Crazy Magnet Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 I introduced both guys to all my friends over the past week. I wanted to see how they both interacted with my friends before I really started to narrow things down. I sort of edged away from Guy #1 and watched how he interacted with everyone. He looks miserable!! He didn't interact with anyone, and then blamed his lack of attention and affection towards me on the fact that my friends boyfriends/fiance/husbands were "quiet." Huh? Does that even make sense? I was going to invite him to my birthday, but he didn't even bother to give me a kiss at midnight on NYE and left without a good bye. I had asked him to stay the night (I gotta know if he snores) and thought that was the plan. But he basically just walked out the front door without a word. So I pretty much wrote him off the list. Now he's sending me all these weird texts about how I seem not interested. So strange, and he's starting to seem manipulative. I see why he's never gotten remarried after 10 years. He's NUTS. Guy #3 met all my friends last night. And they ADORED him. He interacted and laughed with everyone. Snuggled and kissed on me. Even put up with my amazingly drunk BFF telling him that he needs to ask me to be his gf. lol And unlike the other guy he did NOT run away at the end of the night. He stayed and snuggled and kissed on me until the sun came up and then we slept most of the day. And he doesn't snore. The official friend vote is in, Guy #3 wins by a land slide! Plus he gets my vote too. Now I just get to sit here and decide if I want to bring up the bf/gf talk, or wait for him to do it. Thank you online dating. I think I've met my Mr. Wonderful. And he's coming back in an hour to take me out to eat dinner, and he agreed to hang out with my friends again tomorrow night. I love the giddy school girl phase of a relationship.
jerbear Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Congrats to number 3 for surviving the Crazy Magnet's level 1 elimination course!
xXMarlboro_ManXx Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 I'd though we'd get to vote on who you choose . Good luck with #3 though.
meerkat stew Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Why would #1 be expected to "interact" with your friends? They should be going out of their way to make -him- feel welcome, as he is a stranger and guest. In his shoes, I would have seen through your sociological experiment and wouldn't have kissed you either if I even hung around til midnight. Or better still, I would have tried to hook up with one of your more "fun" and less structured female friends not so intent on using NYE as a test tube. Socially valuable men with self-respect don't put up with being "tested" in this manner. I'm sorry, but you come off quite rude here. Is there more to the story than what you typed? #3 sounds like a good trained seal, you will be bored with him in 1.5 months.
bwidger Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 So this is what happens when women have too much options...(sigh)...men become experiements...how ****ing sad is that? Oh, but, still I wish you and your new BF the best!
Hot Carl Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Men have always been experiments. It's nothing new.
Citizen Erased Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Seems like a strange way to go about things but good luck with number 3.
TheLoneSock Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I introduced both guys to all my friends over the past week. I wanted to see how they both interacted with my friends before I really started to narrow things down. I sort of edged away from Guy #1 and watched how he interacted with everyone. He looks miserable!! He didn't interact with anyone, and then blamed his lack of attention and affection towards me on the fact that my friends boyfriends/fiance/husbands were "quiet." Huh? Does that even make sense? I was going to invite him to my birthday, but he didn't even bother to give me a kiss at midnight on NYE and left without a good bye. I had asked him to stay the night (I gotta know if he snores) and thought that was the plan. But he basically just walked out the front door without a word. So I pretty much wrote him off the list. Now he's sending me all these weird texts about how I seem not interested. So strange, and he's starting to seem manipulative. I see why he's never gotten remarried after 10 years. He's NUTS. Guy #3 met all my friends last night. And they ADORED him. He interacted and laughed with everyone. Snuggled and kissed on me. Even put up with my amazingly drunk BFF telling him that he needs to ask me to be his gf. lol And unlike the other guy he did NOT run away at the end of the night. He stayed and snuggled and kissed on me until the sun came up and then we slept most of the day. And he doesn't snore. The official friend vote is in, Guy #3 wins by a land slide! Plus he gets my vote too. Now I just get to sit here and decide if I want to bring up the bf/gf talk, or wait for him to do it. Thank you online dating. I think I've met my Mr. Wonderful. And he's coming back in an hour to take me out to eat dinner, and he agreed to hang out with my friends again tomorrow night. I love the giddy school girl phase of a relationship. And what are you doing for guy #3 throughout all this? He's graciously jumped through hoops. What about you?
Author Crazy Magnet Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 All of my friends went out of their way to talk to Guy #1. I've got a bubbly bunch of friends, especially after a glass or two of wine. Every time they would start to talk to him, or whenever the guys would ask him to play pool and chat, he would whip out his cell phone and start texting. He was the convo killer, not my friends. He even ran away when we took groups pictures. (mostly I think he doesn't want them to show up on facebook for whatever reason.) I get that it was our job to make him comfortable. But it was not my job to babysit him in between texting someone else. Any time I tried to hold his hand or touch him, he would pull back. It wasn't an experiment, but my friends treat each other as family since we are all transplants to the area. I need someone who will also fit in the group. He didn't fit in at ALL!
homersheineken Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Why would #1 be expected to "interact" with your friends? They should be going out of their way to make -him- feel welcome, as he is a stranger and guest. In his shoes, I would have seen through your sociological experiment and wouldn't have kissed you either if I even hung around til midnight. Or better still, I would have tried to hook up with one of your more "fun" and less structured female friends not so intent on using NYE as a test tube. Socially valuable men with self-respect don't put up with being "tested" in this manner. I'm sorry, but you come off quite rude here. Is there more to the story than what you typed? #3 sounds like a good trained seal, you will be bored with him in 1.5 months. "Socially valuable men with self-respect don't put up with being "tested" in this manner." *sigh* Socially valuable men make themselves look good to their date's friend's so they get their date's approval and so then get their friend's numbers...
Hot Carl Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I generally invite people to come hang out with me and my friends because I like them and want them there. And they accept based on that. Having an ulterior motive for doing it strikes me as a bit deceptive. Kind of manipulative. I doubt guy #1 ever really had a chance, and you should have known that. Having your friends make the choice for you seems a little bit odd.
Author Crazy Magnet Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 I generally invite people to come hang out with me and my friends because I like them and want them there. And they accept based on that. Having an ulterior motive for doing it strikes me as a bit deceptive. Kind of manipulative. I doubt guy #1 ever really had a chance, and you should have known that. Having your friends make the choice for you seems a little bit odd. Actually, I liked Guy #1 more until I saw how he treated my friends. I would NEVER whip out my phone and text away when meeting my crush's friends for the first time. I'd give them all my undivided attention. I may not have the most conventional way to go about dating, but I do cover all my bases before picking someone I think I am most compatible with. My goal here is long term stability and happiness.
TheLoneSock Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 (edited) He even ran away when we took groups pictures. (mostly I think he doesn't want them to show up on facebook for whatever reason.) And why would he? Pictures with a girl you're 'seeing' is symbolic. The fact that he felt uncomfortable there coupled with being pressured into taking pics with everyone, no wonder he bolted. You don't take pictures with a girl when you're just starting to date, that's weird. Your name and avatar are good fits for you. Crazy and Loco. You smothered him and then got confused when he didn't like it! Additionally, if he knew he was being tested, that is enough to make any guy leave. People in general, not just guys, dislike being indiscriminately tested. Edited January 4, 2010 by TheLoneSock typo
You'reasian Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 All of my friends went out of their way to talk to Guy #1. I've got a bubbly bunch of friends, especially after a glass or two of wine. Every time they would start to talk to him, or whenever the guys would ask him to play pool and chat, he would whip out his cell phone and start texting. He was the convo killer, not my friends. He even ran away when we took groups pictures. (mostly I think he doesn't want them to show up on facebook for whatever reason.) I get that it was our job to make him comfortable. But it was not my job to babysit him in between texting someone else. Any time I tried to hold his hand or touch him, he would pull back. It wasn't an experiment, but my friends treat each other as family since we are all transplants to the area. I need someone who will also fit in the group. He didn't fit in at ALL! That sucks. I like to put up photos of my outings on facebook, even being close, arm and arm and stuff. Too much fun!
You'reasian Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 And what are you doing for guy #3 throughout all this? He's graciously jumped through hoops. What about you? She thinks highly of herself?
TheLoneSock Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 i think guy #1 got shafted Maybe, but then again probably not. I think he dodged a bullet. Guy #3 though, he's doomed to at least a few more months of tricks and hoop jumping before he either gets sick of it or she gets bored with him.
TheLoneSock Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 She thinks highly of herself? Yeah... sorry but that's not enough lol.
You'reasian Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Maybe, but then again probably not. I think he dodged a bullet. Guy #3 though, he's doomed to at least a few more months of tricks and hoop jumping before he either gets sick of it or she gets bored with him. In her relationship, its probably about her wants and needs. The kind where having a backbone is a problem and nothing works two ways?
TheLoneSock Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 In her relationship' date=' its probably about her wants and needs. The kind where having a backbone is a problem and nothing works two ways?[/quote'] I'd hate to assume such a thing, since I barely know the OP - and I know you would hate to as well - but based on what we know, I think we have to.
CLC2008 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I introduced both guys to all my friends over the past week. I wanted to see how they both interacted with my friends before I really started to narrow things down. I sort of edged away from Guy #1 and watched how he interacted with everyone. He looks miserable!! He didn't interact with anyone, and then blamed his lack of attention and affection towards me on the fact that my friends boyfriends/fiance/husbands were "quiet." Huh? Does that even make sense? I was going to invite him to my birthday, but he didn't even bother to give me a kiss at midnight on NYE and left without a good bye. I had asked him to stay the night (I gotta know if he snores) and thought that was the plan. But he basically just walked out the front door without a word. So I pretty much wrote him off the list. Now he's sending me all these weird texts about how I seem not interested. So strange, and he's starting to seem manipulative. I see why he's never gotten remarried after 10 years. He's NUTS. Guy #3 met all my friends last night. And they ADORED him. He interacted and laughed with everyone. Snuggled and kissed on me. Even put up with my amazingly drunk BFF telling him that he needs to ask me to be his gf. lol And unlike the other guy he did NOT run away at the end of the night. He stayed and snuggled and kissed on me until the sun came up and then we slept most of the day. And he doesn't snore. The official friend vote is in, Guy #3 wins by a land slide! Plus he gets my vote too. Now I just get to sit here and decide if I want to bring up the bf/gf talk, or wait for him to do it. Thank you online dating. I think I've met my Mr. Wonderful. And he's coming back in an hour to take me out to eat dinner, and he agreed to hang out with my friends again tomorrow night. I love the giddy school girl phase of a relationship. You gather he is "Mr. Wonderful" because of how he interacted with your friends in this one instance? This sounds like a "want" versus an actual "need".
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Now I just get to sit here and decide if I want to bring up the bf/gf talk, or wait for him to do it. Whoa. Slow down. Let him bring it up.
Author Crazy Magnet Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 Interesting comments. I guess because I can pick and choose who I date I suck for some reason? Guy #3 is Mr. Wonderful based on lots of face to face time, which were enhanced by his interaction with my friends. And yeah, getting on with my friends is a want, but since I'm picking, I can pick and choose the guy who fits with me best. I was unaware this was a negative thing. Do I think highly of myself, sure, I'm confident in who I am. I'm not a doormat, and I don't date doormats either. I'll let you all know how it turns out.
Author Crazy Magnet Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 Whoa. Slow down. Let him bring it up. Oh, he brought it up. I had a sneaky feeling it was coming.
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