Does it change when women get to their 30's?

January 4, 2010

Would that be before, during, or after being stoned to death?

If tomorrow a genie granted me a wish and that wish was to make all Muslim men come home to an American or British woman, they would all strap rocks to their legs and jump into the tigris.

January 4, 2010

If tomorrow a genie granted me a wish and that wish was to make all Muslim men come home to an American or British woman, they would all strap rocks to their legs and jump into the tigris.

I wish that the genie would grant your wish.....!!!!!

January 4, 2010

Would that be before, during, or after being stoned to death?

I wish that the genie would grant your wish.....!!!!!

Easy there Tami chan, your Asian culture is pretty similar.

Western culture at one point was sane as well. It wasn't until bolshevism, consumerism, and atheism that women were turned into the enemies of men , rather than our compliments and our pride. I think in the end, with all the poo-pooing you girlies learned from your trotskyist professors in clown college, you still want what girls wanted before. Just look at those dumb vampire novels, Twilight girls go crazy for a man who takes control and is dominant over them, yet still treats them lovingly. I am sure men and women are naturally wired to live this way, it's why all organic pre-"enlightenment" societies follow a similar path to gender relations.

If we lived hundreds of years ago, or in Islamic society, the responsibility of society's romantic values would be on the man's shoulders, and I would be criticizing men for their misdeeds if done.

Edited January 4, 2010 by cognac

January 4, 2010

Easy there Tami chan, your Asian culture is pretty similar.

LOL...maybe...but I have the best of both worlds...I am American and I live in the US

January 4, 2010

American women would eat those guys alive

it depends where they are living...in a western nation yes, in an islamic nation no they wouldn't

January 4, 2010

LOL...maybe...but I have the best of both worlds...I am American and I live in the US

And rootless and cosmopolitan.

Do you have a tall, lanky, liberal jewish boyfriend as well

January 4, 2010

And rootless and cosmopolitan.

Do you have a tall, lanky, liberal jewish boyfriend as well

rootless? not sure what you mean...but I can trace my lineage from way, way back...

No, I do not have a 'tall, lanky, liberal Jewish boyfriend"..lol...

you are 0-2...oh, wait, I am cosmopolitan...so you are 1-3...

January 4, 2010

America destroyed my family unity.

January 4, 2010

Imagine a world...of Islamic theocracy. It's easy if you tried. As a white western [former] christian, Islamic law looks really appealing in regards to women

This is exactly why I think Islam is still potent and Christianity is not

I think the Islamic world is much more serious about keeping their women in submission than they are about literally believing in a god

And because change would come at so great a cost they become fanatical

January 4, 2010

I'm liking all these promising posts. I fit that mold - im a working professional, own a home, and I even play music semi-professionally so I have that 'bad-boy' persona that women seem to dig. I don't usually date women in their 20's. I actually prefer and mostly date older women. My last two girlfriends were mid-30's. I just recently went out with a girl who is 26 and she was a total floosie. I'm sticking with mid-30's girls. I think that's the perfect age...for me anyway. They know what they want, know how to be friends and have fun, and are incredible in the sack in my experience. They are harder to find though it seems because alot of em are married off and raising youngin's at that age.

That's cool with me. I'm ready for that at this point in my life. I want a wife and a bunch of kids.

I should think you would do well with the 30+ crowd. I'm 1 month shy of 30 and dating an established attorney. It's VERY attractive to date a man that's established.

January 4, 2010

There are many who maybe spent their 20s picking guys who they hoped would be Mr Right, but they really aren't Mr Right for anyone...now they're in their 30s and want stability over excitement and thus select the guys they rejected in their 20s. They "saw the light" or "came to their senses".

There are others who are still adamant on the idea of that picture-perfect alpha male who can get any girl in the room, but will give them all up for her. These women either are the insecure types who still get payed by bad men for the rest of their lives, or are the ones who put up a big front of strength with the slogan "I'LL NEVER SETTLE" as their mantra.

Some women unfortunately will hit 30 and believe their "sell by date" has passed, so suddenly the long list of qualities will vanish and they will "settle" because they just want to not be the single woman in a realm of married women. Usually their social circles will push this. We'll also see some single moms get into this insecurity...believing that most men will reject them.

do you actually know single women in their 30s? only because you appear to have an awefully negative view of us.

you think we were either dumb in our 20s thus passed the chance to find a good husband by screwing idiots or are way too fussy to 'settle' for anyone or completely neurotic and weak and allow our peers to pressurise us into settling.

also, according to you any of us that display any signs of strength (ie independence, not viewing marriage/kids as the ultimate aim, wanting to have choices in life and taking responsibility for that etc) put up a front and pretend all of this because really we all want a perfect husband.

interesting view in January 2010 - somewhat dated to put it politely

January 4, 2010

I can honestly say that had I met my husband in my twenties, he would have been considered a keeper.

All you bitter boys ascribe behaviours of the lowest common denominator women, to all women. You're going to have to upgrade, if you ever want to have a viable relationship.

January 4, 2010

Yeah really. I've been beaten down, burned, electrocuted, shot at with very high powered air rifles (had to get the BB surgically removed), and did my fair share of dishing it out as well. Sometimes me and my buddies see one of these fake tough guys, walking down the street with their chests out like they're alpha hulk hogan men, with their girlfriends, and start yelling dirty things at their girlfriends, or insult him. What do the bad boys do, they keep on walking . It's not like me and my friends look that dangerous or anything either, it's just to prove a point. (and to have a lot of fun )

Oh wow, you really are a badass, how do you find the courage to insult a woman with only your buddies there to back you up?

January 4, 2010

. Just look at those dumb vampire novels, Twilight girls go crazy for a man who takes control and is dominant over them, yet still treats them lovingly. I am sure men and women are naturally wired to live this way, it's why all organic pre-"enlightenment" societies follow a similar path to gender relations.

I'm sure many women want psycho men with stalker-ish tendencies.

January 4, 2010

Why would you expect her to have sex with you? And why on earth would you even want to have sex with a woman that disgusts you?

If you are looking for a LTR with a woman who doesn't have casual sex, shouldn't you also stay clear of such encounters?

I agree. Being tricked by such a woman is a very unpleasant experience. But there is little you can do. You can only hope that they are honest if you ask about their past.

I, and I believe everybody here, wouldn't want to have anything with this type of woman. Although this type of woman clearly represents just a fraction (albeit a solid one) of the female population, it is just insulting in principle to be a decent guy and passed over for somebody inferior but perhaps putting up a good show or something. Your pride will naturally trigger a negative reaction even if you don't actually want to do anything to do with the woman in question.

Most sane men like to live by some semblance of respect and honor and when respect that is due is not given and honor is absent, that triggers strong negative emotions, even if you are not directly involved in the situation. After all, what good are honor and respect if you only apply them to your individual circumstances?

Why fight wars that cannot possibly affect our actual safety?

January 4, 2010

Does anyone else find it entertaining when self proclaimed "nice guys" say how wonderful they are and then go on to bash the entire female gender calling them four letter words, gold-diggers or other such ridiculous nonsense because of their own personal dating failures?

I want every man to list to this very carefully: Women are not responsible for your personal feelings of insecurity and inadequacy when you strike out in dating. It is not our fault. It does not mean we are horrible. It does not mean we want men that treat us like crap. Just because it makes you feel better to think that's the case, doesn't make it true.

We also do not choose men on the one fact that they consider themselves to be "nice". What man here picks a woman based strictly on her "niceness"? I doubt anyone of you do. If you are honest with yourself you can admit to yourself that it takes more then just being nice and being good on paper to have a relationship progress. I am sure that at one time or another, you guys rejected a "nice girl'. Maybe she didn't meet your look standards or other standards YOU know you have for women that you feel are up to your level.

Infact, I will venture that the bitterness in these threads are due to "nice men" looking to the very hot popular type girls and being bitter that these hot girls that don't want them are so shallow and don't see what a wonderful person he is. Meanwhile, Sally May is in the local librarian and would think he is wonderful but she doesn't have huge knockers and whitened teeth. So "nice guy" bemoans the atrocoties and shallowness of "hot women" not wanting him. Awww, the irony.

The reason I ask is because I am recently back in the dating scene after about an 8 month break (got over my ex without a rebound )...and I notice that a lot of girls in their 20's date jerks with no jobs and no ambitions in life. My very good lady friend who is a 29 year old lawyer admits that she goes for losers with no job. I am 31, fun, witty, have a great job, attractive, and a southern gentleman. Yet, I still get the blow off by girls who would rather date losers.

I've heard that your 20's is for making all the wrong decisions and you start to get it right in your 30's. I hope women by then start to appreciate a good guy.

Women already do appreciate a good guy. But I am sorry. Being "nice", being good on paper, is not good enough. And if you are honest, that isn't enough for you either when picking a woman you like. We don't want "bad boys" or "nice guys". We want good men. I am sure you blew off women with great "on paper " qualities yourself. Or am I wrong? Please stop being bitter to women for your dating failures. How do you know it's not something else you are doing that is turning these women off? Why are you so quick to blame the woman instead of looking inward to yourself?

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Personally OP, even if women in their 30's do change their minds (they probably do), do you really want the leavings and sloppy seconds of dozens of pot smoking, room temperature IQ man-babies that women go for?

Yeah, why would she go for thsoe guys when she can have a jewel like you that refers to women as "sloppy seconds".

A female once explained to me that yes, women do want the "bad boys" who are liek rellly hot when they're younger (under 30), but when they get older and want to settle down they go for the normal guys. But why should I want THEM at that point?

Men do the same thing. Men want the super hot girl. But then become bitter and angry when she doesn't want him and then he blames all women kind for his poor choices and inability to be unshallow when he expects her to be.

See, this is why women do this. If we men all got together and said we deserved better, and made these women pariahs when they got older like it used to be, this problem wouldn't exist in the first place.

Yeah, that's right! Let's beat those women down and show them were they really belong! Below "me" the man. ...or something to that affect.

I have too much dignity to be seen in the street taking a woman out on a date, as the scumbags watch from a distance cracking jokes about the nasty things they did to her at a house party 5 years ago.

You are more worried about what other men think then you are about yourself. you are also clearly interested in a certain type of woman that might be very attractive. why not branch out to "nice girls". Or do you not like "nice girls". Sure, they might not be as hot, but at least their nice right?

I know decent guys with girlfriends but their girlfriends are all extremely underneath them in appearance, personality and intelligence.

All those poor decent guys with all those worthless women. Those decent guys deserve super models. </SPAN>

January 4, 2010

Personally I hope to god women who today date all kinds of trash don't change, because I don't want to ever date them. If I found out that a woman dated a guy I find really repulsive and she liked me, I would immediatly dislike her.

First off, bear in mind that practically every woman on the planet has dated a playa, jerk, a**hole, bad boy, etc...at one point of her life. Most women who dated the "bad men" didn't even know it. They were charmed by what seemed to be a confident level-headed male, and one day this guy turned into the jerk she hated. She didn't know the guy was a jerk to begin with because he had a good act to trick women.

This is the case with most women. While there are guys out there who can be arrogant and totally honest...claiming how they'll never marry or even commit (yet the women chase them like crazy), most of the guys who score a lot with women are the guys who lie to them and trick them in some way. They might "withhold the truth" by dating and sleeping with her, knowing she wants a RL (but he doesn't and yet he'll keep quiet about that until it's forced out of him).

Some guys tell the half-truth. They'll tell the woman who wants marriage that he wants marriage and family as well, but neglects to mention that he doesn't want it with her. The woman then believes he's talking about her and thus ends up duped.

Some just plain out lie period. They'll say they love the woman and tell her anything she wants to hear to get into her pants, then show no remorse when they're busted.

Cognac, trying to find an attractive woman who is single and yet has never dated a "bad man" in her life is like trying to find a rose growing in a pile of manure. The thing you need to do is to more or less see how the woman has carried herself. If she's the type who will dump a guy instantly when she finds she's been lied to and has the backbone to be single and alone rather than stay in a bad RL, then get with her. If she's the type who is insecure and has low self-esteem and thus gives 1000 chances to bad men to "do better", then steer clear.

Those women are easy to spot. They may be physically attractive (because many of them think they're worthless if they're not "hot"), but they also show they're desperate to be loved and not be single. When they decide to "settle" on a "nice guy", it shows because she'll be in a big hurry to commit and even marry and have kids. I'd see some of these want to meet a guy and get engaged to him after 6-12 months of dating then start having kids right after the marriage a year later.

DO NOT judge all single moms as these women. Not every woman who has a kid is instantly a "cum dumpster". Many of these women did the think they were raised to believe as "correct". They fell in love, married, etc...but things didn't work out, and you can't take children to a "return/refund" table. Too many guys make the mistake of instantly believing that every woman who has a kid (even if she's never been married) is a former bad boy chaser who's looking for any guy to be an instant husband and daddy.

Don't hold so much hatred. Yes there are bad men and women out there, but to remain cynical like you come off will only hinder the search for love. You should be looking for the person who is great to you NOW and will be great to you for life...regardless of any past "mistakes". You can't expect a woman to be attractive AND have their life together AND a flawless past AND be single.

Usually those women marry off in their early 20s and never end up single.

Edited January 5, 2010 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

January 4, 2010

The quality women will always be drawn to the quality men, regardless of age. The problem is that these women are commonly snatched up quickly, so the volume of these single women go down as the age goes up.

This is a good point also, the worst candidates spend the most time recycling quickly through the dating pool. The best spend the least time. It is a good reason for not dating people who are immediately out of a relationship. The worst apples cycle through relationships very quickly and go instantly from one to the next. Better to go with prospects who spend significant time alone between relationships.

January 4, 2010

Of course, as it should. It is called maturity. It should change for men, too. The problem is, many men in their 30's and even way older than that still want women in their 20's and then complain why these women still want "bad boys".....

It -should- change, but so often sadly does not. After people suffer the consequences of their choices, they act changed for a bit, but revert to form eventually. Explains why so many alcoholics and ex-smokers relapse into those habits. Bad relationship habits are at least as addictive as any drug. Not saying that people shouldn't be given the benefit of the doubt, just that it is very hard to change.

Disagree that it has anything to do with age of partner sought. Have found very little correlation between mere age and maturity level in people. Some people mature in a natural, healthy progression as they experience life, most do not, and "baggage" does not equal "maturity." Back in the day, had several women who would run to me after making poor relationship choices. As soon as those women had "healed up" and recovered from the consequences (emotional, physical, financial) of bad choices, they all went straight back to business as usual in conducting their lives. Fun for awhile, but nature is nature. What's the old cliche' about the frog and the scorpion? I find it true in my experience.

January 4, 2010

Ok, but I still think your hate and anger are very abnormal. If some chick wants a guy to ejaculate on her face why does that enrage YOU? She isn't your gf/lover/wife so why do her decisions matter to you?

The same woman who engages in the behavior on Saturday night, is likely to be crusading on Sunday morning against legalizing porn and prostitution because they "degrade women," is likely to be gullible enough to believe that "internet perverts" are a threat to her children. In short, the attitude that many women have is completely duplicitous on social sexual issues that affect men and our desires while expecting to be completely sexually free with no accountability for their actions where -their- desires are concerned. "I wanted to be gang-banged lots last year, but now I want a family, so you have no right to judge me... and btw, all gang-banging is likely rape." See the issue here?

Interesting how the social institutions that allow men sexual outlets (prostitution, internet porn) are targetted as "vice" that degrades women, yet women expect to be completely sexually free and inconsistent in their behavior from one moment to the next with no accountability whatsoever. Sexual expression is ok in our culture currently, but only on women's terms.

January 4, 2010

I especially see it in their eyes. Dead eyes. Like the life has been sucked out of their soul. Oh, well, we all make choices. Mine haven't been the best either. Live and learn.

It's interesting you mention this, because "dead eyes" happens to be one outward, non-symptomatic indicator of personality disorders (both in men and women). With PDs though, the eyes have always had that flat, lifeless quality since childhood.

January 4, 2010

Ask any of these bad boys to live the life I was living in 99 and they would not survive a month. They would tremble in fear if ever confronted by real thugs.

So true. IMO, the descriptor "bad boy" should be replaced by "guy with little substance who has nothing going on in life other than a hyper-emotional involvement in his relationships that feeds drama and attention addictions in certain women." But that would be a bit long to type out over and over.

January 4, 2010

It's interesting you mention this, because "dead eyes" happens to be one outward, non-symptomatic indicator of personality disorders (both in men and women). With PDs though, the eyes have always had that flat, lifeless quality since childhood.

Interesting you should mention that. I never quantified it prior, but noted, as psychosis increased in my mother, her eyes took on this almost lifeless cast, especially in the midst of an episode. Chilling. It was after that when I really started to match up what I was seeing with certain women with what I was feeling instinctively.

It makes sense that PD's would have more difficulty with healthy relationships and I've seen examples of this throughout life. When young, people can 'get by' on other, more superficial aspects, but, as the 30's and beyond loom, the totality of the person becomes a necessity in any compatible and healthy relationship and this is where PD's and others who have not developed that totality to health begin to fall down. It gets really obvious by my age, especially the substance abusers/addictive personality types. They just stand out and not in a pleasant way.

January 4, 2010

Interesting you should mention that. I never quantified it prior, but noted, as psychosis increased in my mother, her eyes took on this almost lifeless cast, especially in the midst of an episode. Chilling. It was after that when I really started to match up what I was seeing with certain women with what I was feeling instinctively.

It makes sense that PD's would have more difficulty with healthy relationships and I've seen examples of this throughout life. When young, people can 'get by' on other, more superficial aspects, but, as the 30's and beyond loom, the totality of the person becomes a necessity in any compatible and healthy relationship and this is where PD's and others who have not developed that totality to health begin to fall down. It gets really obvious by my age, especially the substance abusers/addictive personality types. They just stand out and not in a pleasant way.

Scary stuff. My ex has these lifeless eyes in many of our/her pictures. Needless to say, she's quit screwed up emotionally. The reason this is scary is that you can't help a person, yet it becomes increasingly less likely that they will be able to help themselves. It is simply not easy to break out of the rut of a lifetime of pathological coping mechanisms, just as hard as accepting responsibility and seeing through one's bad choices to begin with.

January 4, 2010

It -should- change, but so often sadly does not. After people suffer the consequences of their choices, they act changed for a bit, but revert to form eventually. Explains why so many alcoholics and ex-smokers relapse into those habits. Bad relationship habits are at least as addictive as any drug. Not saying that people shouldn't be given the benefit of the doubt, just that it is very hard to change.

Disagree that it has anything to do with age of partner sought. Have found very little correlation between mere age and maturity level in people. Some people mature in a natural, healthy progression as they experience life, most do not, and "baggage" does not equal "maturity." Back in the day, had several women who would run to me after making poor relationship choices. As soon as those women had "healed up" and recovered from the consequences (emotional, physical, financial) of bad choices, they all went straight back to business as usual in conducting their lives. Fun for awhile, but nature is nature. What's the old cliche' about the frog and the scorpion? I find it true in my experience.

Society expected people in their 30s and on to be "more settled"-done with college, supporting themselves, etc.etc...that was the "natural progression"- as what society had conditioned us. However, change is inherent in this life...now it is okay for women to have babies in their late 30's and they do not even have to get married or they do not even have to have kids!...same is true with men. Age should come with emotional maturity...and sometimes it does, sometimes it does not because societal expectations/attitudes have changed or are changing..In the olden days women and men get married in their very early teens-13, even 12 and stayed married forever...How did those kids know true, everlasting love? Maybe they didn't....I don't know...

Now, we have a lot of options...to stay single with kids, or single without kids, to get married and have kids or not...etc.etc....

This maturity/immaturity thing is not exclusive to women... STILL (despite the changing expectations) I expect men(and women) in their 30s to be made men( women)..financially stable, know what they want in life, own their own homes, etc.etc..

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