sadandheartbroken Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I recently seperated from my husband and became friends with a friend of my bro-in-law and sister...he is 22 and I am 31....he was so amazing and sweet and told me he would be there for me thru the tough times. He eventually wanted to pursue a relationship with me and many times I would tell him no. Finally I gave in because he was so nice and sweet...He would text me constantly and would tell me how much he missed me and he would tell me he loved me and would ask me why I wouldnt put my walls down and basically fall for him. So...I did...I fell and fell hard! Things were fine for a while and then he changes his mind and says he doesnt want to be in a relationship but does want to still "get together." I told him I can't be his "friend on call" and we talked and we cried (cheesy, i know) and he seemed to be fine with everthing after that. We still did the same things we did before and acted like a couple. He didnt want me to be with anyone else or anything like that. He would text me asking where I was and who I was with, not in a mean controlling way. But I would tell him that he was who I wanted to be with. New Years, he text me and asks where I am and who I am with...says he misses me. A few days later, he acts, again, like we are friends. He tells me he's not ready for a relationship and stuff like that. I am so freakin confused!! Why would someone beg you to be in a relationship with them, tell you they love you, and lots more things...and then within a couple months act like they never felt these things?? Does he really love me? Is it his age? Is he just scared of being in a relationship with an older woman? What? How do I get over this guy that was so great in the beginning and treated me wonderfully?
Space Ritual Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 You have to realize you are dealing with a 22 year old kid. I would suggest that you date someone a little closer to your own age, maybe someone who has been in a long term relationship before. This kid sounds he wants you to be his test case when it comes to relationships. He will be hot and cold...he sees you as the older woman and the forbidden fruit to some extent. He wants to bang you and keep it on the down low, but does not want you going off with anyone else either, because he is young. simple as that sorry to say but I just don't thing he is emtionally capable of giving you what you need at this point in life. He really hasn't experienced as much as he claims and it is showing. I think if you stay with him he will waver and fence sit on a continuous basis. This will never end. sorry that its happening to you, but please date somebody more mature
Author sadandheartbroken Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 Thanks for the advice...I know that is what I need to do...and I try and I want to but for some reason I can't get him out of my mind. It is probably because he got to me at a very vulnerable time in my life. I mean, it felt good to have someone that young be interested in me and he seemed genuine with his emotions and feelings. I just dont know how to get thru with him. Guess im just weak..haha Its gotten to the point where I think about it constantly! I cant figure out why im good enuf for "that" and not for anything else....
Space Ritual Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 No you are not weak at all. I think that He is weak. he just does not have the maturity you need. I am sorry if you thought I was knocking you...quite the contrary...this guy just does not measure up to YOUR standard and you can do much better.
Author sadandheartbroken Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 No, I didnt think you were knocking me...I am sure what you said is quite true. I know he is weak and I know I should kick him to the curb. Im just the one that doesnt like being mean and doesnt want him mad at me...sounds stupid, i know. Also, I feel like a fool because I feel like he played me good and everyone knows. I know I am better off kicking him to the curb...just dont want to be lonely. It really sucks trying to start over!
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