I only seem to be able to feel sexual attraction to very good looking guys

[shadowplay]

Cant a average guy be decent looking ?

 

Depends on how you define it. I define decent as at least slightly good looking.

[Star Gazer]

I'm not especially picky when it comes to male appearance. I am when it comes to female, because I'm not generally judging them as potential partners. I look at female beauty from a more artistic standpoint.

 

I thought you were sexually attracted to women as well?

[temple]

"I only seem to be able to feel sexual attraction to very good looking guys"

And you say this like it's a bad thing...

[AD1980]

This is why i dont even approach women and accept my fate of loneliness..

 

These women have such high standards that they find only the top few percent guys hot..

 

Even if by some miracle i got 1 decent looking looking women out of a thousand that would reject me shed evnetually leave because she wouldnt be satisfied by an averge or below average guy and would take the next hot thign that came her way..

 

I appreciate the honesty by women in this thread though a great deal that they only lust after really hot guys rather then be told fluff that looks arent extremely important when they clearly are and just have confidence and women will liek you and other bs blah blah blah

[cognac]

As a woman I consider at least 30 percent of young men good looking enough to be dateable.

 

But I constantly hear men say they'll only date women in the top 10, 5, 1 percentile of looks. Often these aren't even the hottest guys. I almost never hear women say they only go for 9s or 10s.

 

You can't be serious shadowplay. Men are almost always content dating within their league. While women always try to jump one up. The reason for this is men are willing to bang women a league below but not date them, while the reverse is not true for women. It's why average women pass up all the average guys (regardless of personality) to get hit and quit-ed by the "tall hot guys" with the false hopes that one day these "hotties" will come around to be their husband/boyfriend, and why fat girls seem to think guys like me are so damned hot despite being of an athletic build etc.

 

Why can't average girls just go out with average guys?

[shadowplay]

Not really Men kill each other and call each other ugly or fat all the time in a circle of freinds women seem to sugarcoat it to their friends..

 

Women nare probably worse to other women their nto friends with then we are.

 

I am no Men attractivness expert but i can see when a guys really good looking normal looking or extremely ugly

 

Ive seen normal decent looking guys get shredded by women about his looks

 

Womens view of whast attractive or good looking is very small

 

It's the same for both sexes. Most want to date attractive partners. Someone who is just average, or "normal decent" looking as you define it won't generally be considered attractive by the opposite sex unless they have something else to offer. You're just more lenient on average guys because you identify with them and you're not judging them as potential mates.

[shadowplay]

You can't be serious shadowplay. Men are almost always content dating within their league. While women always try to jump one up. The reason for this is men are willing to bang women a league below but not date them, while the reverse is not true for women. It's why average women pass up all the average guys (regardless of personality) to get hit and quit-ed by the "tall hot guys" with the false hopes that one day these "hotties" will come around to be their husband/boyfriend, and why fat girls seem to think guys like me are so damned hot despite being of an athletic build etc.

 

Why can't average girls just go out with average guys?

 

Maybe you haven't been on LS that long, but I constantly see posts from frustrated men about how they're only willing to date 9s or 10s. I knew a smart guy who was about a 7 and was constantly turning aside attractive, smart girls because they didn't meet his looks standards. Then who does he end up with? A 9 who is about as brainless as it gets.

 

I rarely hear women complain that they can't land male supermodels.

 

If a guy just qualifies as cute (7 up) and has a decent personality he'll have no trouble attracting women.

[PJKino]

It's the same for both sexes. Most want to date attractive partners. Someone who is just average, or "normal decent" looking as you define it won't generally be considered attractive by the opposite sex unless they have something else to offer. You're just more lenient on average guys because you identify with them and you're not judging them as potential mates.

 

Normal decent get with normal decent of the oppsoite sex....None of them are partciaulry thrilled with the other physically but they realzie they proably cant do betetr..

[shadowplay]

You can't be serious shadowplay. Men are almost always content dating within their league. While women always try to jump one up. The reason for this is men are willing to bang women a league below but not date them, while the reverse is not true for women. It's why average women pass up all the average guys (regardless of personality) to get hit and quit-ed by the "tall hot guys" with the false hopes that one day these "hotties" will come around to be their husband/boyfriend, and why fat girls seem to think guys like me are so damned hot despite being of an athletic build etc.

 

Why can't average girls just go out with average guys?

 

Both sexes try to date up. It makes sense, right?

[PJKino]

Maybe you haven't been on LS that long, but I constantly see posts from frustrated men about how they're only willing to date 9s or 10s. I knew a smart guy who was about a 7 and was constantly turning aside attractive, smart girls because they didn't meet his looks standards. Then who does he end up with? A 9 who is about as brainless as it gets.

 

I rarely hear women complain that they can't land male supermodels.

 

If a guy just qualifies as cute (7 up) and has a decent personality he'll have no trouble attracting women.

 

Its hard to quantify what a 7 is..One womens 7 might be another's 4..Not everyone has the same exact tastes..

 

Of course theyres the few Men who almost every women wants to be with but thats about 2% of Men the rest are pretty subjective and fall somewhere in the average category wheter slightly above or below is left up to the particualrs womens tastses.

[PJKino]

This is why i dont even approach women and accept my fate of loneliness..

 

These women have such high standards that they find only the top few percent guys hot..

 

Even if by some miracle i got 1 decent looking looking women out of a thousand that would reject me shed evnetually leave because she wouldnt be satisfied by an averge or below average guy and would take the next hot thign that came her way..

 

I appreciate the honesty by women in this thread though a great deal that they only lust after really hot guys rather then be told fluff that looks arent extremely important when they clearly are and just have confidence and women will liek you and other bs blah blah blah

 

I agree youll never be good enough for a women just concentrate on other things and pay for sex if you need it that much

[PJKino]

Both sexes try to date up. It makes sense, right?

 

Most try but if the majority refused to date the same level or below the population would dwindle

 

I think the average couple with each others whos maybe a 5 or 6 settled because they couldnt do better and arent really attracted to each other

[AD1980]

I agree youll never be good enough for a women just concentrate on other things and pay for sex if you need it that much

 

Thats what im gonna do..

 

Being good looking is like wining the lotto it makes things so much easier.

 

.As the op said the guy didnt even have to have a great personality and shed be intrigued..We give good looking people so muhc praise in this society for something they had nothing to do with..

 

Ill admire beauty for a few seconds but i never get the people who worship beauty to the point that no other traits matter that much and the person can do no wrong..

[CaliGuy]

Shadow, I feel bad for you... Because even if you marry the hottest guy alive, a couple years down the road when his looks begin to fade, you're going to think you've settled. Beauty will always fade. ALWAYS.

 

I agree with this 100%.

 

That said, you really have little control over what/who you are attracted to. What you can do is be a bit more open minded and focus less on the external parts and more on the internal parts.

 

At least in my case, that is what helped sway my opinion on several women I wasn't initially attracted to.

 

You like when men adore you for YOUR internals, but you can't give them the same. You're way, way, way, way too focused on the superficial/external parts of people.

 

Agreed. Her best bet right now is get her hormones in check before going on out dates and meeting guys. When your needs are being met (in one way or another) you're better apt to look at people for WHO they are and not WHAT they are

[Sam Spade]

Try dating outside your race to find a combination of looks and personality you are attracted to.

 

This is actually exceedingly good advice !

One of the reasons asian chicks are so pupular is because to our western eye they simply look beautiful, period. The important derivation however is that a girl that would be considered merely "average" in China here is extremely hot (but still has the decent attitude of an average girl, since that is what she is, after all).

 

I'd imagine it works the other way around too. Some arabian or latino stud surely won't mint tapping into some white bootie (and most importantly - vice versa):lmao::lmao:.

[gypsy_nicky]

The important derivation however is that a girl that would be considered merely "average" in China here is extremely hot (but still has the decent attitude of an average girl, since that is what she is, after all).

 

 

that's because to be considered above average in asian countries, you would have to have caucasian features. That's why you see most Asian celebrities are of Eurasian (mixed) decent.

[SadandConfusedWA]

Wow, so many responses. To answer some questions, I have always been this way and I have now just turned 31. I think I am just a highly visual person. I have also entered into relationships with average looking guys who had great personalities. Didn't really help and I always found that I had to force the physical part. After a while, I would start making excuses in why I don't want to have sex. That's what saddens me when I see husbands writing countless sexless marriage threads. So many women settle in relationships without physical attraction because they can't get anything else and then have miserable lives. I am determined not to do that.

 

Also, I am not talking about 9s and 10s. I am talking about guys that are 7 or possibly an 8. I think I am around a 7, so I should be able to get those guys. But it seems that guys want to trade up just as much as women do (guys that are 7 want to land a girl that is a 9). I think that trading up is just a general human trait.

 

Oh and like shadowplay I think that if I had outgoing, bubbly personality my looks would be enough to get guys I want, but unfortinately my personality is the opposite of that. So I will now work on bettering my looks. I have started getting botox at 29 and will start hitting the gym as much as I can.

Edited January 6, 2010 by SadandConfusedWA

[cognac]

Maybe you haven't been on LS that long, but I constantly see posts from frustrated men about how they're only willing to date 9s or 10s. I knew a smart guy who was about a 7 and was constantly turning aside attractive, smart girls because they didn't meet his looks standards. Then who does he end up with? A 9 who is about as brainless as it gets. [/Quote]

 

I have seen douchebaggy guys like Lost N Confused talk about this, but he has the looks of a 9 or a 10 so I guess he can get away with it. But guys like me, AD1980 , Meerkat, Betamanlet, etc all universally agree that we only want to date women who are equal looking to us . If I'm slender with an athletic build, why should I have to date a fat girl? If I'm a 6 or a 7 face wise, why should I have to date an ugly girl? etc.

 

 

I rarely hear women complain that they can't land male supermodels. [/Quote]

 

That is because they always do. It's easy for women to land guys who are better looking than them because all it takes is to be extremely sexually available. Most guys good looking or not will take what they can get sexually and if a woman gives him the vibe she's easy he'll go for it . I have a friend who is tall and good looking and claims to have slept with 300 women, do you think all of them were in his league? I doubt it. It's also why it seems like almost all guys who are not 8 foot tall millionaire supermodels get either no or very sparse interest from women, while every woman obese, thin, ugly, boring, dumb, good looking, etc either has a boyfriend or some kind of "fling".

 

Unfortunately women end up missing out because they could be having very fulfilling relationships with guys in their league who would adore them and have something to offer them outside of c0ck n poosey. Then they still have the nerve to rant and rave about how all guys are players and just want to use them for sex

 

If a guy just qualifies as cute (7 up) and has a decent personality he'll have no trouble attracting women.

 

This is USDA approved 100% B.S. and we all know it. I would say I am "cute" and have an amazing personality, but I am 5'7 so very few women are physically attracted to me at first sight (or second and third) . I also don't have a car and have exactly 600 dollars in my bank account, (both of my parents are currently unemployed) so the ones who are attracted to me after getting past my height , lose their attraction there. THEN add in any other thing that makes a woman not compatible with me such as religion, political opinion, etc, and the number of women who I can attract and keep around dwindles down to 0.

[tkgirl]

Wow, so many responses. To answer some questions, I have always been this way and I have now just turned 31. I think I am just a highly visual person. I have also entered into relationships with average looking guys who had great personalities. Didn't really help and I always found that I had to force the physical part. After a while, I would start making excuses in why I don't want to have sex. That's what saddens me when I see husbands writing countless sexless marriage threads. So many women settle in relationships without physical attraction because they can't get anything else and then have miserable lives. I am determined not to do that.

Also, I am not talking about 9s and 10s. I am talking about guys that are 7 or possibly an 8. I think I am around a 7, so I should be able to get those guys. But it seems that guys want to trade up just as much as women do (guys that are 7 want to land a girl that is a 9). I think that trading up is just a general human trait.

 

Oh and like shadowplay I think that if I had outgoing, bubbly personality my looks would be enough to get guys I want, but unfortinately my personality is the opposite of that. So I will now work on bettering my looks. I have started getting botox at 29 and will start hitting the gym as much as I can.

 

 

no, you will end up leading a sad and lonely life if you stay so focused on looks alone... there are SO MANY other wonderful qualities that people possess, but if all you can see is their looks then I'm sorry to say but you are pretty shallow... I know I sound like I'm being a beoch but I really want you to change this... looks come and go... it's the inner qualities that matter in the long run. I think you will pull out of this though... 31 is pretty young and you still have a lot of growing to do...

[bac]

There are plenty of ugly guys who are superficial jerks and stuff like that.

Looks have nothing to do with a person's personality for both genders.

Many handsome guys are deep, intelligent, shy, have low self-esteem, nice and they often have LTRs/marriages with inattractive females.

 

It is normal to be attracted to attractive people because the natural basic purpose of sex drive is making kids. On some unconscious level we just want our kids look pretty.

[cognac]

While to some 31 is still young, the clock is ticking OP. You better start finding us average guys attractive soon or risk being one of those childless, lonely cat lady's i see at my job. Sometimes they'll stay and try to chat with me, and even flirt with me, they realized a little too late what they were missing out on. Their quest to date only the tallest richest hottest guys in their prime age failed miserably. Sweet justice.

[Johnny M]

.As the op said the guy didnt even have to have a great personality and shed be intrigued..We give good looking people so muhc praise in this society for something they had nothing to do with..

Think of it this way. Like most people on this board, you are likely an American who was born into a middle class family. This means that compared to like 80% of the world's population, you were born into a life of unimaginable luxury, which is something you had absolutely nothing to do with. If you were born in Sudan or some other third world sh*thole, you'd be eating camel dung right and b!tching about being born in the wrong country.

 

Let's face it: life isn't fair. That is just the nature of things. You have to play the cards that were given to you and not worry about the folks who were born with a hand full of aces.

[Woggle]

You are getting botox in your 20s? That speaks volumnes about what you value.

[Johnny M]

Oh and like shadowplay I think that if I had outgoing, bubbly personality my looks would be enough to get guys I want, but unfortinately my personality is the opposite of that. So I will now work on bettering my looks. I have started getting botox at 29 and will start hitting the gym as much as I can.

29 and just starting to hit the gym?? Where were you 10 years ago?

 

As for botox, don't do it. You will regret it.

[tkgirl]

You are getting botox in your 20s? That speaks volumnes about what you value.

 

 

yeah... that is what concerns me too. I'm 44 and still won't even consider botox! but by the time I'm 50? hmmm... maybe, or by then I'll probably just for the whole facelift dealio...

ok, so I never said looks don't matter at all, they just aren't everything!