letitrock40 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I've heard so many mixed things about it, so I'm going to disregard all of the internet articles about it. Does it actually help you to get over someone? I don't mean just sleeping with some random girl for a "rebound", I mean a rebound relationship. I tend to often hear that when you jump into a relationship so soon after a breakup you still have emotional baggage so it's not such a good idea. Is it not a good idea when considering whether the new relationship will last? Or is it not a good idea when considering whether or not it will help you get over your ex. Also, I've heard that when you rebound, you may pick a partner that you wouldn't necessarily choose if you were in a healthy state of mind. How does everyone feel about this? I'm considering rebounding to help me get over my ex, but I don't want to hurt anyone so I'd be upfront with them. Also I'm afraid that it will make it worse and make me not get over my ex. Does anyone have any thoughts or experiences about this?
bananaboat11 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 When rebounding... you're TRYING to push out whatever you had with your previous partner, obviously. Sometimes, you're so distraught over the last breakup you're blind to see any true connection with whomever you are going to be with... thus, a rebound doesn't always clear your mind of the past.. ...rebounds almost never work to your advantage for a successful relationship. Whether you want them too, or not. There is too much of your last relationship in the subconscious (which is why you're in this situation in the first place) to actually make this new found 'relationship' work.. in all sincerity. The rebound is disgusting for your peace of mind... unfair to the rebound person themselves and disrespectful to your ex (if you ever hope for a second chance).... Sorry. I choose to find a hobby you can indulge in... stay with close friends and family... and eventually you'll move on. Time changes nothing. Because doing nothing changes nothing... regardless of time passed. Doing things changes things... and changing things can change you... and your situation (past or present) ultimately affecting your future. good luck
nobmagnet Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I dont think its a great idea until you have found happiness within. I has a rebound marriage. Met in Aug married in Jan. What a blummin mistake was that. I didnt know him he didnt know me. I was a broken winged bird and that appealed to him........When I got better..........he hated it. Treated me like poo until he filed. Its a dangerous gane because when you are weak you fall in love/lust quicker without finding foundations. I would advise flirty nights out, Get cahatted up and have fun but nothing more till your mended............properly. take care nob x
carhill Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Background I would suggest not engaging in a 'rebound relationship', but rather casually dating young ladies. Less serious; more fun. Don't get attached. Be clear about your situation up front. Plenty of young ladies looking for a guy to spend time with casually. When you can go back and read the post I linked and not have any feelings about the ex and the bad boy she's banging, and you are not reminded in any way of her when out with another young lady, then you'll be ready for a more serious relationship, IMO.
DenverBachelor Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 (edited) Background I would suggest not engaging in a 'rebound relationship', but rather casually dating young ladies. Less serious; more fun. Don't get attached. Be clear about your situation up front. Plenty of young ladies looking for a guy to spend time with casually. THIS. x100. Anyone who goes from one long-term relationship into another in less than 3 months (regardless of being the dumper or dumpee) are generally going to be in a world of hurt at some point. You need time to let the dust settle on both sides and clear out emotions and start fresh. Then again, most dumpers leave a LTR because of GIGS. GIGS is just a rebound that comes into the picture usually before the primary relationship ends. That's like catching the ball before it was even thrown. That's having two balls on the court at once and that should be an immediate penalty and ejection of the player. Edited January 4, 2010 by DenverBachelor
sean1970 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 (edited) How do you feel about rebounding? It's not easy as it looks... First, you have to fight very tall men to block-out in the low post (elbows to the face are not uncommon.)... then time your jump so as to reach the ball after it descends from its apex. Edited January 4, 2010 by sean1970
GrayClouds Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 (edited) It's not easy as it looks... First you have to block-out in the post... then time your jump so as to reach the ball after it descends from its apex. Elbows to the face are not uncommon. ^^ Beat me to it:mad: ^^ And as it often does if the rebound ends bad you now double your misery. Now you dealing with two failed relationship to get over because you were distracting yourself and refused to do the hard work on the first time around. And then have a post that say "I didn't even like this person very much but I can understand why I can let go..." Finally it is unfair and possiblely cruel thing to do to someone who is there 100% emotionally. Healthy, mature people do not use other people just to feel better. Edited January 4, 2010 by GrayClouds
Author letitrock40 Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 one thing people say to me with the whole, "less serious, not attached" thing is that at the end of the day, you're still alone, and it doesn't help, while actually being in a relationship, you have everything you lost, so you sleep more comfortable at night knowing you have someone who cares about you...and yeah i understand that its probably going to end bad, but at the same time, if while im with the new girl, i get over my ex, when me n the new girl break up, wouldnt it be easier to get over her, so in the end, i end up better off? am i right or wrong
carhill Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 You're neglecting one important factor. Human beings are not tools nor band-aids nor Neosporin. Try having a rebound relationship with a dog and see how PETA reacts I don't get how you're alone if you're dating casually. If you mean your noodle isn't conveniently wet when your ego wants it to be, yeah, sure. Otherwise, we're alone most of the time, even when we're married. Think about that. Now, there's that thing about someone always thinking of you, but is that real? Even when you're married, you never really know. IDK; I guess, to someone my age, it seems so clear. Wish I could explain it better...
GrayClouds Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 . IDK; I guess, to someone my age, it seems so clear. Wish I could explain it better... I think you did
kyta Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 OK how about this then, if your with some one for 3 years on and off, have taken beatings from your partner then leave him for some one else for 6 months straight away rebound 1 yes? then go back to the first one for another six months, is this rebounding back to your ex? then leave him again for your best friend for 8 and a half months, is this rebounding again?? then go back to your beater, is this rebounding again or just making up again????
soheartbroken Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Does anyone have any thoughts or experiences about this? My take is that it will help you to get over your ex, but it stunts whatever major personal growth could have occurred without the rebound (especially if you are in NC, because my other thought is that major personal growth is more likely to occur with strict NC).
soheartbroken Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 It's not easy as it looks... First, you have to fight very tall men to block-out in the low post (elbows to the face are not uncommon.)... then time your jump so as to reach the ball after it descends from its apex. Laughing out loud. Don't forget to box-out!
carhill Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 OK how about this then, if your with some one for 3 years on and off, have taken beatings from your partner then leave him for some one else for 6 months straight away rebound 1 yes? then go back to the first one for another six months, is this rebounding back to your ex? then leave him again for your best friend for 8 and a half months, is this rebounding again?? then go back to your beater, is this rebounding again or just making up again???? IMO, that's a description for getting clinical therapy
Odyssey Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 OK how about this then, if your with some one for 3 years on and off, have taken beatings from your partner then leave him for some one else for 6 months straight away rebound 1 yes? then go back to the first one for another six months, is this rebounding back to your ex? then leave him again for your best friend for 8 and a half months, is this rebounding again?? then go back to your beater, is this rebounding again or just making up again???? is this for real?!? (sounds like this person rebounded from mistake to the next).
GrayClouds Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 OK how about this then, if your with some one for 3 years on and off, have taken beatings from your partner then leave him for some one else for 6 months straight away rebound 1 yes? then go back to the first one for another six months, is this rebounding back to your ex? then leave him again for your best friend for 8 and a half months, is this rebounding again?? then go back to your beater, is this rebounding again or just making up again???? Rebounding??????? that is the original Wham-o Superball picking up speed! http://store.exploratorium.edu/prodimg/16242.jpg
LovelyDaze Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Rebounding is like putting a band-aid on a severed arm. What's the point?
health Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Let it rock. Rebounds can be positive, or negative. Positive as trasition relationships athat you don't take serious to help heal. Negative as serious ones. Most second marriages fail cause they are rebound. There are many good points here. I like what Denver said. People who rebound - when that relationship ends - the hurt is WAY worse than when the original one ended. The best thing is for people to heal and be happy alone and grow. Also what Bana said - it's disrespectful to your ex. My ex - I left her, but wanted to work on things. I called her right back and said Im commited to working on things - she rebounded 3 days later. It killed me. It's over a year since the break up. Over 9 months n/c - she kept contacing and begging to hear from me. Ha ha - but no! I have been with 2 girls in 2008 since. Little rebound type flings. I still have my ex in my head at times and feel the pain or betrayal. I forgive, but the pain is there. I will completley heal though. My next girl has to be an improvement from my last. Other wise no relationships until then. Oh yeah - Denver what are GIGS?
kyta Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 is this for real?!? (sounds like this person rebounded from mistake to the next). yes this is for real,
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