Jump to content

So I talked to the girl at work today.

one goal

By one goal
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

PinkToes Established Member

PinkToes

Posted
Posted

Let this girl go. She has a boyfriend.

 

Start talking to random girls.

 

Get to know someone as a person before you decide they're girlfriend material.

 

If they do happen to be single and the first time you talk to them, you've already been obsessing about them for months, trust me -- they will know, and it will scare them away.

 

Let this one go.

 

Start talking to random girls.

 

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

  • Author
one goal Established Member

one goal

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Like I worked with the girl for 6 months, and I figured thats long enough and ready to ask her out, tell her how I feel.

 

Is it ok to like ask her if she wants to go to dinner after work "as a friend", or would she consider that a date me asking since she knows how I feel now.

cognac Established Member

cognac

Posted
Posted

I feel for you OP, I'm the same way.

 

Personally I can't say I find a woman "girlfriend material" simply by her looks, which is why the advice of "ask every woman you know out and one will say yes" doesn't really impress me.

 

Personally I take time to find out if I like a girl and if I want her in my life, and I have the same exact problem. I'll meet a cute girl with an awesome personality at school or work, over a period of time find that I like her a lot and get the feeling she likes me back and we get along like peas in a pod, only to find out she has a boyfriend or i'm not her "type", it happens every time. It's incredibly frustrating. Technically, according to the law of averages, sure, if I ask 100 women out, 1 will say yes, but honestly I don't like a woman simply because she's hot ,and I can't force myself to like them either. Not to mention getting rejected 99 times can't be good for my ego or self-esteem.

likestolaugh Established Member

likestolaugh

Posted
Posted

 

Is it ok to like ask her if she wants to go to dinner after work "as a friend", or would she consider that a date me asking since she knows how I feel now.

 

 

NO. But don't worry, no matter how many other people tell you this, you still won't get it.

PinkToes Established Member

PinkToes

Posted
Posted
Like I worked with the girl for 6 months, and I figured thats long enough and ready to ask her out, tell her how I feel.

 

Is it ok to like ask her if she wants to go to dinner after work "as a friend", or would she consider that a date me asking since she knows how I feel now.

 

Dude, we're trying to help you here.

 

You didn't just see a girl you were attracted to and spend a little time getting up the courage to ask her out.

 

You built something up in your head about this particular girl over that time; how much you liked her, how she'd make a perfect girlfriend. That's different. It isn't real. It's an obsession.

 

How do I know this? Because you still won't let go. She's got a boyfriend, and you're still trying to hook up with her.

 

You don't want to have dinner with her as A FRIEND, you want to pretend it's a date and hope she feels the same way.

 

LET HER GO.

 

My advice about talking to random girls has to do with getting to know them before you start obsessing about them. Then if you do find there's a mutual attraction, you've got a better chance of not getting rejected.

SOLACEMENT Established Member

SOLACEMENT

Posted
Posted
Like I worked with the girl for 6 months, and I figured thats long enough and ready to ask her out, tell her how I feel.

 

Is it ok to like ask her if she wants to go to dinner after work "as a friend", or would she consider that a date me asking since she knows how I feel now.

Yes....since that is what you want to hear...sigh

  • Author
one goal Established Member

one goal

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Yes....since that is what you want to hear...sigh

 

Are you serious or just being sarcastic?

SOLACEMENT Established Member

SOLACEMENT

Posted
Posted
Are you serious or just being sarcastic?

NO I am just being serious<------ Hence the sarcasm text

 

No I am not serious ...OK

 

Leave the girl alone

  • Author
one goal Established Member

one goal

Posted
  • Author
Posted
NO I am just being serious<------ Hence the sarcasm text

 

No I am not serious ...OK

 

Leave the girl alone

 

Not even flirt, joke with her?

ella23 Established Member

ella23

Posted
Posted
Not even flirt, joke with her?

Look for other women, leave her alone.

Trimmer Established Member

Trimmer

Posted
Posted
Not even flirt, joke with her?

 

She said no. Leave her alone.

 

Read carefully. You lack an ability to read interpersonal situations. And that very fact means that you may not even understand what I'm talking about here. But I'm hoping that deficit doesn't prevent you from seeing patterns:

 

What happened when you were warned that Katherine McPhee didn't want your attention, and you persisted anyway? You got into trouble. Doesn't matter, at this moment, whether you understand it or not - you didn't stop and that caused you trouble.

 

What happened when you were interested in the arena usher at the hockey game, and we warned you that you were going too far and you should leave her alone, and you persisted anyway? You got into trouble. It doesn't matter whether you understand it or not: you didn't stop and it got you into trouble.

 

This woman has told you she has a boyfriend, and she's not interested. We are telling you that to persist in showing attention to this woman will possibly get you into trouble. (And this isn't a hockey ticket - this is potentially your job at stake here.) Even if you can't understand it from an interpersonal point of view, do you see the pattern?

SOLACEMENT Established Member

SOLACEMENT

Posted
Posted
She said no. Leave her alone.

 

Read carefully. You lack an ability to read interpersonal situations. And that very fact means that you may not even understand what I'm talking about here. But I'm hoping that deficit doesn't prevent you from seeing patterns:

 

What happened when you were warned that Katherine McPhee didn't want your attention, and you persisted anyway? You got into trouble. Doesn't matter, at this moment, whether you understand it or not - you didn't stop and that caused you trouble.

 

What happened when you were interested in the arena usher at the hockey game, and we warned you that you were going too far and you should leave her alone, and you persisted anyway? You got into trouble. It doesn't matter whether you understand it or not: you didn't stop and it got you into trouble.

 

This woman has told you she has a boyfriend, and she's not interested. We are telling you that to persist in showing attention to this woman will possibly get you into trouble. (And this isn't a hockey ticket - this is potentially your job at stake here.) Even if you can't understand it from an interpersonal point of view, do you see the pattern?

 

I am pretty sure all he is going to get out of your message is that third time is the charm..:lmao:

  • Author
one goal Established Member

one goal

Posted
  • Author
Posted

So I came across her Myspace and based on reading it shes cheated on her bf recently based on her comments back and forth calling each other whores, ect.

 

So does this mean maybe there is a shot then at least at getting some?

  • Author
one goal Established Member

one goal

Posted
  • Author
Posted
So I came across her Myspace and based on reading it shes cheated on her bf recently based on her comments back and forth calling each other whores, ect.

 

So does this mean maybe there is a shot then at least at getting some?

 

Also to add based on reading it shes still seeing him though, but since it means shes willing to cheat is there anything ethically wrong with trying to pursue her again?

Trimmer Established Member

Trimmer

Posted
Posted
Also to add based on reading it shes still seeing him though, but since it means shes willing to cheat is there anything ethically wrong with trying to pursue her again?

 

I can't believe myself, that I tried to make sense of this one more time.

 

Trickle, trickle, sssshhhh, squeak, rub rub rub.

 

That's the sound of me washing my hands of this.

likestolaugh Established Member

likestolaugh

Posted
Posted
Also to add based on reading it shes still seeing him though, but since it means shes willing to cheat is there anything ethically wrong with trying to pursue her again?

 

 

Although I really suspect you're a troll.... if you're not you should immediately seek psychological help. And LEAVE THE GIRL ALONE. Can't you understand that????

boogieboy Established Member

boogieboy

Posted
Posted
Also to add based on reading it shes still seeing him though, but since it means shes willing to cheat is there anything ethically wrong with trying to pursue her again?

 

You dont have the skills to get a woman like this to cheat on her bf for you. Not only will she laugh at you, it wont happen. Find a single girl.

thatguy85 Established Member

thatguy85

Posted
Posted

Asking if someone has a boyfriend/girlfriend is an absolute amateur move, and sets you up to look dumb if the answer is yes. If the answer is yes, it gets immediately awkward after that.

 

I told you in your other thread to just have a NORMAL and friendly convo with her. Get her laughing, smiling and then just tell her you think shes funny and that "we should hang out sometime". Someone else gave you great advice and just ask her to grab some lunch with you. Once you have a couple of decent conversations under your belt, you will then know if she has a boyfriend and if she is into you WHATSOEVER.

thatguy85 Established Member

thatguy85

Posted
Posted
You dont have the skills to get a woman like this to cheat on her bf for you. Not only will she laugh at you, it wont happen. Find a single girl.

 

 

haha... I was thinking the same thing.

ella23 Established Member

ella23

Posted
Posted
Also to add based on reading it shes still seeing him though, but since it means shes willing to cheat is there anything ethically wrong with trying to pursue her again?

 

Are you serious? Of course it's wrong. Stop obsessing about her and go find other (single) women.

  • Author
one goal Established Member

one goal

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Are you serious? Of course it's wrong. Stop obsessing about her and go find other (single) women.

 

Why is it wrong though if shes willing to cheat?

  • Author
one goal Established Member

one goal

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Im just getting tired of this. Every girl I like ends up having a boyfriend.

 

Could she have me fired if I keep hitting on her?

thatguy85 Established Member

thatguy85

Posted
Posted
Im just getting tired of this. Every girl I like ends up having a boyfriend.

 

Could she have me fired if I keep hitting on her?

 

 

Are you serious? Hostile Working Environment Sexual Harassment can not only get you fired but prosecuted. You sound like a creep.

  • Author
one goal Established Member

one goal

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Are you serious? Hostile Working Environment Sexual Harassment can not only get you fired but prosecuted. You sound like a creep.

 

Prosecuted? Id assume only if you touched her. Just hitting on her cant get you arrested.

thatguy85 Established Member

thatguy85

Posted
Posted
Prosecuted? Id assume only if you touched her. Just hitting on her cant get you arrested.

 

 

Oh my mistake... yeah go for it then.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...