akaWetNoodle Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Okay, so i totally just wrote a novel about my situation, and went to submit it and I had an error and lost everything I just typed. Maybe it's a sign to spare you from all of the painful details, so i guess i'll give you a more brief version... Might still get a little lengthy though. I've been seeing my GF for a few months now. I can honestly say, that I haven't been more happy with any girl that I've ever dated. I've never laughed more in my life, never enjoyed doing things with someone more than with her, my family really likes her (which is a huge change from my ex's). She's a total knockout! On a scale of Rosie O'Donnell to Adriana Lima she's easily a Taylor Swift, lol. She's spunky, random, energetic, fun loving... an outright amazing person. She does have a lot of emotional baggage however... She's been in a several abussive relationships, her mom was murdered when she was a young child, and she's been lied to, cheated on , the works... Though I didn't take any of this lightheartedly at all, none of it has been a concern to me, because I've always been a very respectful guy, born and raised to respect women and to treat them right. It actually gave me pride because, I can be the one man to show her what love is really all about. Everything was going perfectly well, untill a girl that I had pursued over two years ago decided she wanted to come into the picture. I had pursued her with everything I had a while back, spending money on her, driving acYross the country to see her at school, but nothing ever came of it, because she went to school in New York and I live in the Midwest. She pretty much just used me, because I was so willing to go out of my way for her. I had talked to my girlfriend briefly about her because she had text me once while I was with my GF, and my GF asked about her. I was perfectly honest, said she was a girl that I used to like a lot, I spent a lot of money on her, we were never in a relationship, I had never sexually messed around with her, nothing ever came of it. My girlfriend was fine with that, and trusted me. Well Ms. NY broke up with her boyfriend a couple months ago and called me, and said it was for me. I flat out told her that I was seeing somebody, that I really liked them, and that there's no way that I'd hurt my GF. Well, Christmas break comes along and New York comes back home for the holidays and immediately used facebook and started sending my GF messages on Christmas, telling her all sorts of lies. I have never once lied or hid anything from my GF, but because of all the pain she's been through, she immediately put up a wall, and ended it with me... Cold Turkey. The worst part about it all was that none of it was under my control. Merry Christmas to Me... I've talked to her everyday since then, and I think deep down she really does believe me, but she is so scared of getting hurt again that she won't take me back. Because of all the stuff she's been through, she holds all her emotions inside, and refuses to open up. She says, "I don't cry, I don't open up, I deal with things on my own by holding them in, I raised myself, I know what works for me". I know this isn't healthy for her and I know it will probably just lead to future pain for her. When we have our conversations, they'll get deeper and deeper, and I can tell when she's getting to a point where she's about to break, but then she immediately says, "Stop. I don't want to talk about this anymore". If I say anything else about it, she gets extremly mad at me and refuses to talk to me. She's told me that she needs to get over this whole situation before she can consider giving me another chance, but I feel that if I wait too much longer, she's going to flat out just get over me and move on. Another thing that plays into all of this is that she has a lot of guy friends. This never bothered me while we were together, I'm very confident and I trusted her. I'm a pretty good looking guy too, not too boost my ego or anything, but I have no reason to feel insecure about other guys. Since we've broken up, however, a lot of guys are popping out of the woodwork trying to get with her and talking me down to her. The thought of another guy touching her or kissing her makes me sick to my stomach. I just feel like I have no time to sit around and wait to see what happens. The only solution that I can think of, is to find a way to get her to pass that point that she keeps preventing herself from crossing with me. I know that since she holds everything inside, once she passes that point it will be like opening pandora's box, but my family has done foster care for troubled teenage girls since I was 6 years old, so by now at 25, i've pretty much seen and am prepared for anything from her. I just feel that if i can get her to do that, it will create a bond between us that will far surpass all of the garbage that has gone on over the last little bit. If anybody has any ideas on how I can do this, it would be greatly appreciated. Any other ideas would also be very helpful. This girl means a lot to me, and she's serious the first girl in over three years I've allowed myself to fall in love with. I don't want to lose her. Thanks Everybody
Recommended Posts