DenverBachelor Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 In order to better help those who need guidance during such a difficult time, I'd like to list the 27 stages of breaking up so that you understand that this is a natural process that you will recover from. Stages: 1. Denial 2. Failed Reconciliation Attempt #1 3. Anger 4. Depression 5. More Anger 6. More Depression 7. Check Facebook 8. Deactivate your profile 9 . Reactivate your profile 10. Remove them from your Friends List 11. Failed Reconciliation Attempt #2 12. Go NC 13. Break NC 14. Go NC again 15. Break NC again 16. Failed Reconciliation Attempt #3 17. Spend 5 days interpreting their 3 sentence e-mail 18. Spend 10 days discussing the e-mail on LS 19. Go NC for good. 20. Post on LS if you should break NC 21. Post on LS how much life sucks now that they're gone 22. Post on LS how much you never needed them 23. Receive a text from them and discuss on LS what it means 24. Break NC again. 25. Failed Reconciliation Attempt #4 26. Post on LS how happy you are without them, yet spend the next 5+ paragraphs discussing how it should have turned out differently. 27. Acceptance 1
jms76 Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Too bad we can't just skip steps 1-26. If we could, we would not be human:cool:
curiousnycgirl Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 I seem to have jumbled these steps completely. I went straight to #19 and so far I'm stuck on a whole lot of #4 (although not the staying in bed all day can't function kid of depression). Wonder when I can look forward to good old #27 - somehow I think I have a long way to go.
ladymistique Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Thankfully, I haven't attempted any reconciliations (my ego will not be permit me to open myself to more rejection) but otherwise 100% true in my case. Especially those pesky moments in which I broke NC . Rock on DenverBachelor!
sedgwick Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 HA!!!! Seriously, though, I am so glad I went NC and deleted him from EVERYTHING the day he left. Also that day I threw away everything he'd left here and took his clothes to the thrift store. I was smart enough this time to know what was good for me!
McGrupp Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 i think i just did 23 -26 in the last hour. good stuff
LovelyDaze Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Again,DB...you speak words of wisdom! We all go through that horrible ebb & flow of getting to #27. I love how these steps are not in a strict tandem...just absolutely random! Before we get over our exes, our emotions fluctuate, come back again and scramble like eggs until we put a nail in the coffin of it for good. My ex is definitely on my emotional life support and I will get where I can pull the plug.(Wow, that was morbid, but fitting.)
partchimpy Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 or these can all be bypassed by this simple one: 1. Find someone else. too bad it's not that easy though...
LovelyDaze Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 or these can all be bypassed by this simple one: 1. Find someone else. too bad it's not that easy though... No, finding someone else is definitely not the cure. When you have a breakup it is best to find YOURSELF first. Learn what it is like to be without that ex and enjoy being you. How can you love someone if you don't love yourself first? That's why relationships constantly fail. Either someone gets bored and wants that shiny new-ness of a new person, they cling and smother the one they are with because they have no self-respect or they just feel like "single" is some kind of bad word. I am going to do the dirty work and get my hands in the soil. I will take some time out to discovering who I am and what kind of life I really want. No one person should be the epitome of happiness...you are.
partchimpy Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 No, finding someone else is definitely not the cure. When you have a breakup it is best to find YOURSELF first. Learn what it is like to be without that ex and enjoy being you. How can you love someone if you don't love yourself first? That's why relationships constantly fail. Either someone gets bored and wants that shiny new-ness of a new person, they cling and smother the one they are with because they have no self-respect or they just feel like "single" is some kind of bad word. I am going to do the dirty work and get my hands in the soil. I will take some time out to discovering who I am and what kind of life I really want. No one person should be the epitome of happiness...you are. good point. rebounds are not the best for both parties. it is best to find yourself. the thing i've been focusing on is the thought that I was happy all these years and doing great before I met her months ago and I can go back to that person I used to be.
Fitness Dude Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Yep, those steps are all the steps I've been going through for sure. It's so depressing being on here sometimes, but I don't know if that's all that bad to be honest. But that list is SOOOOO true.
scottishlassy Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I am going through a bunch of those steps for the last three days! The problem is, he keeps stringing me along. Divorce, seperation to try and work it out, divorce, seperation and get some help, divorce, we will see. I am being bounced back and forth like a tennis ball. I absolutely refuse to file for divorce though, this was his idea so he is going to have to do the work on this one himself if he wants it.
kimmi Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 This is really funny, Had a good laugh mainly because I see myself doing these exact things, the facebook was the best one
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