eternal.denied84 Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 (edited) Hi Ex, In this new year I want to feel free and leave the baggage I have been carrying for past few months now.I want to grow up in my life and there’s one thing which is constantly pulling me back. I am sick of it and I really need your help to get me out of this. Like you know I have been struggling with trust issues on you, reasons you know already --your past history, your comments about past relationships, my brainwash, the way guys approaches you, your chat when I found you flirting with another guy, and there’s many more small things which has always made me doubt on you. Now all those definitely don’t give me a license to be indifferent/cold /disrespected to you. Like you have clarified many times you brokeup with me because you felt insulted/disrespected with me. I am actually being torn in two different directions. 1 At times I feel you are being true and I should truly respect your feelings ,take it in the way that there is no second chance with you and move on but I get disappointed & hurt when I see how much emotions, effort, energy, love, care and respect I have put into this relation.I get disappointed that I really really loved you but somehow the message which has passed to you is exactly opposite. This thing has been killing me like anything 2.On the other hand at times some cruel thoughts also come to my mind. I feel that there’s something more than how I made you feel. That’s something more can be anything. Maybe you got bored of me. Maybe you only like honeymoon phase in the relationship and you are scared of long term relationships/commitment. Maybe there’s someone else involved. Maybe you are looking for better prospective and you think I am not good enough for you for any damn reason. Somehow I am just not able to accept the fact that its only how I made you feel is the reason for our breakup because I strongly feel that if that was the only reason..you could have definitely forgiven me considering everything else. I know you have given me enough inputs for closure..when you said..you never really loved me.relationships doesn’t matter to you,getting physical involved also don’t bother to you much and blah blah.I don’t know why the hell I am asking for closure one more time. May be because all those time we were in the midst of heated arguments and ppl really do not mean what they say when they are in burst of anger. All I want to know from you is for the sake of love, respect & humanity..please let me know the truth.Please be as honest as you can get in the life and let me know the real truth. Reply to this mail would definitely give me the closure I am expecting.i don’t see any reason for you to be mad on me now..just be honest. I can promise you that my respect for you would still remain the same and I will remember this token from you as a gift for the lifetime. Yours sincerely. ************************************************************************************* I am planning to send above mail to my ex after 45 days of NC.Actually NC was broken after 45 days because she contacted me couple of times earlier to ask me to remove her friends from my fb list which i have done now.when i talked to her after 45 days..again i couldn't control myself and i showed her my weak side. she was still adamant that i made her feel insulted/disrespected and thats the reason she doesnt want even a remote connection to me.reason she asked me to remove her frinds from fb. i also feel that it has been quite many months now(6-7) i have been dragging this relationship. out of which last 2 months were the one when i really implemented NC.I feel that i have to move on now and i feel that a reply for the above mail would give me closure to move on. suggestions/comments/experience on whether i should send this mail? Edited January 3, 2010 by eternal.denied84
Author eternal.denied84 Posted January 3, 2010 Author Posted January 3, 2010 There’s one more very strong reason why I am asking this closure, at times I get filled with so much of hatred, anger, revenge against her that she is just playing with my emotions because any girl in this world can see how much feelings I have for her..she bluntly ignores that and again says the same thing that i made her feel disrespected..which tortures me..it makes me feel as if she is taking undue advantage of my emotions and enjoying this.
samspade Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 DO NOT SEND!!! I hope you deleted it. Closure is overrated. You want closure? Remove her from your life so you can get on with yours. She is only playing with you because you are allowing her to. She dumped you, she doesn't even want her friends to be in touch with you on FB...this is all you need to know. She did you a favor. F her. Move on. Sending this email will creep her out, put you in a terribly pathetic groveling position, and keep you from starting off the New Year the way you deserve to - by hunting fresh female meat. I know you're down, bro, but this will only make it worse. Your ONLY resource is the attention you are giving her - more precisely, the LACK THEREOF. Listen to your words, man. "Baggage is pulling me back." "I'm being torn." Passive voice based on metaphysical causes. You sound like a woman. YOU are in control of your happiness. Not her, and not anything else. She is only blaming you for the breakup because she's a female and won't take ownership - it justifies the decision in her mind. Just let it go. I know it sounds harsh, but you need a kick in the rear. Don't start 2010 this way. - SS
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