little_bear Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I cannot stop these fantasies that he will call/text or make contact in some way!! I know that he won't. I know he doesn't care about me but my brain will not stop day dreaming about it! Its so frustrating. How do I pound that info in there??!!?!
Vampire Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I'm doing the same thing after 68 days NC. Once upon a time, I'd think and she'd phone. Now? Nothing. I don't think there's a way to deal with it. In honesty, I try and think of how she has treated me like **** and I try and convince myself of it, but then I look at the phone and think "Will you ever phone me again?" I think you just have to go through the emotional process. Too much supression equals a later explosion I believe.
Author little_bear Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 Its only been 8 days for me. I know we'll run into each other sooner or later as we hang out at the same bars. I don't know if I'm dreading or hoping for this meeting. I dread seeing him out with another girl though.
bananaboat11 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I'm doing the same thing after 68 days NC. Once upon a time, I'd think and she'd phone. Now? Nothing. I don't think there's a way to deal with it. In honesty, I try and think of how she has treated me like **** and I try and convince myself of it, but then I look at the phone and think "Will you ever phone me again?" I think you just have to go through the emotional process. Too much supression equals a later explosion I believe. I like to believe that, too. I honestly do ONT believe someone could be intimate with someone and then push someone out completely... to be cold, cruel, and heartless. Temporarily... fine. In all honesty... I truly believe... it's been 3 months since my ex and I have had NC after a 5 month relationship (I know, short and doesn't compare to yours)... but I know she was as hurt as me.. even though she won't admit it or display these thoughts... her emotions are thick... ...she wants to know I want her. Eventually... the violence in their heart will break them down. And they will want us to recognize their beauty is not just a mask.. that there is more to them... and the NC will be broken. It's just a matter of time. I truly believe regardless of being the dumper or dumpee... both parties question their worth and value in the relationship. The dumper usually copes differently though... I know my ex is partying it up... fine,but I also know she'll grow weary of what she did before and why I came into her life... ..I believe the same may apply to you, although the situation will be different.
LovelyDaze Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I like to believe that, too. I honestly do ONT believe someone could be intimate with someone and then push someone out completely... to be cold, cruel, and heartless. Temporarily... fine. In all honesty... I truly believe... it's been 3 months since my ex and I have had NC after a 5 month relationship (I know, short and doesn't compare to yours)... but I know she was as hurt as me.. even though she won't admit it or display these thoughts... her emotions are thick... ...she wants to know I want her. Eventually... the violence in their heart will break them down. And they will want us to recognize their beauty is not just a mask.. that there is more to them... and the NC will be broken. It's just a matter of time. I truly believe regardless of being the dumper or dumpee... both parties question their worth and value in the relationship. The dumper usually copes differently though... I know my ex is partying it up... fine,but I also know she'll grow weary of what she did before and why I came into her life... ..I believe the same may apply to you, although the situation will be different. I can attest to what you have just wrote. My ex came back a few times wanting me back but the thing is...it didn't mean anything or change the fact that he was the same person who dumped me. He'd text, call and e-mail..God, I jumped up and down like an idiot. I am still not with him.Why? Because I actually love myself more and I don't want him hurting me for the 206th time in a row. A simple phone call from an ex...trust me..it's never simple or ever good.
ginyi1111 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 LOL im the same myself. My ex has gone NC the day he dumped me on skype. So after going through all the emotions i.e. rage, despair, indignant, I find that at times I enjoy my fantasies of the things I would say to him when he tries to contact me and how I would tell him to f*** off
bananaboat11 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 LOL im the same myself. My ex has gone NC the day he dumped me on skype. So after going through all the emotions i.e. rage, despair, indignant, I find that at times I enjoy my fantasies of the things I would say to him when he tries to contact me and how I would tell him to f*** off heh, I was dumped by her via facebook... I believe I was a 5 month rebound for the girl, but I know she still thinks about me. I tried to reestablish a connection after 3 weeks NC... but that did NOT go down well... it's been an additional 6 weeks now. Nothing. I'm betting in 8-12 months i'll hear from her. Will I be there to answer? Probably not... and I bet you 1000000000.00 I'll STILL care about her, too.
bluestraps Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Anything can happen in relationships. Depending on what happens with your ex there may be a change in heart. But it is true there is nothing you can do .Our emotions are what they are. I can only advise to do some things you enjoy to get your mind off it. . Maybe dont go to bars you go to for a while.I had very strong feelings like this too. I thought my ex would call me and tell me they made a mistake and made a rash decision, and wanted to try again . It's been 16 weeks almost and its not happened yet like that ,but it doesnt mean it will not happen . As we have seen relationships are problematic and some times it takes longer for a end to themBut a warning, right now you have your hopes up. If you dont get a call you can end up staying stacked in the past and you will feel even worse
Vampire Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 You know, the internet has stripped some of their humanity. Dumped via text; email; Skype; Facebook; Myspace etc There's a sense of complete disconnection. Even the phone seems to take a backseat to a single serving of 'social networking'. I've written letters. Love letters you could call them, where I've poured my hopes and dreams out over pages, in the hope that my handwriting creates some form of connection, over the blank expanse of print. This cold hearted level of disconnection, is like being fired via a Post-It note. Just when did people lose sense of respect to such a degree? One of the last things I ever wrote for my ex, was a poem that I stuck to the inside of her wardrobe. Handwritten. I'm hoping - in fact I know that you will all understand the sentiment. She just thought it was 'so sweet' - it was actually a heartfelt plea. "Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,Enwrought with golden and silver light,The blue and the dim and the dark clothsOf night and light and the half light,I would spread the cloths under your feet:But I, being poor, have only my dreams;I have spread my dreams under your feet;Tread softly because you tread on my dreams." ~W.B.Yeats
gaudi Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Well I've never read much Yeats, I really like Sylvia Plath. But that one you used is GOOD!! However I couldn't agree with this line more... This cold hearted level of disconnection, is like being fired via a Post-It note. God I hate Facebook
bananaboat11 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Well I've never read much Yeats, I really like Sylvia Plath. But that one you used is GOOD!! However I couldn't agree with this line more... God I hate Facebook So do I... now
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