little_bear Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 The day he ended it I acted a little ......... pathetic, desperate even. I've been thinking about this the past day or so and am really just shaking my head at myself. I am embarrassed and mortified. Today is day 10 NC. Would it look desperate if I shot out a message saying "Hey, look I'm sorry I acted like such a crazy person" I don't know if this will even help me feel better but I am just so ashamed of myself.
Heartbrokenandinlove Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Personally, I would leave it - apologising is showing a sign of weakness...just leave it until he contacts you - and they just be positive and strong!
Author little_bear Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 wow this is insanely hard. I was out drinking last night and not having a very good time. All I wanted to do was crawl in bed with him and snuggle. It took all my energy not to call him.
TheLoneSock Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Personally, I would leave it - apologising is showing a sign of weakness...just leave it until he contacts you - and they just be positive and strong! Yes, leave it be and drop it, but not for this reason. Looking weak to him should not matter to you OP, who gives a sh*t what you look like to him? Leave it be because you know it would only make it worse, the only thing you need to give/send him right now is nothing at all. In other words, silence is golden. NC means NC, forever if need be.
sean1970 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 The day he ended it I acted a little ......... pathetic, desperate even. I've been thinking about this the past day or so and am really just shaking my head at myself. I am embarrassed and mortified. Today is day 10 NC. Would it look desperate if I shot out a message saying "Hey, look I'm sorry I acted like such a crazy person" I don't know if this will even help me feel better but I am just so ashamed of myself. I felt the same way after a visit to her house (um.. 4 hours away). Wanted to send a similar text. The problem is, when you send it, you will think of something else you forgot to say or could have said some passage better. In other words, you probably wont be satisfied with what you send and be tempted to send more. It also could prompt a reply... One that might hurt you more. Or no reply at all... Remember too, none of us were at our best in the heat of a breakup. We said and did things we never would have were we emotionally stable. We have all been there. Be kind to yourself... Forgive yourself.
LovelyDaze Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 I felt the same way after a visit to her house (um.. 4 hours away). Wanted to send a similar text. The problem is, when you send it, you will think of something else you forgot to say or could have said some passage better. In other words, you probably wont be satisfied with what you send and be tempted to send more. It also could prompt a reply... One that might hurt you more. Or no reply at all... Remember too, none of us were at our best in the heat of a breakup. We said and did things we never would have were we emotionally stable. We have all been there. Be kind to yourself... Forgive yourself. Exactly, texting the ex would just bring out thoughts of "Oh, and I have just ONE more thing to say!" and it would never end. Heal yourself now. No final word, no apologies, no attaboys, just nothing.
Author little_bear Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 I need to be strong. I'm feeling way too many conflicting emotions and I regret deleting him on Facebook
ginyi1111 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 You SHOULD delete him from fb. And he should understand the way you behaved during the breakup was a sign that you loved him, and it was despair and hurt. There is no shame in that and there is absolutely NOTHING to apologise for. Just concentrate on yourself now. Cry all you want, moan all you want...not to him, but to your friends or the people that care about you.
sean1970 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Not to make light of this but it reminds me of an exchange in 'A Few Good Men' with a some modifications... Dumper will play the Judge Dumped will be Demi Moore Dumped: We ask that the my previous behavior be stricken from the record. The dumper should disregard it. Dumper: The objection's overruled! Dumped: I strenuously object, and ask to confer with you before you rule on my behavior. Dumper: The objection has been overruled! Dumped: Move to reconsider. ------------------------ When they come to us on LS after... ------------------------ LS: I strenuously object? Is that how it works? Overruled! No, I strenuously object! Oh, then I'll reconsider! Dumped: I got it on the record. LS: You object once, so we can say he's not a good partner. If you keep after it, it looks like a bunch of needy dumped tricks. It's the difference between good NC and bad LC!
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