never asked me out again. I would assume he was not interested except he kept in contact. Usually if the guy loses interest, all communication stops as well, right? So, for the next couple of months, we texted/called/emailed, then he disappears for a month. Out of the blue, he didn't respond to my last text and I didn't text him again. I figured he moved on. And I was ok with that. But then a short while ago, he emailed me after not talking to me for a month. He acted like he never stopped talking. His only explanation, if you even call it that was, "How are you doing? It's been a while". And I didn't push it, I didn't ask him where he went. I responded to his email and we started the whole back and forth thing again. We went out New Year's eve to a party at his friend's place. I met his friends and they seem to know all about me. They knew he was bringing me, they knew how we met, that I was in college, etc. So obviously he talked about me to them, but I'm not sure what to make of this. At the party, he seemed interested in me, he kept making future plans, such as, we should do this sometime, etc. I just find his behavior really weird, and I'm not quite sure what to make of it. BTW, we haven't kissed or done anything yet. What do you guys think? Is he interested in a relationship or not? Or is this some sort of "game" to him? The thought did occur to me that he dated a girl during the time he stopped talking to me, then when that stopped, came back to me.
confusedmuch Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 I actually just had something similar happen to me last month. Except I only went on one date with this guy. Afterwards we exchanged a few simple emails and that was that. I figured he wasn't interested and was on to the next girl. Fair enough. 5 weeks later, he IMs me saying "hey stranger!". Eventually telling me how he wishes he was cuddling with me. As far as I know, he was just bored with his selection of girls in between and just coming back to somewhat familiar territory. With you though, he's talking about future plans with you which indicates that he is definitely interested in you. But yeah, I do think he was seeing other girls in the meantime. But you weren't exactly showing him all the interest in the world either. So why does this bother you? If you like him, just go out with him again and see where things go.
gopher Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 He probably sensed that you weren't interested in him, so that's why he quit contacting you. He came back to....give it another shot, or because the other girl he dated didn't work out. It doesn't sound like you are all that interested in him either, I would move on and find a guy that really does it for you.
Author Lisha Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 With you though, he's talking about future plans with you which indicates that he is definitely interested in you. But yeah, I do think he was seeing other girls in the meantime. But you weren't exactly showing him all the interest in the world either. So why does this bother you? If you like him, just go out with him again and see where things go. It doesn't really bother me that he is because I wasn't exactly sitting at home alone either. I was just really confused about him because it seemed like he didn't really know what he wanted. But then again, who am I to talk seeing as how I was confused to. He probably sensed that you weren't interested in him, so that's why he quit contacting you. He came back to....give it another shot, or because the other girl he dated didn't work out. It doesn't sound like you are all that interested in him either, I would move on and find a guy that really does it for you. Well...I wasn't that interested in the beginning but as I got to know more about him, he's kinda grown on me
OceanTropic Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 You said you ended things early, and weren't really the "funnest of dates". He probably took it as you're not interested in a relationship, but kept contact because he would love to stay friends. The fact that you didn't ask where he went (i know its so you dont seem clingy or anything) but he took as "she doesn't even care that I was gone for a month, probably didn't even notice". I think he maybe disappeared to try and get you to wonder where he is, so your interest in him would grow. If you like him, be more smiles and flirty next time, and don't end things early, unless its for a good reason of course. The ball is in your court girl, he's just waiting for you! Make your move
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