Lucky555 Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 I had an amazing time with a guy who: has a great career good looking in my eyes we get along great. He pays for me and I pay for him=equal (sooo nice!) However...I was at his place and this is the first time we had seen each other in a couple of years. We talk every week though via the internet. i have known him for three years. And i have met him before the internet talk..because we were coworkers at one point in my life. So its like we are really comfortable around each other now. He offered to let me stay at his place after an event and i said yes. I figured this will give us time to spend with each other. Well he wanted to sleep with me. I told him it was too soon. He took it well and continued to cuddle with me ect. However, when it became late in the afternoon and I asked him if I should go since he had to leave for a work thing for about an hour. He told me to do as i wanted to. For some reason i felt like that was a cue to leave..because he didn't exactly say..please stay or anything like that. I was kind of hoping he would say stay..but he was tired from the week. I felt as though its been a couple of years and i thought it would mean more if he had asked me to stay. As i left i said i had a great time and when he and i are not busy to contact me. Its been two days with no contact from him. I also know i need to have a talk if we are going to be sleeping with each other. I want a relationship and if it is not something he wants then i think i need to end what is going on soon even though im attracted to him. So what do i do? Wait for him to contact me and invite me out? I was the one who suggested we go out last time. I feel as though its his turn to say lets to something because i want equal effort. I also want to let him know what i want but i dont know when to say it. I had no idea how this previous evening would go and it went so well and now i am perplexed because i didnt think it would go the way it did. I thought it was just a friendly get together and our feelings evidently were stronger than i thought. i am relaxed about this to some degree. But i certainly dont want to waste my time either with someone who doesnt want the sames things.
Yukikazi Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Wait for him to contact you.. may take a week or so but its his turn now
Author Lucky555 Posted January 3, 2010 Author Posted January 3, 2010 ok I will wait till he asks me. I will keep in contact with him but leave my options open. I was very unprepared of how the other night went because i did not expect for him to be "that into me". I was expecting a casual thing because we had not seen each other for a long time. if he doesn't say anything within a week i am concluding that it was just a good night and that was it.
paddington bear Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Your agreement to go home to stay at his, was, in his eyes an unspoken 'yes we will have sex tonight'. When you didn't have sex it felt like a rejection to him, despite him saying he was ok with it, but obviously his ego is bruised or he had other expectations from you and they are not being fulfilled and hence he's not contacting you. It could also be that maybe he is not looking for some kind of LTR right now, and doesn't want to go along with waiting for who knows how long to actually have sex and is pulling back because of that. I agree, wait for him to make the next move.
DustySaltus Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 He's not going to contact you, here's why: You've known him for a long time. You speak to him all the time. You stay over his house (which is when you should've had the talk). The next morning you leave. NOW, you want to have the talk. He's thinking to himself that if he didn't sleep with you last night, it's probably never going to happen. What would make him think differently? You need to take the next step here and tell him what you want. The ball is in your court.
Author Lucky555 Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 So the ball is in my court? even though i suggested we go out. I told him i would sleep with him eventually but not now since its still early..I have not seen him for awhile. He said he understood i was not ready yet and continued to cuddle with me for hours. We had discussed my sleeping over prior to me staying over. It was not in terms of sex. It was because we were getting back really late and we are comfortable around each other for the most part. When i left we kissed goodbye. So is the ball still in my court?
Goodin Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 So the ball is in my court? even though i suggested we go out. I told him i would sleep with him eventually but not now since its still early..I have not seen him for awhile. He said he understood i was not ready yet and continued to cuddle with me for hours. We had discussed my sleeping over prior to me staying over. It was not in terms of sex. It was because we were getting back really late and we are comfortable around each other for the most part. When i left we kissed goodbye. So is the ball still in my court? It is too early to worry about it. Only 2 days. Give it a few more days and see if he calls. He is probably just playing it cool to get you all worked up like this so you want him more. It's working right? You spent an intimate night with him so in my opinion you are intitled to give him a ring if he doesn;t call back. Also keep in mind...you gave him a serious case of the blue balls so he is probably somewhat frustrated but if he is a good guy and respects your honor this shouldn't be a problem. If he doesn't then you don't need him anyway.
Author Lucky555 Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 It is too early to worry about it. Only 2 days. Give it a few more days and see if he calls. He is probably just playing it cool to get you all worked up like this so you want him more. It's working right? You spent an intimate night with him so in my opinion you are intitled to give him a ring if he doesn;t call back. Also keep in mind...you gave him a serious case of the blue balls so he is probably somewhat frustrated but if he is a good guy and respects your honor this shouldn't be a problem. If he doesn't then you don't need him anyway. Do u think a week is good enough? I personally feel like that should give him enough time. After this I am ready to walk away completely or begin something nice. I didn't actually think he would agree to our get together and I didn't think it would have gone the way it did. I was oblivious. Otherwise we went out due to me suggesting it. I asked to take him to dinner. I think its his turn. Not knowing is making me wonder more so than want him. I rather know than not know. Or he can be a coward in the end and not tell me. I guess time will tell. Thanks for your post
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