Vertex Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I tried out EHarmony for the hell of it and got hit with a "How would you plan your romantic evening with someone you've dated for over a year" question. It really got me thinking about whether or not I am actually a romantic person. What the heck does it really mean to be romantic, anyway? Can't I be romantic all-year round? Can one be cliche and still romantic, or does it pay to be original? How do you define a romantic man? Surely it can't be as simple as someone planning a candlelit dinner and a long walk on the beach.
harmfulsweetz Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Hm. I think romantic can be anything thoughtful. i.e. when my ex saw it was dark out, and I was walking alone, he surprised me by meeting me to walk me back. It's not outright romance, but in a way, it was so thoughtful it was. Being thoughtful is more important than being cliched romantic. A candlelit dinner for two is no good if it only happens once a year, and its only done because it was easiest or was all he could think of. A romantic man is one that thinks of his partners needs, and desires, and tries to meet them. It's not all about money, it could be as simple as running a hot bath when it's cold for her, or renting a dvd you know she likes, and ordering pizza. Being thoughtful with little things is important. In the end, big gestures that happen once a year are quickly forgotten, and over with, little small gestures to show you care, done often enough, rarely are forgotten.
Author Vertex Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 (edited) Hm. I think romantic can be anything thoughtful. i.e. when my ex saw it was dark out, and I was walking alone, he surprised me by meeting me to walk me back. It's not outright romance, but in a way, it was so thoughtful it was. Being thoughtful is more important than being cliched romantic. A candlelit dinner for two is no good if it only happens once a year, and its only done because it was easiest or was all he could think of. A romantic man is one that thinks of his partners needs, and desires, and tries to meet them. It's not all about money, it could be as simple as running a hot bath when it's cold for her, or renting a dvd you know she likes, and ordering pizza. Being thoughtful with little things is important. In the end, big gestures that happen once a year are quickly forgotten, and over with, little small gestures to show you care, done often enough, rarely are forgotten. I agree with this 100%, which is why I found this particular question on EHarmony to be difficult. I don't see why "romance" has to be some huge, grand once-a-year thing. It seems a lot more "romantic" and fun to personalize romance... a lot more fun to just be thoughtful and empathetic. I'm honestly not a "candlelight dinner" kind of guy -- I like being romantic in the way you've described above. I think, though, that long walks on a beach/in a city/in a park can be romantic, however cliched. Edited January 4, 2010 by Vertex
harmfulsweetz Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I agree with this 100%, which is why I found this particular question on EHarmony to be difficult. I don't see why "romance" has to be some huge, grand once-a-year thing. It seems a lot more "romantic" and fun to personalize romance... a lot more fun to just be thoughtful and empathetic. I'm honestly not a "candlelight dinner" kind of guy -- I like being romantic in the way you've described above. I think, though, that long walks on a beach/in a city/in a park can be romantic, however cliched. Exactly. I can't see the point in big gestures if it's only done once a year, and if it's more cliched than a chick flick. I would just say you prefer thoughtful gestures done little and often, not just on 'special occasions'.
threebyfate Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I don't think she's looking for the definition of "romance" or what's "romantic". IMO, she's curious to see if you're the type of guy who would take her for granted, after a year, not showing any signs of appreciation. Respond naturally. Your response will help to define to her, your compatibility level.
Jersey Shortie Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 If romance was all about making big gestures and doing it once a year, life would be so boring. I find that romance is less about planned events and more about this little moments that cause you two to connect. one of my fav things to do is cook dinner together. Some music, wine, maybe candle-light. Playfull banter or just talking about our day while we good together can be incredibly fun and romantic. For me I guess romantic = anything that creates true intimacy.
InspiredbyYou Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 A romantic man is one who performs acts of romance "just because". They could be little acts like cupping your face in his hands as you sit next to him doing your own thing and he plants a big kiss on your lips as he tells you how much he loves you, to sending you a surprise text/email in the middle of the day to tell you something romantic or sexy, to bigger acts like sending you flowers at work for no reason at all or planning a weekend getaway for the two.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 To me, romance is about having the ability to place the relationship within a larger context -- to mythologize it on the personal level, based on overlapping loves and passions. For instance, I am a musician, and my last relationship was with a musician. We played music together and wrote songs about each other regularly. It's hard to top the romance of your man playing you a gorgeous song he wrote about you and your love. I was the first musician girlfriend he'd ever had, and he said having music written about him by the woman he loved, for the first time even, was a major head-trip and turn-on. But it doesn't have to be music. Romance can unfold in any shared passion or love: hiking, traveling, cooking, computers, Star Wars, anything. It really doesn't matter WHAT it is. All that matters is that you are both included in the story, and that you help to create it together. So, for me, a romantic act is any that takes one of my/our loves and slightly elevates it out of the everyday to the divine.
prettybaby Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I consider my boyfriend extremely romantic. Mainly because he pays close attention to details. He remembers the smallest things, like when I randomly mention in a conversation that I like something. Then he'll surprise me a few weeks later with that one thing. This year for Christmas, I had so much work I had no time to organize anything. So he organized a Christmas eve meal for the two of us, and made sure everything was perfect. It was so adorable, I just wanted to kiss him
InspiredbyYou Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 didn't get a chance to edit this also in: Putting on some sexy music and slow dancing with you is very romantic. Romantic men are very good at getting women thinking about them. I know, I've had a few romantic men in my life.
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