I only seem to be able to feel sexual attraction to very good looking guys

[meerkat stew]

You are no different than every other man and woman in the world, we all want to attract the best mate, which genetically, is often the most physically attractive. So don't beat yourself up, it's not that lots of other women aren't the same as you, they just have trouble admitting it for some reason. Take that honesty and work with it as a strength.

 

The solution to your problem of worrying that you can't keep a hot man is to do what most men have to do and start making more approaches. Meet more people and you come closer to meeting a man whom you feel attraction for and who feels the same. I know, completely obvious, but so much of getting what we want is pursuing the simple, obvious course.

[phineas]

Unfortunately, the hitting the gym daily won't do anything to enhance an average face. They are yet to make dumbells that will make men resemble Gabriel Aubry.

 

A buff body alone doesn't do it.

 

 

Are you saying chicks wouldn't dig Buddy Hackett if he had hugh Jackman's body?

[shadowplay]

How long do usually stay with them? I mean, did a relationship ever develop or did you end things at the dating stage itself? Sometimes people become more attractive over time if you really like their personalities.

 

In my experience this isn't true.

[melodymatters]

Are you saying chicks wouldn't dig Buddy Hackett if he had hugh Jackman's body?

 

 

That would be correct !

 

My biggest "turn off" is a fat fleshy nose ! I was thinking the other day while watching lord of the rings that I, would not date Megan Foxes BF ( Domenic Mongahan or something) because I hate his face, especially nose, and how utterly bizzare that was !!!!

[ella23]

In my experience this isn't true.

It might not work most of the times, but that is what happened with me once.

[stevejohnson1976]

That would be correct !

 

My biggest "turn off" is a fat fleshy nose ! I was thinking the other day while watching lord of the rings that I, would not date Megan Foxes BF ( Domenic Mongahan or something) because I hate his face, especially nose, and how utterly bizzare that was !!!!

 

those two aren't dating.

 

Evangeline Lilly is dating old Dominic these days.

 

get your gossip straight;)

[burning 4 revenge]

In other words youre an average woman like every other woman Ive ever met

 

I think many people end up together because theyre lonley and they can stomach one another and excitement has nothing to do with it

[melodymatters]

those two aren't dating.

 

Evangeline Lilly is dating old Dominic these days.

 

get your gossip straight;)

 

 

Ha hahaha ! You are right, I just can NOT keep my uber hot brunettes straight ! But Megan is dating Brian Austin Greene I believe and I always thought he was gay, and don't like his face either !

[shadowplay]

I think many people end up together because theyre lonley and they can stomach one another and excitement has nothing to do with it

 

Unfortunately, that's probably true. I've done this with many of my past boyfriends, and actually was very aware that I was settling.

 

What I don't understand is the men I usually end up dating always seem to think they've landed the jackpot (at least before they discover some of my issues), so it would stand to reason that I'm dating below my league. But then when I reach for slightly higher hanging fruit, they reject me. Assuming I'm a 7 is it that every guy 7 or above will only date a 9 or 10? But any guy 5-6 has much lower standards? That's sort of what I've noticed. Hell if I get it.

Edited January 5, 2010 by shadowplay

[CaliGuy]

In my experience this isn't true.

 

It's much more common than you realize...

 

Unfortunately, that's probably true. I've done this with many of my past boyfriends, and actually was very aware that I was settling.

 

What I don't understand is the men I usually end up dating always seem to think they've landed the jackpot (at least before they discover some of my issues), so it would stand to reason that I'm dating below my league. But then when I reach for slightly higher hanging fruit, they reject me.

 

That's because the ones who think they've hit the jackpot aren't very confident themselves. The higher hanging fruit, the more confident ones, are less likely to put up with red flags -- regardless of how hot she is.

 

I personally have walked away from some very beautiful women because they didn't have their crap together. On the other hand, I have dated and stayed with (for lengthy times) average looking women because they have been well balanced and fun with very few red flags.

[shadowplay]

That's because the ones who think they've hit the jackpot aren't very confident themselves. The higher hanging fruit, the more confident ones, are less likely to put up with red flags -- regardless of how hot she is.

 

I personally have walked away from some very beautiful women because they didn't have their crap together. On the other hand, I have dated and stayed with (for lengthy times) average looking women because they have been well balanced and fun with very few red flags.

 

I'm not sure I agree with this. Often times (but not always) the confident guys are just as if not more superficial in that they're willing to forgo lack of intelligence or personality if the girl is hot.

 

I've seen a lot of hot guys date some real pieces of work simply because of looks. I've also seen a lot of them go for bimbos. If they're just trophy hunting it makes sense.

 

Sometimes getting rejected forces a guy to be less superficial. He realizes that some/many of the pretty girls can be bitches. Or to rationalize the pain he starts to focus on other traits. Then again rejection can also turn a guy into a raging misogynist like we see on LS. The kind that can't practice what he preaches in that he'd happily dump his average gf for a hotter model given the chance. Totally depends on the personality type, which direction he goes in.

 

Would you ever consider marrying an average looking women if you loved her personality, or would you always feel that you had settled? Be honest. Did your relationships ever end with these average women you dated because you were less than satisfied with how they looked?

Edited January 5, 2010 by shadowplay

[Star Gazer]

Shadow, I feel bad for you... Because even if you marry the hottest guy alive, a couple years down the road when his looks begin to fade, you're going to think you've settled. Beauty will always fade. ALWAYS.

 

You like when men adore you for YOUR internals, but you can't give them the same. You're way, way, way, way too focused on the superficial/external parts of people.

[phineas]

I'm not sure I agree with this. Often times (but not always) the confident guys are just as if not more superficial in that they're willing to forgo lack of intelligence or personality if the girl is hot.

 

I've seen a lot of hot guys date some real pieces of work simply because of looks. I've also seen a lot of them go for bimbos. If they're just trophy hunting it makes sense.

 

Would you ever consider marrying an average looking women if you loved her personality, or would you always feel that you had settled? Be honest. Did your relationships ever end with these average women you dated because you were less than satisfied with how they looked?

 

but, these guys usually move on quite easily for the next conquest.

 

I married an average looking woman.

She was too skinny & not remarkable at all in looks.

 

She was average looking to me until I got to know her & she got her freak on in the sack.

 

Then she made me a walking hard-on.

 

But alas, she went shopping online for a pretty boy so I guess looks are whats important in the end.

 

She's gained a lot of weight though lately so I suspect she'll fall vicitm as pretty boy will move on as the divorce gets closer.

[shadowplay]

Shadow, I feel bad for you... Because even if you marry the hottest guy alive, a couple years down the road when his looks begin to fade, you're going to think you've settled. Beauty will always fade. ALWAYS.

 

You like when men adore you for YOUR internals, but you can't give them the same. You're way, way, way, way too focused on the superficial/external parts of people.

 

Hmm...I'm not sure about this. My standards aren't that high, in that I'll date a guy who is just above average if I like his personality. I'm talking about guys I've dated who were average looking. I couldn't feel the attraction. I think you'd agree that some physical attraction is necessary to keep a relationship going.

 

Men can stay attractive into their fifties and sixties. If I settle down with somebody and we reach that age together, I don't think looks will be much of a concern to me anymore. We will already have a strong bond.

Edited January 5, 2010 by shadowplay

[PJKino]

WOmen dont seem to find the guy next door so to speka attractive or just "cute" guys only the hollywod hunk types

 

You hear women say all how its not about looks witht hem and how their boyfriend or husband isnt great looking you look at him and hes a attrtacive man but if a womens not datign a Bradd Pitt she thinks shes doing a favor to the guy..

 

I actually prefer "cute" girls over etxremely hot they do soemthing to me more thn really hot girls plus they usally have betetr personalities

[ella23]

 

You hear women say all how its not about looks witht hem and how their boyfriend or husband isnt great looking you look at him and hes a attrtacive man but if a womens not datign a Bradd Pitt she thinks shes doing a favor to the guy..

 

The same goes for men.

[shadowplay]

WOmen dont seem to find the guy next door so to speka attractive or just "cute" guys only the hollywod hunk types

 

You hear women say all how its not about looks witht hem and how their boyfriend or husband isnt great looking you look at him and hes a attrtacive man but if a womens not datign a Bradd Pitt she thinks shes doing a favor to the guy..

 

I actually prefer "cute" girls over etxremely hot they do soemthing to me more thn really hot girls plus they usally have betetr personalities

 

I think men are just generally out of touch with what women find attractive, and they have lower standards than women do when rating their own gender. Maybe it's that men tend to identify more with other men, hence they're more lenient on their fellow bros; whereas women are often very competitive with each other about attractiveness and will sometimes rip each other to shreds.

Edited January 5, 2010 by shadowplay

[PJKino]

I think men are just generally out of touch with what women find attractive, and they have lower standards than women do when rating their own gender.

 

No i just think women are much more pickier and have a smaller scope of whats attratcive or acceptable to them

[shadowplay]

No i just think women are much more pickier and have a smaller scope of whats attratcive or acceptable to them

 

I don't necessarily agree with that. I think men are far more lenient on the attractiveness of each other than they are on the attractiveness of women.

 

How often have I heard a guy refer to another guy as good/decent looking, and he's just average. I don't think I'm especially picky as women go either.

[meerkat stew]

I think men are just generally out of touch with what women find attractive, and they have lower standards than women do when rating their own gender.

 

Doesn't mean men are necessarily out of touch, but there was a survey done by OK Cupid that found that men rate female profile pictures significantly higher than the actual objective attractiveness decile of the profile, whereas women rate male profile pictures significantly lower than the actual objective attractiveness decile of the picture.

 

Any delusions men hold about what women want, and what they find attractive in men were generally provided to us by women. We have to do our own research over time and much experience to eventually sift out the truth.

[PJKino]

Maybe it's that men tend to identify more with other men, hence they're more lenient on their fellow bros; whereas women are often very competitive with each other about attractiveness and will sometimes rip each other to shreds.

 

Not really Men kill each other and call each other ugly or fat all the time in a circle of freinds women seem to sugarcoat it to their friends..

 

Women nare probably worse to other women their nto friends with then we are.

 

I am no Men attractivness expert but i can see when a guys really good looking normal looking or extremely ugly

 

Ive seen normal decent looking guys get shredded by women about his looks

 

Womens view of whast attractive or good looking is very small

[Star Gazer]

I don't think I'm especially picky as women go either.

 

I'm not harping on you, but I really couldn't disagree more. You're the most critical person of female appearances that I have seen here in all my years here (which go beyond my current name's date).

[shadowplay]

As a woman I consider at least 30 percent of young men good looking enough to be dateable.

 

But I constantly hear men say they'll only date women in the top 10, 5, 1 percentile of looks. Often these aren't even the hottest guys. I almost never hear women say they only go for 9s or 10s.

[PJKino]

 

How often have I heard a guy refer to another guy as good/decent looking, and he's just average. I don't think I'm especially picky as women go either.

 

Cant a average guy be decent looking ?

[shadowplay]

I'm not harping on you, but I really couldn't disagree more. You're the most critical person of female appearances that I have seen here in all my years here (which go beyond my current name's date).

 

I'm not especially picky when it comes to male appearance. I am when it comes to female, because I'm not generally judging them as potential partners. I look at female beauty from a more artistic standpoint.