Author mybrowneyedgirl Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 JJ - i'm also with you on the sex thing. our sex only got better after years of falling in love with each other. each time was more and more amazing, because of the love that we shared. it wasnt a new explosive sort of sex. it was about the feelings we shared.
NoIDidn't Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Sorry, Anne, but after having read your old threads, it is obvious that your OM was not an option for you. In fact with the quickness with which your OM moved on to another MW, I am inclined to agree with you that the love you two had was inferior to the love you and your husband have. So your case can not be used as an example of not settling. About your last question above, I would say that a lot of WS stay with their spouses because there is more to it than just love. That is the reason they are indecisive in the first place. This just reads like a kick in the gut to a poster that's been nothing but helpful and NOT judgmental at all. I know you preface it with "sorry", but...ouch.
anne1707 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Anne, you were yourself saying that what you had with your OM was not real. I was only picking up on that. And what I am also saying is that at the time, it seemed just as real to me as this now does to MBEG. There is much of my story that was never posted on LS and never will be because that is all in the past now. Anyway this is heading into a t/j. MBEG - if he is asking these questions, it is because he is still playing. Even if he does not want to resume the affair, his ego would like to believe that you are still interested. He may even possibly be pleased that you and your H are separated at the moment because to him that will show how much the affair impacted on you plus he may not want your H to have you whilst he cannot. Don't let him play you like this.
donnamaybe Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Sorry if you are confused. I'm not. ANYONE involved in an affair is confused. You can choose to disagree all you want, but it's true. Until you have a REAL relationship, i.e., one that isn't hidden from nearly everyone but the AP's, it's not real, IMO. I have seen WAY too many cases where, in the rare occurrences where AP's DO wind up together, one or both find that the everyday sets in and it's no longer any fun. They try to live together and THEN they discover all those things that one or both can't stand in the other. You can view it how you want, but it is what it is. You're still in an A, not a relationship. Until your MM chooses you over his W, you're still just the "other."
jennie-jennie Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 This just reads like a kick in the gut to a poster that's been nothing but helpful and NOT judgmental at all. I know you preface it with "sorry", but...ouch. I know, but Anne brought in her case as an argument in the discussion, so I could find no other way to approach it. Sorry again, guys.
donnamaybe Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 JJ - i'm also with you on the sex thing. our sex only got better after years of falling in love with each other. each time was more and more amazing, because of the love that we shared. it wasnt a new explosive sort of sex. it was about the feelings we shared. If he "fell in love" with you, why is he with his W and not you? You even said just a couple posts above that he is ALL about what benefits HIM. Please don't even give him one single chance to worm his way back into your world.
jennie-jennie Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 MBEG, I think you are doing really well. You seem to be a woman who looks at your life and draws conclusions, not the ones which make it easy for you, but the true ones that are there. You don't deny your past, nor your present or your future. Wherever you are going, you will find the way that is your own and because of that the correct one.
Passion4Life Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 JJ - i'm also with you on the sex thing. our sex only got better after years of falling in love with each other. each time was more and more amazing, because of the love that we shared. it wasnt a new explosive sort of sex. it was about the feelings we shared. mybrowneyedgirl , I can say for sure that most of the posters on this thread are those who dont believe in trying to work on a marriage. so its not very helpful if u want neutral advise , unless u too love the same ideology . best of luck
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