New Again Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Guys, let's say you've either been in a relationship or single/not dating for a couple years or longer. How likely is it that you would have stuff from a previous girl/relationship in plain sight in your bedroom closet that you frequently go into...like, on a daily basis. By "stuff" I don't mean mementos. I mean stuff like clothes or shoes or things that the last girl forgot to take with her. Is it common for this to happen? Is it common for you guys to make any effort whatsoever to return her crap to her? Or to not just throw it away finally?? Or is this a completely ridiculous scenario, and the only possible conclusion is the guy must've cheated and the girl left her shirt or whatever? Girls, if you've been in a relationship for a couple years, how common is it for you to randomly find an "old" shirt in your bf's closet from an old gf?
alphamale Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 How likely is it that you would have stuff from a previous girl/relationship in plain sight in your bedroom closet that you frequently go into...like, on a daily basis. By "stuff" I don't mean mementos. I mean stuff like clothes or shoes or things that the last girl forgot to take with her. its highly likely
harmfulsweetz Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Uncommon. It's not very likely that it's simply a forgotten garment, shoes or whatever from a few years back. He would have got rid of it, she would have picked them up, or been given them back. One way or another, if she's an ex, her stuff ain't going to be taking up closet space.
Kamille Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Been in three LTRs and a few STR and never have I found clothes of previous gfs in any of my exes or current beau's closets. My guess would be that there is still a girl in the picture.
threebyfate Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Is his closet well-organized? Does he clean it out on a regular basis? If he pretty much ignores his closet, he won't be paying any attention to what's in it.
Author New Again Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 Is his closet well-organized? Does he clean it out on a regular basis? If he pretty much ignores his closet, he won't be paying any attention to what's in it. Pretty well organized. There's a couple boxes of stuff he doesn't use on the floor, but other than that, it's the closet he uses the most - where his dry clean stuff goes, so he's in it every single day. He doesn't really have clutter anywhere in his house, including the closet. When I did a quick glance at the floor of my bf's closet to make sure I had all my stuff out I saw a girl's shirt on the floor next to Christmas wrapping paper that obvious has been used very recently. I asked him about it and his first answer was, "It's probably been there a couple years. I don't know. I don't do much cleaning out or anything." Then he said "I saw something recently and just tossed it in the side of my closet. Figured it'd been there awhile so just put it aside." Which I suppose could be true, but he's a very neat person, not the kind to toss some chick's shirt from 2+ years ago back into his closet after he found it somewhere...at least I don't think so.
threebyfate Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 No one who's neat, just tosses something into their closet, on the floor, unless they're in a major hurry and then, forgot about it. Even so, if you saw it, while getting the gift wrapping paper, you would do something about it.
Author New Again Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 No one who's neat, just tosses something into their closet, on the floor, unless they're in a major hurry and then, forgot about it. Even so, if you saw it, while getting the gift wrapping paper, you would do something about it. I'm actually pretty sure I know when he put it there. The other night I came over to pack with him for the weekend so we could share a bag. I think he found it (somewhere) that night and "hid" it from me for some reason. There was definitely no hurry, and definitely no reason for him to not just be like "Oh hey look what I found!" and then toss it in the garbage or something. He definitely knows it's not mine, since he didn't ask me about it, so I think it all seems kind of shady to me. He had put it in a place where it 100% looked like he intentionally put it there to hide it (on the floor, crumpled up next to a box and behind a bag). It wasn't super hidden though, and I think he forgot I left a couple things in his closet, because when I looked at the floor to make sure I got everything out I saw it...not exactly someplace you put something that you "found" and just "tossed aside." There's always a chance it's been there a little longer and I just never noticed, but I was actually in his closet a couple days before we packed, looking for birthday wrapping paper (right where the Christmas paper is) and I didn't see it. I'm pretty positive I would've noticed it then had it been there. I suppose all of this is moot anyways, but I'd like to know if there was something going on.
threebyfate Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Something to consider is the style. You've been dating this guy for years so any t-shirt that isn't a classic style will look dated.
laRubiaBonita Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I suppose all of this is moot anyways, but I'd like to know if there was something going on. no... you just want to validate yourself and your decision to break it off. don't. let it be, and be on your way.
Author New Again Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 Something to consider is the style. You've been dating this guy for years so any t-shirt that isn't a classic style will look dated. Hm good call. I didn't think about that. It's definitely a summer shirt, and I don't think there's anyway he could've been cheating this past summer. Not sure when the style was "in" but it could've been a couple years ago. He had some girl house sitting for him for a couple weeks this last summer, and she left a bunch of her stuff at his house, so when he was returning things I suppose they both could've forgotten the shirt if that's what it's from.
Crazy Magnet Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 As a female I tend to "purge" after a relationship. I don't want their shirts laying around and stuff. Any time I have found "stuff" from a girl there was always something else going on. I once had a friend find panties in her bed that weren't hers and her bf tried to claim some friend of hers must have left them and they got mixed in with the laundry! Yeah, she believed him and actually married him....sigh....glad I'm not her.
New_Life08 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 My bf has all kinds of stuff left from his previous relationship. I don't think it means that much to him, but he does have a tough time getting rid of it. He has put a lot away and keeps saying he is going to dump it on her doorstep. Makes me wonder why he just doesn't drop it at Goodwill. But, to each their own. I got rid of my exes clothes. There is no point to keep it around.
stevejohnson1976 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 i have stuff in my house from old relationships....just to lazy to throw it out... has NOTHING to do with momento's
Author New Again Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 i have stuff in my house from old relationships....just to lazy to throw it out... has NOTHING to do with momento's Well I know it's not a memento or sentimental or anything like that. If I thought that I wouldn't think anything of it. I was wondering more along the lines of if it's common to just have these things around for years and just never do anything about it. My bf is very, very neat, and randomly I found a girl's shirt on the floor of his closet that wasn't there a few days ago, that looked like he was trying to hide it. We've been dating for over 2 years and I know for a fact that he doesn't have any exgf's crap lying around. Other than this shirt, supposedly. His excuse seems kind of lame and shady also. Either way it's probably more like this: no... you just want to validate yourself and your decision to break it off. don't. let it be, and be on your way.
Agoraphobianebula Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 So if it's just laying there crumpled and collecting dust, why doesn't he just throw it out? Is this a passing thing or do you have other reason to be suspicious?
Author New Again Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 So if it's just laying there crumpled and collecting dust, why doesn't he just throw it out? Is this a passing thing or do you have other reason to be suspicious? That's exactly why I find it so odd and shady. He went from saying "I never clean out my closet" to "I saw something recently and just tossed it in the side of my closet. Figured it'd been there awhile so just put it aside." If he doesn't clean it out, how did he find it now, after 2+ years? And if you just recently found it and figured it'd been there awhile, why not just throw it away? Obviously whoever she is doesn't want it back and isn't looking for it at that point. Plus, he definitely didn't just "toss it" to one side. If he "tossed" it it would not have ended up where it was. It was intentionally put there. This is the only "evidence" or anything that's given me a bad feeling. But it's driving me crazy.
confusedmuch Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 What this probably comes down to is whether or not you trust him. If you do, and he says its nothing, just trust that what he says is true unless he gives you reason not to trust him in the future. You're really suspicious of him right now but that will never do any good. Plus he's never going to tell you what you think you want to hear.
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