cdt76 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 So my ex cheated on me with a friend of mine. I've developed a deep and lasting hatred for the guy and anyone associated with him. I have to work with them too. So, how do I get beyond a hatred when I'm constantly confronted with it? I'm not talking about just a simple emotion that is fleeting. I'm talking the deep, serious, I want to hurt the guy, hatred.
bananaboat11 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 So my ex cheated on me with a friend of mine. I've developed a deep and lasting hatred for the guy and anyone associated with him. I have to work with them too. So, how do I get beyond a hatred when I'm constantly confronted with it? I'm not talking about just a simple emotion that is fleeting. I'm talking the deep, serious, I want to hurt the guy, hatred. Seek counseling is my best advice. Sorry.
Odyssey Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 OP, if anything...you should be angry with your ex-gf?!? I know they both betrayed your trust, but she's the one that really cheated on you. Just remember...anger is only one letter short of danger. therapy helps. so does endorphins...go beat the crap out of a punch bag. Whatever you do, finding a healthy outlet will help - gotta get it outta ya system man.
GrayClouds Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 So my ex cheated on me with a friend of mine. I've developed a deep and lasting hatred for the guy and anyone associated with him. I have to work with them too. So, how do I get beyond a hatred when I'm constantly confronted with it? I'm not talking about just a simple emotion that is fleeting. I'm talking the deep, serious, I want to hurt the guy, hatred. I understand completely try moving it to piety, the guy like that does not deserve enough energy to hate. If that does not work then take comfort in the fact she will cheat on him too,
LovelyDaze Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I understand completely try moving it to piety, the guy like that does not deserve enough energy to hate. If that does not work then take comfort in the fact she will cheat on him too, GrayClouds is right. Their whole relationship was based on a lie. Nothing will good will come from it. Just stay graceful and classy. Don't act angry or blatantly ignore them. Just do your job and do it well. The greatest revenge is not giving a damn.
Howitzer Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Counseling will probably help a lot. It's ok to be angry at them. They did some sh*tty things. It's important to realize that they're not worth your hate though. No point spending your energy on those worthless fools.
DenverBachelor Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Hate is counter-productive and ultimately a destructive emotion for the person that harbours it. I can understand one that feels the anxiety and depression welling up to hate, but at some point you need to realize that you have a life outside of every other person and you must pursue that. Hating just prolongs the grieving process because you're still expending mental and emotional energy on something in your past. Move on.
Author cdt76 Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 It's really hard. I did take up boxing and took out a lot of negative energy on that but it doesn't go away. Now anyone associated with him, anyone who talks with him at work, I hate and ignore. I have not yet come to the point where I can have pitty on him, nor will I forgive him. Unfortunately, I don't know how long this will last, I only know it has lasted and is more powerful then I ever expected. I hope it goes away soon.
GrayClouds Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Do you feel it as intense with your EX as you do him?
HeavenOrHell Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 They BOTH cheated on her. OP, if anything...you should be angry with your ex-gf?!? I know they both betrayed your trust, but she's the one that really cheated on you. Just remember...anger is only one letter short of danger. therapy helps. so does endorphins...go beat the crap out of a punch bag. Whatever you do, finding a healthy outlet will help - gotta get it outta ya system man.
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