canadaman111 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Invited her over for dinner tonight. The kids miss her a lot and have been wanting to have her over. She just left last friday so I don't know what it means. To me her accepting this invitation can be nothing but a positive sign for the chances of us getting back together in the future. I was trying to have little contact with her, but the kids wanted her to come over and i wanted to make them feel better and before I knew it I had invited her. I never told her the reason I was inviting her was cause of the kids though. What do you guys think is the reason she would be willing to come for dinner? Does she maybe hope there could be a second chance down the road?
Howitzer Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Don't get your hopes up for a second chance. She might be missing the relationship, rather than missing you. In any case, you have to protect yourself, and not let yourself get in a vulnerable spot right now.
sean1970 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 (edited) This is crystal ball territory; it's unknowable. What is known is what needs to change surely has not yet, for either of you. That said... DO NOT talk about the relationship, not unless she does.If you can, plan a dinner where you both/all participate in making it.DO NOT talk about the relationship, not unless she does. Even then, keep it as short as possible for this meeting.No "life sucks"... "work sucks" nothing like that. Look like you are doing fine.Your expectations will be high; lower them... then lower them again...You wont wan't to but think about how you are going to end the evening. Work early, appointment in the morning, something. Sounds like a game but you want to be in control here. While it was nice to see her, you have other priorities too. Edited January 5, 2010 by sean1970
HeavenOrHell Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Me and my ex invite each other for dinner all the time, but he doesn't want me back. Maybe things will turn out better for you though, hope so
GrayClouds Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Fact is if you said you invited her for the kids then she is coming over for the kids. sean1970: Your expectations will be high; lower them... then lower them again... then lower them again...hen lower them again...hen lower them again... and remind YOURSELF that this is FOR THE KIDS. Not you, not your feeling, not your pain, and not for your your hopes. Because any other reason, you invited her under false pretense and that is no way to try to start a reconciliation. Again this is for the kids, and behave that way. Do not drink. Your already a exposed nerve, alcohol will make decsion making even worst. Be yourself, not Super Canadamen, she and the kids will be able to tell it. Because if she not interested in you as you are trying to be anything else will have her leaving one again when you return to yourself. Which is pretty darn good and if she can see it then she not going to. Ad the kids wil be saying to themselves "why is Pop acting so weird, this must be uncomfortable" and then they will feel weird. Good luck and be kind to yourself.
Author canadaman111 Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 Well she is here now. She is having a shower so I thought i would post an update. Things have went pretty well. We got into a brief talk about money but I ended it quick. Dinner went well, I made it and then cleaned up and did dishes. I am trying hard not to hug her or tell her how much I love her. I know nothing good will come from that at this point. I will post an update once she has left.
Dream Brother Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Well she is here now. She is having a shower so I thought i would post an update. Things have went pretty well. We got into a brief talk about money but I ended it quick. Dinner went well, I made it and then cleaned up and did dishes. I am trying hard not to hug her or tell her how much I love her. I know nothing good will come from that at this point. I will post an update once she has left. lol breakup/reconciliation live field reports. That's a first.
Author canadaman111 Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 lol breakup/reconciliation live field reports. That's a first. LOL Well she is gone now. All in all things went pretty well. I did have to try to keep my expectations down. I think things met my expections. She never showed any signs of wanting to come back, like I expected. I wouldn't expect to see that 5 days after she left. If that were the case things weren't thought out very well on her part. I did everything I wanted to do. I didn't talk about the past, I was very nice to her without going over the top, I didn't tell her how much I miss her or that I love her. Everything went positive tonight, and know a little while without much contact to let things soak in for each other would be good.
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