minutebyminute Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 I did it this time. I was doing so well. I snooped, yes I cut into his privacy. It's been 7 months and I thought I would look him up on facebook, only after that and a bottle of wine and a half, I read his emails, his myspace -hers -you name it. I suck, okay that part is over. I really don't feel much remorse, only the pain it caused me by digging, didn't want to see what I found. The usual, other women, dates that over lapped the new loves pictures, their time now, blah, blah, & ****ing BLAH!!! However, it took me so far back to a place that was worst than the day it happened. I seriously want to die right now. I have/had so many options in my life & I just LET THEM GO. . . I feel nothing right now ,but numbness. I want to let go but I CAN'T WHY!!!!!! Seriously folks, if I don't wake up in the morning thinking about him, I pat myself on the back and then proceed with the thoughts. It's crazy, it's so over, I just keep hanging on. One other thing, my friends, one of his emails was from an (old) girlfriend, just before me, she was obviously hurting, it had been over a year seeking answers. I really want to call this lady and tune her in, tell her what went on so she can have peace of mind. I would be so grateful, but I won't, too complicated. This new woman is nice, I can tell. She doesn't know anything and looks in love. It makes me sick, but they are both single or at least she was. I shouldn't have looked, but he is/was such a HUGE part of my short life on this earth. Just venting...MBM Link to post Share on other sites
temple Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 I'm sorry you're hurting - but just close that computer and get out of your apartment! The sooner you start moving on with your own life and not obsessing over his, the sooner you will be happy. It will be a long road but it's a road absolutely worth taking. Link to post Share on other sites
Susie1 Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 Argh, I did a similar thing too! I know it feels absolutely dreadful. But what to do. Is to get rid of anyway of him contacting you or you contacting him. Even though its very hard, start by one thing at a time, like block him so he can't search for you or anything, and slowly just edge him out. DON'T do what I did and block him on my contact list, then unblock him the second he comes online. That will never work. (obviously XD) as well as doing all of that. Try new things, bring out old hobbies, meet new people, have fun nights with you're closest pals. Slowly, though you may never forget him, it would be so much easier to move on. In my opinion this is where I messed up. I'm in limbo with my guy now, when the right thing to do was just that. I have managed to do this before, even though it's hard, time is the key. But waiting sucks, so let's fill our time with fun Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 Sorry you are hurting. YOu have learned the lesson dont look again. Its masochistic. And dont contact the other women. You hurt just from looking imagine how freaked out you would be if another woman called you and said hes not worth it he said the same things to me (it would make you feel even worse). Time heals if you help it along by not feeding the addiction. Link to post Share on other sites
Heather1 Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 I looked on FB for my OM one time & was sickened too. It was a bunch of MW totally hitting on him. It was during a NC time, and was trying to see what he was up to. Sure enough, a few days after a pretty steamy thread between 3 MW & him, his wife chimed in shocked. She made him shut down his FB account, and I have to say I was relieved. I don't know what to think of FB, it's certainly an eye opener..... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts