vogen Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 My girlfriend left me about a month and a half ago. We would see eachother here and there. But for the most part we never spoke to eachother. Well Basically, I recently found out she has a boyfriend now, mostly because she is my friend on facebook. I feel that I am no longer wishing to hold on, I am no longer willing to hope. She said so many things, lies, when she left. I have sat here waiting and groveling and she basically just walked away. She has a cellphone that is in my name. I plan on cutting it off and will attempt getting the 200 dollar cancellation fee from her. She never took responsibility for her actions. She makes it sound like everything that happened between us was all my fault. Which is entirely false. All of her friends and those that have talked to her thinks she is a saint and I am some monster. Which is so far from the truth, she conveniently leaves out details that places any blame what so ever on herself. She is deceitful, she is a user. I can't figure out why I love her so much or why this is affecting me to this degree. She has done many things wrong, and I have no will to be with her any longer. So why do I still care? Why am I still sad? So basically I am trying to figure out whether I should take her off my face book friends. I think she uses facebook just to get under my skin. She added me shortly after she broke up with me, and proceeded to post how "wonderful" her new life is. It is soul crushing. It is also manipulative and immature. So I was thinking about deleting her off there, getting my cellphone cut off on her end, and trying to get it back. And simply moving on... This whole time, I have known a girl that I have known for 3 years now who has been helping me through all of this. She has truly been a big help and huge support. I have been thinking about dating her, but I thought it would be best if I healed completely first before I jump into a relationship and basically "rebound". Which I can almost promise what my ex is doing, rebounding... Thank all of you for your time.. I could really use some advice and points of view here...
Odyssey Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Damn facebook strikes again. OP if your ex isn't adding anything to your life, cutting her lose might be good thing to do. What have you got to lose? Absolutely nothing, right. Move on...
sean1970 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Sorry to hear this vogen... really... She has a cellphone that is in my name. I plan on cutting it off and will attempt getting the 200 dollar cancellation fee from her. If you are both under the same bill, it should not cost you. If not, and you can afford to, eat the cost. Haggling over this will just cause more angst. She is deceitful, she is a user. I can't figure out why I love her so much or why this is affecting me to this degree. She has done many things wrong, and I have no will to be with her any longer. So why do I still care? Why am I still sad? Natural to have emotions go endless rounds with logic. Time eventually gives the upper hand to the latter. So basically I am trying to figure out whether I should take her off my face book friends. I think she uses facebook just to get under my skin. She added me shortly after she broke up with me, and proceeded to post how "wonderful" her new life is. It is soul crushing. It is also manipulative and immature. Tell me you don't want a window seat to this new life of hers... It is just masochistic voyeurism that you don't need. So I was thinking about deleting her off there, getting my cellphone cut off on her end, and trying to get it back. And simply moving on... Yes, yes, no, yes. This whole time, I have known a girl that I have known for 3 years now who has been helping me through all of this. She has truly been a big help and huge support. I have been thinking about dating her, but I thought it would be best if I healed completely first before I jump into a relationship and basically "rebound". Which I can almost promise what my ex is doing, rebounding... Um... No. You are obviously not ready vogen... And thats ok. I needed everyone in my life when I was first going through this. Hell, think I killed 3 house plants conversing with them (cant be sure it was not Vodka breath or CO2 overdoses). I just made sure I did not end up with more emotional problems with doomed love interests soon after the breakup. Hang in there Vogen...
Ilovecake Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 You're willing to cut her phone off but aren't sure if you should delete her off facebook? Seriously sit back and think about this objectively.
cdt76 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Your case is exactly like mine. Block her on facebook. Cancel the cell phone. It's torture. You torture yourself enough trying to make sense of the lies and making it fit reality, a reality which you will never truly get full closure because she will never be honest about her role and responsibility in the situation. Mine was the same way, everything was my fault, when really, she had already found another and just used whatever excuse she could that wouldn't make her look like a cheater. Why do we still love them? Because they are the image that we envisioned for ourselves growing up. They made us feel in a way which we thought could last forever and though it would only require a little work on either part, she chose to go elsewhere. How do we deal with that? Each is different. How long does it take to stop loving? I don't know. But looking at it everyday is not the way to go. I can only say to you to put in as much work on yourself as you do spending time thinking about her and the past. It's hard and it does not feel good.
GrayClouds Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 (edited) Is it finally time to abandon all hope? A. You relationship...sorry but most likely B. For a great new life, no it is just starting Edited January 4, 2010 by GrayClouds
LovelyDaze Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 A big YES to your thread question. If the bill is in your name, by all means, cut it off. Probably harder to get the actual phone or money back from her but chalk that up as a relationship casualty. It's also a good idea to not sink into a new relationship right now because you are just not ready. It's like having an open wound on your knee and yet you feel a need to crawl on pebbles...not good. And Facebook? Of course you unfriend her. Love is not boastful. She is only trying to push that dagger even deeper into your heart for her own ego's sake. It's sick and malicious. Show her that you own yourself & that you are NOT a fool. Do all: Cut her phone, don't be like her & rebound, and cut her out of Facebook.
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