blueyedgrl85 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Over the holidays my friends and I try to get together to exchange presents. I hadn't heard from one of them, "Jenny," so I sent her an e-mail saying that we should meet up and exchange. In response, all she said was "absolutely" but she did not say when she was available. Jenny then became increasingly busy preparing for the arrival of her boyfriend. She did not return any of my phone calls; she called me once while cleaning her house and promised to call me back but never did. She basically disappeared off the face of this planet when her bf came into town. My friends and I were frustrated because we couldn't contact her and since she never responded we decided to just do our own thing. Well, a day before New Year's Eve, Jenny finally resurfaced and we just told her we would meet her for lunch New Year's Day. Well, the day we were supposed to meet her I ended up getting the flu and just going home, but my other friends met up with her and her bf and they told her I wasn't feeling well. She sent me an e-mail how she was mad that I "flaked out" on her and accused me of not wanting to meet her bf. She was also mad that we didn't all hang out on New Year's Eve. I have always been there for her and the only reason I wasn't was because I was very sick. I sent a response apologizing for not being there and said I was looking forward to meeting him the next time he came into town. Why is she so mad? It just seems a bit much, given the fact that she is allowed to disappear, not return calls, whenever we hang out she is always on the phone, she doesn't respond to e-mails, etc. But if I get sick and can't make it or am not available, I'm the bad friend. This doesn't make sense!
quankanne Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 because it's not about you or your needs, it's about Jenny's. Pretty much, the world is supposed to revolve around her, and because you didn't "follow" her plans to meet up, you are in the "wrong." you graciously responded to her accusation of ruining her plans for NYD; I say leave it at that. If she comes to the realization that she's being a horse's patoot, she'll apologies for snapping at you. If she doesn't apologize, or at least acknowledge that you can't really do much when you're ill, I'd lose the "friendship" ... if she cannot deal with things as they come up, then she's really not friend material, IMO
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