Nikki Sahagin Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 for me... its more that I find myself competatively comparing my life to my friends, (the majority of whom are in relationships) and feeling that I am a failure or doing something wrong. I keep having anxiety attacks and crying because I feel that there is something I am not doing right. Although I am only 20 and so are the majority of my friends; some are getting engaged, having babies and have been in long relationships. I wonder why I am so 'unlovable' (though I know this is an incorrect perception) that my boyfriend could not fight for me and didn't want these things with me. I tell myself that what is meant to be will be, that I am young & that I have a lot of things to look forward to, but the problem is though I can say it, I can't feel it, I can't believe it, its just a mantra I repeat that means nothing to me. I feel incomplete without a partner and I feel worried. No matter what I do I still feel worried and I think that may be part of my general anxiety disorder but I can't stop having attacks and crying feeling that everyone but me (at least in my close circle) has someone to cuddle up to at night and hold hands with and plan a future with and i'm alone and I feel anxious and inadequate to cope.
Odyssey Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 In order for you to love someone…you must first love yourself. Not everyone is capable of overcoming their own demons and we have things that get thrown at us when we don't have the skills or knowledge to properly handle them, that can cause us to act out in ways that aren't healthy later. Most of the time, you need to get to the root of your problems with someone who you can confide in, who won't shame or blame you...
sean1970 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I feel incomplete without a partner and I feel worried. Don't let it be because you feel 'complete' when you are in a relationship. You want a companion not a puzzle piece. Although I am only 20 and so are the majority of my friends; some are getting engaged, having babies and have been in long relationships. Heaven help them if they are getting married and having babies at 20... ugh...
threebyfate Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 So you're finally getting it, Nikki! I'm sincerely glad to see this happening. It's now time to dig into your family history more, preferably with a counsellor, in a safe environment. WWIU always advocates CBT, which can greatly help with anxiety. This might be a consideration for you.
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 I know its me but the problem is i'm scared to find out whats 'wrong' with me. I don't really have too much time as a uni student with a lot of work to do and I certainly don't have the money and i've noticed if someone tries to help me I go numb or block things out. Its only when i'm alone that I can cry and let it out.
Odyssey Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 TBF my thoughts exactly. OP, seeking professional help is nothing to be ashamed of. The only shame is in not seeking help. You're already reaching out to us. Why not take the next step and reach out to someone who can really help you? Anyway that's all i have to say - good luck Nikki.
threebyfate Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Check into on-campus counselling services. Some might be free. The younger you are, the easier it is to change the way you think and feel.
sean1970 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 (edited) The younger you are, the easier it is to change the way you think and feel. So this is my problem... damn... Edited January 4, 2010 by sean1970
GrayClouds Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 (edited) The most beautiful butterflies take the longest to hatch. Be patient, do not rush your crushes, be kind to yourself. They show up when you are ready. Beside, never in the world has a girl name Nikki been lonely for long. That is a fact, I read it on the internet. Edited January 4, 2010 by GrayClouds
gaudi Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Nikki start a thread asking how many people on here wish they were 20, and see how many of them would want to be looking for relationships !! i guarantee most of the posts would be about doing well at uni/travelling the world/making lifelong friends/discovering themselves. I honestly think that you have nothing to worry about, and you will start to realise this soon. Whatever road you choose to take.....best of luck to you ...x
LovelyDaze Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Don't let it be because you feel 'complete' when you are in a relationship. You want a companion not a puzzle piece. Heaven help them if they are getting married and having babies at 20... ugh... No kidding! About over half of your friends will be here on LS by 25 or 30...count on it!
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