Lion Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 We are both 24 years old, she stopped the 3yr relationship over 2 weeks ago. Reasons: -She isn't sure we are strong enough - she thinks we are fundamentally different - we argued, I shouted at her - she got upset - she says she is a highly sensitive person -The reason we argued is because her parents are getting divorced, this has put stress on both of us as I (did) work for her dad. I resigned the day after she stopped the relationship. -I have told her I love her, that she is very special to me, for 1 week I was there for her, trying to comfort her, two people she knows recently passed away. I offered her advice on how to be proactive, she tried to shake it off but every morning she wakes up feeling down. SO you could say this is one of the toughest times for her. -After a week of trying to be there for her I accepted her decision and wished her the best for the future. We exchanged Christmas presents. I felt at the time I just wanted to let her know that things will get better and that I want to help her. I asked her if she wanted to see other people, it took her a long time to say anything. I told her that I hope she finds the right person for her and that she is happy. She told me if I find the right girl just GO for it. I told her that I'm ok and I do not want to try and change her mind, just want her to be happy. I told her how much I enjoyed the past 3yrs and how amazing she has been to me. She kept saying how much she was going to regret this and how much she still loves me. We have been NC for 1 week. Yesterday she tagged some new photos of me on facebook. Today she brought my stuff round from her place and left it outside without me knowing. I will keep NC, I am getting stronger as a person. If I let her go, she will decide what she wants.
alphamale Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 thats a shame, you sound like a really nice guy
You'reasian Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 We are both 24 years old, she stopped the 3yr relationship over 2 weeks ago. Reasons: -She isn't sure we are strong enough - she thinks we are fundamentally different - we argued, I shouted at her - she got upset - she says she is a highly sensitive person -The reason we argued is because her parents are getting divorced, this has put stress on both of us as I (did) work for her dad. I resigned the day after she stopped the relationship. -I have told her I love her, that she is very special to me, for 1 week I was there for her, trying to comfort her, two people she knows recently passed away. I offered her advice on how to be proactive, she tried to shake it off but every morning she wakes up feeling down. SO you could say this is one of the toughest times for her. -After a week of trying to be there for her I accepted her decision and wished her the best for the future. We exchanged Christmas presents. I felt at the time I just wanted to let her know that things will get better and that I want to help her. I asked her if she wanted to see other people, it took her a long time to say anything. I told her that I hope she finds the right person for her and that she is happy. She told me if I find the right girl just GO for it. I told her that I'm ok and I do not want to try and change her mind, just want her to be happy. I told her how much I enjoyed the past 3yrs and how amazing she has been to me. She kept saying how much she was going to regret this and how much she still loves me. We have been NC for 1 week. Yesterday she tagged some new photos of me on facebook. Today she brought my stuff round from her place and left it outside without me knowing. I will keep NC, I am getting stronger as a person. If I let her go, she will decide what she wants. Sounds strangely familiar... Stay strong. Focus on your colleagues, your friends and your craft. Prepare yourself so that the next woman who comes your way will be blown away by your capacity to love (assuming she's in the right place/mindset to receive and respect that). Make yourself productive and relationship worthy. Best of luck, man.
adamt Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 I know how you feel, i thought the world of my ex and always wanted to make her happy. rarely argued. She dumped me not long after her mom died from cancer. She seemed to be on a downer. i thought there would be a chance we would get back together when she got over her mom's death. 7 months on its not happened. all i would say in tough stressful times you would usually lean on those close to you or who you love dearly. It never happened with my ex and sounds the same with you. It is tough times for her but you hve to focus on yourself. She made the decision to leave you. You need to block her on facebook and dont let her tag you in photos. how found it hard cos i wanted to help her through her tough time but she didnt want me to help her. You need to take her off that pedastal. I hd my ex on the pedastal the same, over time i began to "hate" her because of what she is putting me though mentally. She is now cold with me so i have no respect for her. she was hppy to chuck a 3 year relationship away
Template Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 I find it amazing how often people push away the people that most care about them. It's amazing how some people just want to be in misery, for whatever reason. For some people, it even pisses them off when someone tries to help them. Sad but true. It breaks my heart when I read about people like you, who has their heart broken, as it often really affects the person who made the most emotional investment. Here's the good news. You are still very young, and the world is literally your oyster. You still have opportunity to find the love you are truly deserved of. You've handled yourself quite well. Now go and live a good life.
harmfulsweetz Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 I find it amazing how often people push away the people that most care about them. It's amazing how some people just want to be in misery, for whatever reason. For some people, it even pisses them off when someone tries to help them. Sad but true. It breaks my heart when I read about people like you, who has their heart broken, as it often really affects the person who made the most emotional investment. Here's the good news. You are still very young, and the world is literally your oyster. You still have opportunity to find the love you are truly deserved of. You've handled yourself quite well. Now go and live a good life. Sometimes it's hard to let people in when you need them the most, you know? No one wants to be in misery, sometimes, they need to battle through it themselves without the assistance of others. I imagine it's a very trying time for her, and having someone else's emotions to cater for as well can be emotionally draining.I'm not justifying the fact that she broke your heart, but sometimes, we have to go through it, to get to better things. It sounds like she's in a very tough place at the moment, and likely, didn't want to hurt you. It'll take time, but you'll get through it. Stay strong, go NC. Good luck
HLP234 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 But its true what always happens..one person falls for the other, cares so much and the other person either just looses interest, or if they had bad experiences in the past they finally got to them. But you never know with many people.
bananaboat11 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Sounds very familiar... hmmm (see my post that no one's responded to lol) Anyhow.. she does not deserve you if that's the way she's going to be.
HLP234 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 You always figure if the one that loves you and you love them, that in times of stress or hardship they would come to you. But if they don't and it seems like they are trying to do things themselves, it actually means they are trying to get away from you. Its nice that you still support her and are not upset at her for leaving you..but if she hasn't done anything to hurt you then that makes sense. Its always good when the couple at least comes to a conclusion and decides to end the relationship rather than do dumb things that involve games and ambiguity.
Author Lion Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 (edited) Thanks for your valuable responses guys, reasons for breakup I forgot to tell you: I said "maybe we should breakup" in a moment of spite after we argued about her parents I also turned up late to see her on the friday we broke up I actually lied and said "I forgot to come see you" These actions are horrible and all my fault - should I initiate contact and say sorry or wait for her to come back? I must admit I was stressed out that week over her, her parents and working for her dad. BUT I want to be at peace with her on this. Edited January 5, 2010 by Lion
brokenheart1 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 big hugs hope you feel better. my ex broke up with me too. it's a crappy feeling but i'm sure we'll be fine...
adamt Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 You always figure if the one that loves you and you love them, that in times of stress or hardship they would come to you. But if they don't and it seems like they are trying to do things themselves, it actually means they are trying to get away from you. Got to agree with that. my ex was struggling to cope with her moms terminal illness. she wouldnt open up to me and pushed me away. At the time i thought i was to blame but now i realise she didnt want me there to help her
HLP234 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Yeh I figured the same when my ex moved here, that it would be a lot better because we would be able to hang out and just do a lot more together but she never even gave me the chance because she all of a sudden became selfish.
adamt Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Yeh I figured the same when my ex moved here, that it would be a lot better because we would be able to hang out and just do a lot more together but she never even gave me the chance because she all of a sudden became selfish. Yes, once they are emotionally detaching they become selfish and will argue black is white just to create friction. Subconconciously wanting you to finish it or have a good big arguement as a reason to break up. The little niggly things arent really an issue it is finding what is behind it. A couple of months before we split up i had booked a restaurant for valentines days and she didnt seem bothered about going. then on my birthday she wanted to go to a different restaurant than me. I think they were symptoms of someone wanting out of a relationship and tryign to create friction to end it
HLP234 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Yup, as soon as she moved here, we were still dating and hanging out, not even a week passed by and she told me of a connection she has with her best friend but said she would not date him. What do you know, she wanted a break, perhaps because the move also was a emotional change for her, but also to figure out what to do with this other guy. She would bring up little things as to why I don't talk to her when she was the one that wanted the break, and I was just trying to give space..she left without saying anything and what do you know, shes now dating the best friend and seems to be having a great time.
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