PandorasBox Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I say do as he does. Watch you a bunch of porn make sure he knows it, and when he says something about it, tell him to shut his mouth, and keep doing it even if he doesn't want you too, I mean after all thats what he is doing, and if its ok for him, it should be for you right? Better yet. Just move on from the situation altogether. You will continue to be unhappy with what he is doing anyway. BECAUSE there are other issues going on here besides the porn which you clearly stated, that I guess some people here just skip right on over!
jasperlynx Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 do what my wife did. Told me that if I did it again...I could go f*#@! myself and leave. Take it from me from a husband who has a wife that does not take any crap from anybody....tell to stop or he is cut off because it is disrespectful in your eyes. If he gives you crap about it stick by your word and dont talk to him for a week. unless your one of the weak one type of wives. Then your just screwed because you made your own bed. Be tough or get walked on ...thats the game in marriage. There is always the weaker one and it sounds like you.
blair08 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 If you were to throw out a ultimatium such as, "if you do it again you're out" kind of thing, be prepared to back up what you say you're gonna do. Never give someone an ultimatium if you're not going to follow through on what you say, or the other person will just think you're blowing hot air and never take you seriously. Chances are, if he truly has an addiction, he wont stop anyway no mater what your ultimatium might be. The addiction is stronger than him and you. But don't walk around telling yourself he has an addiction for sure, that needs to be diagnosed. Besides an addiction shouldn't be your or his justification, but I'm sure it will be.
Author lovebubble Posted January 8, 2010 Author Posted January 8, 2010 do what my wife did. Told me that if I did it again...I could go f*#@! myself and leave. Take it from me from a husband who has a wife that does not take any crap from anybody....tell to stop or he is cut off because it is disrespectful in your eyes. If he gives you crap about it stick by your word and dont talk to him for a week. unless your one of the weak one type of wives. Then your just screwed because you made your own bed. Be tough or get walked on ...thats the game in marriage. There is always the weaker one and it sounds like you. a week would do nothing to him. i've gone as long as a month without talking to him to get a point across and he continues. he's going to continue reguardless what i do or say.
Author lovebubble Posted January 8, 2010 Author Posted January 8, 2010 As long as it isn't interferring with your intimacy with him I don't see the problem. I doubt he's expecting you to participate in orgys/gang bangs. Let him fulfill his fantasies with porn - as long as it isn'[t obsessive. I do worry that porn can get addictive to some and become an obsession. But I think the normal guy (and sometimes girl) is very normal to watch it once in a while. As a woman I don't get much out of it but in the past have "learned" from it - sort of shows you what men like etc. But honestly, it leaves me completely cold. he carries those fantasies over into bed with us.. and asks me to say things about having sex with other men/his friends, ect.. and like an idiot, i've done it.. to please him.. thinking maybe he'd stay away from porn.. it didn't work.
Jeff1962 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 (edited) I did the porn thing for a very short time when I first got online about 12 years ago. I was curious but I soon realisied that it was not my bag for various reasons. For one, my wife would be hurt if she knew that I was looking at other women and two, it was the same old unrealistic crap over and over. Plus, if I'm going to masturbate, I'm not going to do it to a computer screen, I use my imagination. The one and only strip club that I have been to was a total let down and that was 24 years ago, before I met my wife. I guess porn or strip clubs for me are like, what's the point? You look at other women that you cannot touch, then go home to your wife? Just not for me. I'd rather have it honest. This is just how I am though. I don't know what to say to you that could help. I mean, you say that you have sex 3-5 times per week, give bj's on demand, what else can you do? A lot about sex is in the mind maybe there is an issue with your H. Sit him down in a non confrontational way and explain to him how you feel over this. Remember, porn is not usually realistic, it could just be fantasies that your H. has that he would not ever want to happen in real life. It could be a safety net for him. I wish I could help you. Take care. Edited January 8, 2010 by Jeff1962 Spelling
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