Engagement Ring..should a man sue to get it back?

[ms.immortality]

Hello, my bf had a broken engagement about a year before he met me. His fiance ended it and kept the ring. He asked for it back, but she would not give it to him; so he let it go. It has now been almost 2 years since the engagement took place but has found out the whole time they dated and were engaged; she was legally married to someone else (long story)!

 

Now he is livid thinking how he was took by her. So, he has asked me if I think he should take her to court to try to get the ring back and I have told him that it is his decision. I really do understand his anger since he was duped, but it has been nearly 2 years, and she probably sold it by now.

 

Some background...the first engagement ring he got her, she didn't like, so he took her to the jeweler to pick out a different one. The one she picked was over twice as much. He paid about $5,000 for it.

 

Anyway, in our state you can take a person to civil court for this, there may be a statute of limitations, I don't know. But I wonder if he should just let it go and cut his losses? I really don't know what to tell him, I understand his anger over it all, I will support him in whatever he does, but I feel strange giving him advice on this matter.

 

My question is would anyone here tell him to go for it? Or tell him to cut his losses?

[alphamale]

My question is would anyone here tell him to go for it? Or tell him to cut his losses?

well, she got the ring under false pretenses and he did pay quite a bit for it. i would tell him to talk with a lawyer to see what his chances are. even if he does win he may not get much. who knows?

[D-Lish]

Stargazer could probably weigh in on this best.

 

But- she could argue that it was a promise ring that he gave to her while waiting for her "impending" divorce.

 

I am not sure how it works with engagement rings- if it is considered a gift or a contract.

 

She could always say your ex told her he wanted her to have it.

 

Of course if he does sue- it's possible he could pay the legal fees, win, only to wind up chasing her for money she might not have.

 

I don't know how it works. It's crappy she did this though.

[Ronni_W]

My question is would anyone here tell him to go for it? Or tell him to cut his losses?

I think you did the wise-smart thing...telling him it is his choice (not a "should" or a "shouldn't".)

 

You could help him make his decision by asking questions for which he'll have to find his own answers: Two years later, what is *really* eating away at him? What is his over-riding feeling that he's looking to eliminate? Is suing her likely to bring him the outcome he most wants?

How will taking her to court enhance his self-image and promote his high self-esteem, confidence and respect, for the long-term? Do the desired, potential benefits outweigh his costs in time, money and emotional energy?

What will he do if he does take her to court, wins his case and STILL doesn't get rid of the feeling(s) that he's hoping to eliminate? What if it goes in his favour but she doesn't have the ring and can't afford to give him a lump sum payment?

 

Or. You could suggest that he hire a counselor for a few sessions for the specific purpose of being helped to uncover the underlying issue/feeling, and arrive at a well-informed, self-aware decision about the plan of action that is most likely to bring him the outcome that he really wants. (There won't be any guarantee, and he'd need to keep that in mind, too, IMO.)

[alphamale]

I am not sure how it works with engagement rings- if it is considered a gift or a contract.

its considered a gift in most jurdistictions

[D-Lish]

its considered a gift in most jurdistictions

 

Then I guess he's be screwed?

[BUENG1]

Hello, my bf had a broken engagement about a year before he met me. His fiance ended it and kept the ring. He asked for it back, but she would not give it to him; so he let it go. It has now been almost 2 years since the engagement took place but has found out the whole time they dated and were engaged; she was legally married to someone else (long story)!

 

Now he is livid thinking how he was took by her. So, he has asked me if I think he should take her to court to try to get the ring back and I have told him that it is his decision. I really do understand his anger since he was duped, but it has been nearly 2 years, and she probably sold it by now.

 

Some background...the first engagement ring he got her, she didn't like, so he took her to the jeweler to pick out a different one. The one she picked was over twice as much. He paid about $5,000 for it.

 

Anyway, in our state you can take a person to civil court for this, there may be a statute of limitations, I don't know. But I wonder if he should just let it go and cut his losses? I really don't know what to tell him, I understand his anger over it all, I will support him in whatever he does, but I feel strange giving him advice on this matter.

 

My question is would anyone here tell him to go for it? Or tell him to cut his losses?

 

Small claims court only cost like $50 to file and if he can take a day off work I'd file. You probably can't collect 5k but the ring probably isn't worth that much anyway. But if I were you I'd stay out of it. I would sue though.

[BUENG1]

its considered a gift in most jurdistictions

 

Conditional gift. Conditional on getting married, so since they didn't he would be entitled to it back.

[ms.immortality]

I feel he is humiliated because they work at the same company and co-workers know what happened. I think he wants her to be accountable for his feeling so foolish. I told him that he is not the one who looks the fool, it is she who looks foolish for this sort of deception.

[Simon Attwood]

Considering he was deceived about the fact that the woman was still married, and the ring was obtained under false pretence, he should at least pursue a legal line of enquiry.

 

And if he does get it back, or it's value, then think of the present he will be able to buy you

[ms.immortality]

Yeah, it was a crappy thing for her to do, now admitting to a mutual friend that she was never legally divorced. He checked into it and found she was indeed still married. It really threw him for a loop...understandably. I just can't believe he didn't figure this out when he was with her. But he trusted her word I guess.

[ms.immortality]

LOL Simon! Not sure I would want a ring bought from pre engagement-ring lawsuit money.

 

In our state an engagement ring is a "conditional" gift. Depending on the one who broke off the engagement and the circumstances you can sue for the ring, or amount it was worth.

[ms.immortality]

In our state it is a "conditional" gift.

[Simon Attwood]

LOL Simon! Not sure I would want a ring bought from pre engagement-ring lawsuit money. .

 

 

Money is money, darling, and presents are presents ... as long as it isn't money obtained by drug smuggling or a prostitution ring .. why complain?

 

[ms.immortality]

Your right Simon, but I am not ready for that big step just yet.

[D-Lish]

Funny, the very same topic was on Judge Judy this morning.

According to the legal analyst, in most states, the law supports the ring being returned if the engagement is broken.

[alphamale]

Judge Judy

[ms.immortality]

Funny, the very same topic was on Judge Judy this morning.

According to the legal analyst, in most states, the law supports the ring being returned if the engagement is broken.

 

LOL @ Judge Judy! It is funny, everytime I think of his situation Judge Judy comes to my mind. I don't even watch the show, but have seen it a few times in the past. She sure is a no nonsense woman!!

[2sure]

He should get the ring back yes. But, you have to also consider whether he will be throwing good money after bad? If he paid 5Gs for it , reselling it might get him 50% of that. From that you may have to deduct filing or court fees. Check that out.