D Day Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 i am knew at this and this is the hardest thing i have ever had to go through. my husband tell me he does not know if he wants to be married any more does not know if he is still in love with me. we have 2 kids and r almost done building a house and property together. he dose not know what he wants he is on depression medicine (not that that is a reason) . he is still coming around and we have been still having sex. i just recently to him not to come around any more and not to call me. he is talking to someone now but this is what we have decided to do but when he found out i was going on a date he was SO SO mad. now i just feel like i am chasing him . WHAT DO I DO he is with me but then leaves. like i said i have stopped him coming over and showering and the calling.i just hope that is the right thing. oh and did i mention we have been married for 13 years December 27th was our anniversary he started a fight the night before so we did not see each other at all that day
mikeymad Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 how long have you been "separated" before you and he started dating? Was there any funny business prior to the separation?
Author D Day Posted January 3, 2010 Author Posted January 3, 2010 We were not seperated that long it has been before thanksgiving and we both talked to see if this is what we (he) wants.I have checked his phone records and the longest phone conversation they have had is 3 min it is all text. Everbody says let him do this he will come back if I let him is going to be the question. So far he has only went 2 days with out talking to me.
carhill Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Perfect timing. I just started a thread about dating while separated. Perhaps you can gain some insight about that particular dynamic. Wrt the issues with H, if he isn't sure he is in love with you nor be married to you, he can enjoy the pleasures of a tent or the nearby motel 6 while not enjoying the pleasures of the marital bed. Choices have consequences. Sex may keep him coming back, as will the kids, but that doesn't mean he'll recommit. It took me a couple years to get to the point of emotional disconnection and, once there, sayanora. Welcome to LS and thank you for showing an example of what women are talking about when encountering a typical 'separated' male
Author D Day Posted January 3, 2010 Author Posted January 3, 2010 Yes I do agree that you should not date till you r D but what happens if he goes 3 weeks with me moving on and he decides that dating is not what he wants and I have rushed the D .
carhill Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 No worries. Ask him to join you in MC while he is living somewhere else and not having sex with you. He seemed pretty clear about how he felt. FWIW, I never said negative words as clearly as that. If he's depressed, he can seek treatment. Not your problem. If he doesn't want to work on the M, file for D. Just because you file doesn't mean it's automatic in x days/months. It's a process. You and he can agree to anything at any time. You can even get a D and still be together. It doesn't matter. Accept what is in front of you. If he is dating other women, I'd file now
Author D Day Posted January 3, 2010 Author Posted January 3, 2010 Yes I do agree that you should not date till you r D but what happens if he goes 3 weeks with me moving on and he decides that dating is not what he wants and I have rushed the D .
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