TheLoneSock Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Interesting comments. I guess because I can pick and choose who I date I suck for some reason? Lol, I figured the point would fly way over your head.
meerkat stew Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 All of my friends went out of their way to talk to Guy #1. I've got a bubbly bunch of friends, especially after a glass or two of wine. Every time they would start to talk to him, or whenever the guys would ask him to play pool and chat, he would whip out his cell phone and start texting. He was the convo killer, not my friends. He even ran away when we took groups pictures. (mostly I think he doesn't want them to show up on facebook for whatever reason.) I get that it was our job to make him comfortable. But it was not my job to babysit him in between texting someone else. Any time I tried to hold his hand or touch him, he would pull back. It wasn't an experiment, but my friends treat each other as family since we are all transplants to the area. I need someone who will also fit in the group. He didn't fit in at ALL! OK, well this post completely changes the nature of your OP. No idea why you would have omitted such important details? as they are not that lengthy.
meerkat stew Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 "Socially valuable men with self-respect don't put up with being "tested" in this manner." *sigh* Socially valuable men make themselves look good to their date's friend's so they get their date's approval and so then get their friend's numbers... And why, exactly, would someone who was socially valuable and had self-respect need to "get their date's approval" to get her friends' numbers? A school buddy of mine got annoyed when his fiance' really got into Sex and the City. I asked him what the big deal was, and he said it bothered him because the show portrayed main characters with lots of obnoxious personality traits running these transparent machinations and games on the men in their lives, who were universally "fooled" by the "crafty" women. The essence of his complaint was that "they don't realize the extent to which we see right through lots of that crap." We laughed because it was just TV, but realized the truth in it. We aren't stupid, and don't respond well to rather obvious tests. No one, male or female, does, nor should they have to. Based on OP's tone about these guys, it's fairly obvious she has talked to her friends in advance about both of them, and stated her intent to test them. Even a chimp thrown into this kind of laboratory could see through it, and becoming annoyed seems reasonable in a situation like this.
Johnny M Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I introduced both guys to all my friends over the past week. I wanted to see how they both interacted with my friends before I really started to narrow things down. I sort of edged away from Guy #1 and watched how he interacted with everyone. He looks miserable!! He didn't interact with anyone, and then blamed his lack of attention and affection towards me on the fact that my friends boyfriends/fiance/husbands were "quiet." Huh? Does that even make sense? I was going to invite him to my birthday, but he didn't even bother to give me a kiss at midnight on NYE and left without a good bye. I had asked him to stay the night (I gotta know if he snores) and thought that was the plan. But he basically just walked out the front door without a word. So I pretty much wrote him off the list. Now he's sending me all these weird texts about how I seem not interested. So strange, and he's starting to seem manipulative. I see why he's never gotten remarried after 10 years. He's NUTS. This is so messed up, I'm at a loss for words. You invite a guy over and then leave him alone with a bunch of people he doesn't know so that you could watch "interact"? Who does that? You totally ruined the guy's New Year Eve by turning it into some kind of a job interview and you're surprised that he felt uncomfortable? Really? How would you feel if he put you in the same position? By the way, did you tell "Guy #3" about your "selection process"? I wonder if he'd still be interested if he knew.
Johnny M Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 i think guy #1 got shafted More like dodged the bullet.
You'reasian Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 And why, exactly, would someone who was socially valuable and had self-respect need to "get their date's approval" to get her friends' numbers?. A school buddy of mine got annoyed when his fiance' really got into Sex and the City. I asked him what the big deal was, and he said it bothered him because the show portrayed main characters with lots of obnoxious personality traits running these transparent machinations and games on the men in their lives, who were universally "fooled" by the "crafty" women. The essence of his complaint was that "they don't realize the extent to which we see right through lots of that crap." We laughed because it was just TV, but realized the truth in it. We aren't stupid, and don't respond well to rather obvious tests. No one, male or female, does, nor should they have to. Based on OP's tone about these guys, it's fairly obvious she has talked to her friends in advance about both of them, and stated her intent to test them. Even a chimp thrown into this kind of laboratory could see through it, and becoming annoyed seems reasonable in a situation like this. Avoid loud, obnoxious, self-entitled women if you are looking for something serious.
You'reasian Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Interesting comments. I guess because I can pick and choose who I date I suck for some reason? Guy #3 is Mr. Wonderful based on lots of face to face time, which were enhanced by his interaction with my friends. And yeah, getting on with my friends is a want, but since I'm picking, I can pick and choose the guy who fits with me best. I was unaware this was a negative thing. Do I think highly of myself, sure, I'm confident in who I am. I'm not a doormat, and I don't date doormats either. I'll let you all know how it turns out. Nothing wrong with picking who you want to date. How much work have you put into yourself or are you too damn good? lol
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