singlegirl Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 (edited) Dear Person that I hurt, I wanted to apologize for hurting myself, Deep down inside, I know that you were to good for me and because of that I hurt you, because of that, I am alone and I feel sorry for myself. I have yet again, failed at an attempt to rule someone else, they saw me for who I am. I feel compelled to write you a letter of apology so I can make myself feel better and deal with the way I know I treat people and as long as you can forgive me I can go on existing. Please let me exist to you? You hold a power over me like I once believed I held over you, simply by not letting me in. Simply by not letting me get to you, hurt you, see you, talk to you, and take take take! The love you gave me. I made you feel special, like you were the one who was going to change my heart and yet, you didn't fall for it. You see me for who I am... This I simply cannot deal with. I hate myself, a lot... My existence is through you and others who acknowledge I exist... Can I PLEASE exist to you? I know you wish this letter was written because I feel sorry that I hurt you, its not.. I am writing it because I hurt MYSELF, I feel bad for myself... I could care less what your up to, as long as you feed me something once in a while... You're one smart cookie! Ignoring me, who do you think you are? I AM GOD, never forget that.... I control you, I control your thoughts, your dreams, you past, present and your future... only because you let me though, and how dare you try to rule your own life? Just who the F^%$%# do you think you are? This is MY world, you exist to please me, got it? If you disobey what I WANT, I WILL make sure you pay for this… I’ll do little things that piss you off, or make you wonder if its me behind it… I’ll play internet games, call your friends and pretend to be that good guy you met, you know? The one I pretended to be to “lure” you in to world…. The one no one believes went away except for you…the one none of your friends or family saw, Im a good actor huh? I should get an award… I rock! We can pretend though that you don’t think of me… I know you do.. Right???? RIGHT!? Do I exist to you afterall????? In confused…. How could I once use you like a puppet and now you leave me hanging like this… I WANT THAT CONTROL BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT IT BACK! GIVE IT TO ME!... Please? I miss you… Not really but I know this will lure you back in… God I’m so smart. . .I should write a book on how to mess with peoples heads like I can mess with yours. . . Your dumb! Not really, I AM DUMB, I like to project my problems on to you, because you will always be stronger then me. I wish I were you, I really wish I were you…. Can I be you? I tried to take you away, for myself! Why didn’t you let me have it? You think your slick huh? You cant fool me, I believe I am superior to you…. But, only because you let me believe this every time you even TALK, THINK, DREAM about me… I bet you wish you could get me out of your head like I can get you out of mine huh? I threw you away like a piece of trash because, you are nothing more to me but an object. A toy, you know… that kids play with? But as long as you let me play with you, I can survive, I can know I exist, I can know I am worth something to someone….. Please? P.S. I just want you to know that, there is someone better out there for you, hes waiting to meet you and I’ll be damned if I won’t try my hardest to make sure you never meet him. If you do, I’ll make sure I am always on your mind so you never forget and I can once again, trick you. Edited January 3, 2010 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
GraySkies Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Wow.....My ex could have written this one! Thank you for sharing this as I actually laughed for the first time in a couple of days. I could just see him saying all of this as I know this is how he feels about me. Thank you again!
Artist Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Wow. This is really awsome. While of course it is not a perfect fit for everyone you have really hit on the pathology of a lot of the people we deal with. Awsome!
JaneDoe35 Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Sadly - that is my husband........I seriously need to let go so he has no choice but to let me go too.
LovelyDaze Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 ACK!!!! My ex could have wrote this ENTIRE letter too! My ex has asked me to wait for him to get back from Afghanistan "when" he dumps his fiance'! What a pompous jerk! He really believes I will sit by the window a WHOLE YEAR to accept his sorry self back? Get the f*** out of here! I re-read this twice and it hit me just as hard the second time. This was an extra boost to my already growing courage to stay 10 million miles away from my ex for good! Thanks so much for this post, you never know the power of wisdom. And our wisdom is to truly know that many of our exes thinks in that manner. They play us for fools and our so pitifully bored with their sad sack lives, they have to on purpose hurt another soul for their ego. That's it. These people don't know how to really love. We are lucky to be away from such garbage!
Author singlegirl Posted January 3, 2010 Author Posted January 3, 2010 I find it amazing, sooo true, will definately help me to move on
phoenix1 Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Oh thank you. My fantasy of breaking NC to let my ex help me out without something just, poof! vanished. Because I realized he's not trying to help me out for me, but because he feels guilty and bad about how he has treated me. And now he wants that yucky feeling to go away, so he turns to me, to make himself feel better. Forget it! He can sit in his ****, and feel miserable, he deserves those consequences.
DenverBachelor Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Dear Person that I hurt, I wanted to apologize for hurting myself, Deep down inside, I know that you were to good for me and because of that I hurt you, because of that, I am alone and I feel sorry for myself. singlegirl, Don't write him back. This e-mail that he sent is obviously highly manipulative. You can do much better than him. Good luck!
blackbear_703 Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 I had to read that letter twice and just might read it again sometime soon! I think quite a few of us can identify with that letter...myself included! That reminds me a little too much of my ex and reminds me of why I need to maintain NC w/ her. Thanks for sharing that singlegirl!
Wicker_Parked Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 that is the most retarded thing i have read on this forum so far, i like how he mentioned you as a toy, like the thing kids play with. Is he suggesting that he is infact a kid? That narcissistic email only serves as evidence
Author singlegirl Posted January 3, 2010 Author Posted January 3, 2010 Sorry guys, some of you didn't get it...it's not from my ex, it's an open letter.....it's from a dumpers perspective when they keep initiating contact hope it helps
Vampire Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 singlegirl, Don't write him back. This e-mail that he sent is obviously highly manipulative. You can do much better than him. Good luck! I'm guessing it wasn't meant to be taken as a literal email, but as a generic controlling train of thought.
ladymistique Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Amazing! Both comedic and scarily accurate for many of us.
LovelyDaze Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Sorry guys, some of you didn't get it...it's not from my ex, it's an open letter.....it's from a dumpers perspective when they keep initiating contact hope it helps I like some of our fellow LS members DID think your ex wrote that. Their perspective on it being absurd seems to be the point you are trying to make. Our exes are so self-serving and feel we need to tag along like a broken lost puppy. They tell us to "GO AWAY, YOU MUTT!!!!" We whimper and scurry off to the side. BUT then we still keep following them from a minimal distance and they kind of like it because they feel wanted. My ex will be in Afghanistan by the end of the week! Although I hope he returns safely in 2011, I wish for us to never ever be a "we" again. He hurt me beyond hurt can get and I don't need that kind of garbage in my life ever again! BTW: Re-read the post for the THIRD time. Simply brilliant.
Heartford Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Thank you for posting this. It really hits home. Sad, but true. I have so much empathy for others, I really feel their pain, which I think, not taken to an extreme, makes me a good person. Also has apparently made me a sucker for a bad person. Yes, he was bad to me. Bad for me. Caused me to question much about myself. This letter you posted really made me realize how focused I was, and of course he was, on just HIM. HIM HIM HIM. It's all about him. And everything in that letter rings true, how sad. How very sad.
BreakingUpIsCrap Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 This is hilarious and very true, like I said in a post yesterday, my dumper sent me a text very early on Monday morning... it went like this "Whatever the reasons for parting, what I said of you was untrue. Having said that,I can now put my requests to God,knowing I'm at peace. May you have a fulfilling life". Reading the above post puts this selfish text into perspective. She recognises the hurt she caused by lying about me, but disregards the reasons for parting which were her wandering ways. Where she could've just said sorry, she went on to display that this whole thing is to make herself feel better... :D:D:D:D She's a very staunch Christian and her lying has left me wondering about the depth of her faith. But that's not my problem anymore, and I know that I never ever want to see her, speak with her, smell her hair, nor even see her shadow . I do not intend to respond to the text. NC day 10 today.
Silver_star Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I think its a great example of how the "dumper" thinks alot of the time. Alot of us can relate to this, I know I can. It reminds you to be strong and not go back because you know they are only thinking of themselves. Self-serving jerks!
twinklecat Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Just woah, totally sounds as if it's written by my ex! Thanks for posting, good to read whenever I have certain thoughts, gives me a good jolt back to reality! x
J_89 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Wow! This email speaks a lot of truth. I let a guy dangle me like a puppet for 2 years. And now he is behaving 100% like this. Since our breakup (him dumping me to see other people, but telling me he still had feelings.. and me confirming: no, it's over) he contacts me 3 x a week, done everything he can to get me to add him on Facebook etc. He has tried ever increasing methods to get my attention and find out what I am doing.. including, telling me he is dating! Like he wants a response. When he mentioned the other women, I ignored him, but I am worried that that gave him a response. In the past, when he upset me, I ignored him and he said he observed that I always ignored him when pissed off. I hope that not responding didn't give him satisfaction. Since that point, he has not contacted me again and I once again feel emotionally robbed. I hope I didn't give him that satisfaction he desired. This guy is damaged beyond repair, despite being a macho and very attractive guy of 6'2, he cries himself to sleep at nights. Pre-knowing him I had really high self esteem and could get any guy - I believed I could help him and change him, but he is beyond help.
CaliGuy Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Dear OP: Are you sure you're not my ex? Signed: Me.
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