Lost-n-confused Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 I'm becoming very frustrated with dating and I'm not getting any better with communicating with women. Recently I met two girls online both spoke two on the phone. First girl I called last Wednesday and she agreed to meet. I called her the next day to set it up and she didn't answer I left a message and she never called back. Second girl I chated with thursday and she asked me out so I called her and we set something up for tonight. She texted me the next day and during our chat we added each other to facebook. That's when I discovered some photos were she looked a bit heavy. So I started to get superfishal asking when photos were taken and why she doesn't have any bikini shot. I didn't want to be suprised on a date. So she sent me some shots of her recently in a corset and she was a very wide hiped curvy latina girl with a gorgous face. I told her that and that I liked what I saw. She did call me superfishal before I complimented her. I defended myself by being str8 up and saying I want someone who's fit and cares about themself because someone who care about there looks cares about much more. I want someone who keeps up and that so far I felt she was very interesting. She said thanks. I asked if she was bring sarcastic and she said no. The next day I went to a mall close to her and invited her to meet me with my friends. She asked if it was guy friends and I said it was my best friend and his girl. She said shed "loved to" and asked what we were doing. I explained "shopping n lunch". She never got back to me. I sent her a text around 9pm asked "whats up? Never heard back from you." she has yet to respond. I'm not contacting her today or calling her for our date unless she contacts me. She str8 up chickened out yesterday on the perfect safe meetup. She seemed so excited and even forgiveing that I was abit superfishal. I'm not driving 40 miles to get stoodup. If she contacts me I'd tell het that myself. Finally met the girl that I was supposed to meet on a blind date and she gorgous. She seemed interested. My friends girl said she said I'm very cute. So I added her on facebook and sent her a message saying "It want nice to meet you, let's get together sometime." she accepted my firend request today but I got no message back. Maybe I'll get a double date with her but she way out of my league because she's older and very very hot. I'm tired, frustrated and not getting better at all. I keep making the same mistakes over and over. I'm about to give up. I'm never going to get a girlfriend or loss my virginity. 2010 is starting off bad, lifes to short to care and complain. I'm done.
stevejohnson1976 Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 dude im in the same boat.... I had on cancel on Wed. and I woke up to the longest text ever this morning for ANOTHER girl saying she'll probably have to cancel tonight. im so f'ing done with this its not even funny.
boogieboy Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 You can give up if you want. But you are making some bad mistakes that are fixable. Number one I learned is too much honesty will bite you in the ass. If youre going to ask a woman for more pictures, you dont tell her why. The way you went about it you kinda set yourself up to get stood up. She might not have showed up because she was scared...maybe she was heavier than the pictures, but if you meet up with her and you dont like what you see, nothing says that you cant leave right then and there. She knows if she showed old pics or not. You also didnt setup for a good date. Shopping and lunch with friends isnt good for a first date...the first date is one on one to get to know each other....a woman who isnt that confident will feel judged by your friends, and no one wants that kind of pressure. Plus you have to come up with a better date than shopping and lunch, or at least keep it simple with coffee and starbucks. Shopping only works if the chemistry is there, if it isnt, youre stuck and uncomfortable. Are you in a habit of making first dates with your friends involved? The first girl that you called on Wednesday, you mean to say that the first time you called her you didnt set up the date right then? Thats why she didnt answer the phone afterwards. She might have planned on flaking anyway, but thats the numbers game. I think these women flake on your because they mistakenly think youre beating around the bush.
Crazy Magnet Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 I admit, post like this make me so happy I'm a girl! Never had a date cancel before.
dreamergrl Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 You really asked her why she didn't have a bikini shot?
paddington bear Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 That's when I discovered some photos were she looked a bit heavy. So I started to get superfishal asking when photos were taken and why she doesn't have any bikini shot. I didn't want to be suprised on a date. So she sent me some shots of her recently in a corset and she was a very wide hiped curvy latina girl with a gorgous face. I told her that and that I liked what I saw. She did call me superfishal before I complimented her. I defended myself by being str8 up and saying I want someone who's fit and cares about themself because someone who care about there looks cares about much more. I want someone who keeps up and that so far I felt she was very interesting. She said thanks. I asked if she was bring sarcastic and she said no. Latina girl is not going to want to meet you because you've already over the phone indicated to her that you would not be attracted to her. Who wants to go on a date knowing that they will be scrutinised and ultimately rejected. I wouldn't have the confidence to go meet some guy who has already sounded a bit unimpressed with my body. You should have held your tongue on the bikini shots (personally I would never, ever send some guy I've never met shots of me in my bikini anyway), gone to meet her, seen if there was some attraction there, even if she was bigger than you'd normally go for, instead of alienating her before you've even begun. Second girl - if she's older, even if she thinks you are cute, might be turned off by your desperation - honestly it radiates off people like the stink off a skunk. You're desperate and yet you want utter perfection from the women you date, so, some you will turn off because you consider them beneath your standards and the others you will turn off by being so desperate and ultimately you will end up with no one. When you chat with women, simply chat about likes and dislikes, normal chit chat, no third degree about figure, looks etc, it will instantly make you appear totally superficial - even that line about I didn't want to be suprised on a date is superficial, can't be bothered to take a chance on a couple of hours with a stranger unless she meets your strict critera. In any case, until you actually meet someone in the flesh it is very hard to tell what they'll look like, photos on dating sites can be very misleading. Life is for living, take more chances, date women who you wouldn't normally date, give some people a chance - you may still not find those attractive, but you will get out and about, you will be in women's company and you will find out what works for you and not, rather than seeking total perfection before you've even put a foot out the door.
DustySaltus Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 First girl I called last Wednesday and she agreed to meet. I called her the next day to set it up and she didn't answer I left a message and she never called back.. Too early too tell. Don't take it to heart. A lot could've gone on, it was NYE. Second girl I chated with thursday and she asked me out so I called her and we set something up for tonight. She texted me the next day and during our chat we added each other to facebook. That's when I discovered some photos were she looked a bit heavy. So I started to get superfishal asking when photos were taken and why she doesn't have any bikini shot. I didn't want to be suprised on a date. So she sent me some shots of her recently in a corset and she was a very wide hiped curvy latina girl with a gorgous face. I told her that and that I liked what I saw. She did call me superfishal before I complimented her. I defended myself by being str8 up and saying I want someone who's fit and cares about themself because someone who care about there looks cares about much more. I want someone who keeps up and that so far I felt she was very interesting. She said thanks. I asked if she was bring sarcastic and she said no. No risk, no reward. By asking her for a "bikini shot" you are telling her that you don't neccearily trust her BEFORE even meeeting her. You are also lumping yourself into a category with every other guy that is looking at the physical first. I know where you are coming from but it puts an impression in her head and she probably had second thoughts. I have a friend who asked girls to send him a picture with that day's newspaper in their hands. Most girls told him to F off, but he kept with it and of course.....he's still single. I'm not contacting her today or calling her for our date unless she contacts me. She str8 up chickened out yesterday on the perfect safe meetup. She seemed so excited and even forgiveing that I was abit superfishal. I'm not driving 40 miles to get stoodup. If she contacts me I'd tell het that myself. Agreed, the ball is in her court. Maybe I'll get a double date with her but she way out of my league because she's older and very very hot. I'm tired, frustrated and not getting better at all. I keep making the same mistakes over and over. I'm about to give up. I'm never going to get a girlfriend or loss my virginity. I don't even know where to begin here. 1) Go out on a date with her and do the opposite of EVERYTHINg you've been doing. No analyzing anything, no expectations and focus on her having a great time. What makes someone out of our league? OURSELVES. We make these glass ceilings for ourselves and it's only when we take chance that we realize what's out there. I've been on some horrible dates. I've had girls send me provocative pictures of themselves BEFORE we even met. Then we go out and I ask her if i can walk her to her block and she says, "i don't feel comfortable yet with you knowing where I live". WTF? I was left scratching my head on numerous occasions but trying to make sense of it will drive you crazy. It's not about the destination, it's about enjoying the ride. Learn from these experiences and keep your eyes open. You're going through a losing streak, but it will turn around..it always does.
Author Lost-n-confused Posted January 2, 2010 Author Posted January 2, 2010 It wasn't a date at the mall but a safe first meet. The date for tonight was planned for a sushi restrant one-on-one. I never bring friends along. I've never acutally met a girl in person that I talked to online. The first girl had an annoying accent anyways so I'm not upset. I meet alot of women bit just can't get a day. I date one girl and she dumped me. Another girl gave me two date cause she was hungry and bored.
Yukikazi Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Dude you are trying to date from online.. don't expect much.. sure you may get lucky (pun intended) but don't have high expectations. You need to work on your real life skills more then your email ones.
dreamergrl Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 OP - I think your better then everyone else attitude is why you are having problems. You have something negative to say about every girl you come across. Get over yourself, you are not all that and a bag of chips.
cognac Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Yeah considering his looks , the OP will easily be able to talk to girls in real life as long as he possesses even the most bare bones social skills. Online dating is the worst for a man.
Pizzaman81 Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 ...So I started to get superfishal asking when photos were taken and why she doesn't have any bikini shot... Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Man down.. man down..
Author Lost-n-confused Posted January 2, 2010 Author Posted January 2, 2010 I only asked for a bikini shot because I was about ready to delete her number and block her from yahoo msg. Yea I'm superfishal... Yet she sent the photos and I told her I liked what I saw. She seemed to like it. I also explained why I was being superfishal that I want someone who cares about themselfs. If she borderline now what happends when she gets comfortable she gains 10,20, 50 lbs!!! Forget that noise. I spend 3 hours a day 5 times a week working out. I need someone who understands my lifestyle and wants to share it. We still chated after that. Wished each other a happy new year. The next day she said she would love to meet at the mall. I guess she changed her mind. Should I try to contact her or give up. She never canceled on tonight I was thinking about texting her right now...
dreamergrl Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Yeah considering his looks , the OP will easily be able to talk to girls in real life as long as he possesses even the most bare bones social skills. Online dating is the worst for a man. So why is he a 24 year old virgin then? I only asked for a bikini shot because I was about ready to delete her number and block her from yahoo msg. Yea I'm superfishal... Yet she sent the photos and I told her I liked what I saw. She seemed to like it. I also explained why I was being superfishal that I want someone who cares about themselfs. If she borderline now what happends when she gets comfortable she gains 10,20, 50 lbs!!! Forget that noise. I spend 3 hours a day 5 times a week working out. I need someone who understands my lifestyle and wants to share it. Just because someone doesn't spend their life at the gym doesn't mean they are a bad person. Just because you do spend your life at the gym doesn't mean you are a good person. You are putting down these girls before you meet them. You know nothing about them. Some people are just bigger boned. Some have natural curves and are happy with that. If you aren't into their looks, then don't talk to them. But don't go asking stupid crap like why don't they have a bikini picture.
pricillia Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 You really asked her why she didn't have a bikini shot? I know give me a break what about getting to know someone, why don't you just pay for sex and order it online give me a breakkkkkkkkkkk.
allina Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Maybe these women are in to guys that can use proper grammar and know how to spell?
paddington bear Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Well OP does your dating profile reflect the impression I'm getting of you now? Or is it all charm and lies? Why not be totally honest on there? Put up the truth, some people might say I am a superficial person, in fact I call myself superficial, but I like to take care of my fitness and body and only want a girl who is as superficial as me and who looks as good as me, no one over a size 0 need apply. Some might see it as confidence, others as arrogance, but so what? Better that, than to have all sorts of women thinking that they have a chance with you, when in fact only .0001 per cent will do because you have very strict guidelines on what you want physically. You may get less replies, or no replies, but since you are going to make it obvious to every woman who does reply that you are interested in her physical shape above her personality or anything else, at least you will weed out everyone else except gym-bunnies who are uber-confident. Let me give you a tip - even if you are gagging for sex, and only gagging for sex with some totally hot girl who looks like a lingerie model YOU DO NOT ANNOUNCE THAT TO THE GIRLS YOU WANT TO DATE!!!!! It's a total turn off. Girls want to feel that you find them attractive and that you are interested in their personality. Announcing that all you care about is the body from the offset tells them 'all he wants is sex...NEXT!!!' - most girls on dating sites are looking for boyfriends or potential husbands. Why not try one of those like adultfriendfinder sites which is just for no strings attached sex?
paddington bear Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Maybe these women are in to guys that can use proper grammar and know how to spell? Yes...I meant to mention that..."You want a bikini shot? In return I would like perfect English grammar and spelling as an indication of your level of intelligence."
pricillia Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 paddington bear, I agree with you he is just looking for some hot girl that looks great undressed that can get him off... I would rather have a few extra pounds and be curvey or overweight who cares and be with a man that actually cares about me and not my bikini He may be somewhat good looking but that as far as it goes for me
dreamergrl Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 I don't care how good looking a guy is. If he can't have a personality to back it up with, he's not attractive in my book.
cognac Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 I don't care how good looking a guy is. If he can't have a personality to back it up with, he's not attractive in my book. For every 10 women who say this, 1 will actually mean it. While the OP sounds like a bit of a shallow ass, he can be because he is tall, handsome and muscular, so women will love him no matter what (then complain when he bangs them and moves on shortly after). You'd probably go weak in the knees if he messaged you
Author Lost-n-confused Posted January 2, 2010 Author Posted January 2, 2010 I'm looking for a relationship not sex. I want to be in love first. I'm working and on an iPhone no time to edit.
Yukikazi Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Yea I kinda wanna kick the op also.. Its spelled superficial, you twit ... and get off your high horse till you get some.. then you can be picky. Cause sorry dude.. your attitude currently cancels out your possible looks causing the *forgive me ladies.. I am being male and blunt here* prime rib you want to be unattainable.. you can't go for steak when you don't even know how to handle ground beef. Try forming a bond or 2 ... you may be surprised
Brightmoon Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Maybe these women are in to guys that can use proper grammar and know how to spell? Tee hee hee...
dreamergrl Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 For every 10 women who say this, 1 will actually mean it. While the OP sounds like a bit of a shallow ass, he can be because he is tall, handsome and muscular, so women will love him no matter what (then complain when he bangs them and moves on shortly after). You'd probably go weak in the knees if he messaged you :laugh: You don't get it do you? OP has never had sex, can't get a date, and can't seem to keep a girl around. It's his attitude. OP if you want to be in love so bad, quit with the over analyzing of their looks. Just go out on a date. Stop asking for bikini pictures. Quit making them think they are being tested to go out with you. No one likes to feel like they are applying for a date.
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