Nikki Sahagin Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Long story short, me and my ex split seven/eight months ago and recently began texting, meeting up and sleeping together again. I was meant to see him yesterday night but I put my foot down and said its either friendship or a relationship, not this in between limbo of holding hands and kissing and sex and sharing a bed with no title. Despite this though, I feel I did the WRONG thing because he has admitted to being conflicted about what he wants, as am I, and I can't help but think had I let things plod along, he would have made up his mind in his own time. Now by giving him an ultimatum, I feel I may have pushed things away rather than let things go by coolly and naturally. I know I probably did the right thing, so why does it FEEL wrong? Is it only because i'm upset that i'm missing out on a night/nights of holding him?
TaraMaiden Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Yes. Oh Nikki.... are you still here....? of all the people, in all the threads, I can't think of anyone who'd benefit more from the No Contact premise......
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted January 2, 2010 Author Posted January 2, 2010 Yes I know. Thats why I put my foot down. But I don't feel comfortable having done it at all. I have left him some time to 'decide' and then from there i'll have to decide whether just friends or a relationship is suitable for me, its the limbo of being between both that is hurting so much. Still I know I am going to struggle with NC if it comes to it. Something about it feels so uncomfortable to me, so may be turning to you guys!
sally4sara Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 I know I probably did the right thing, so why does it FEEL wrong? Is it only because i'm upset that i'm missing out on a night/nights of holding him? Because he didn't decide to take the relationship option. So you're letting yourself get wrapped up in feeling rejected even if you know it is for the best. You let it be HIS decision instead of making it your decision. You're left with the helpless feeling that letting someone else make you're decisions for you causes. You basically set yourself up to get dumped again by someone you already finished with.
kimmi Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 wow sally4sara... Words are so true I have and am doing the exact same thing ... I feel like there are breadcrumbs being left behind and he will never admit the truth as long as he has control ... I want to be so done but I am scared to let go of the maybe's and what if's. I HATE THIS...
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